Facing some big challenges this weekend
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
Congrats Jakey for staying sober in the middle of people drinking. That takes courage and determination. You're over two weeks sober now, right? Keep moving forward one day at a time!
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Jakey: I think the reason they prefer the drunk (drinking) version of you is because it keeps some of them from having to take a look in the mirror, like you did when you decided to quit. Some of your friends (my friends too) are probably stuck in the same life (of misery) that we just extracted ourselves from, so while some among them might be genuinely happy for you (and prefer the sober version) many prefer the drunk you because misery loves company and they wish they could do what you have done but for whatever reason cannot and they may even resent you for your accomplishment because it's not theirs, it's as simple as that. This is when & how we figure out who our real friends are.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: PNW
Posts: 87
getr345 - there is no question that you are correct. Many of my friends have drinking problems of their own and I know a lot of them don't like to see me doing something about my problem, probably for the reasons you mention.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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I'll tell ya Jakey, of my friends and their reactions, I have had some good ones and I've had some bad ones and I've had some just normal (oh, OK) ones but I've had one GREAT one. Some people who don't have problems of their own with booze are happy to hear my news, glad for me it seems, but for them life goes on because it doesn't really affect them. It's my problem, whatever that is. Some others have said some stupid things ("you'll be drinking again, I guarantee it") and you can tell what I'm doing threatens them and their dealings with me.
One friend (best friend, best man in my wedding) in particular reacted the way a true friend and a high quality person might, he (an alcoholic if there ever was one) reacted by stopping drinking himself, going to AA, and getting a sponsor. I've posted about him a bit and he's coming up on his 30 days. So he falls into the category of true friend in this little game of determining who my true friends are. He did it for himself of course and he needed to, but he did it when he did it because of me and very much in support of me.
He set the bar pretty high for reactions so everything else is disappointing in a way.
What more could I ask for in a friend?
One friend (best friend, best man in my wedding) in particular reacted the way a true friend and a high quality person might, he (an alcoholic if there ever was one) reacted by stopping drinking himself, going to AA, and getting a sponsor. I've posted about him a bit and he's coming up on his 30 days. So he falls into the category of true friend in this little game of determining who my true friends are. He did it for himself of course and he needed to, but he did it when he did it because of me and very much in support of me.
He set the bar pretty high for reactions so everything else is disappointing in a way.
What more could I ask for in a friend?
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: PNW
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by getr345 
Some others have said some stupid things ("you'll be drinking again, I guarantee it") and you can tell what I'm doing threatens them and their dealings with me.
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