Toomutch

Bam :ghug3

Hey everyone - I haven't been around much - too busy.

Hope all is well with everyone

Tryingto

Thanks Pelican. I sure will! Nothing makes me prouder than my son. He is such a well behaved little boy, I am very lucky. He is super excited. We made christmas themed jelly cups (red & green, lol) and put a good dash of lollies & a piece of chocolate on top - hope the other parents don't hate me, hehe!

Day 9 of sobriety!
Feel better today, just 'normal' not flying on the walls but "Ok".
Last few days were

All the best for today everyone!!!

Bamboozle

Don't relapse...I have been drinking off and on for the past two months and I can't stop. It just gets worse.

Last night was really bad. I need help. I'm scared to go to a therapist. I'm short on cash. I'm intimidated by the process. I'm not sure it will help me, anyways. I do not like myself at all. A therapist cannot change my genetics. I hate myself. I am an ugly disgusting blob.

What incredible luck...if my parents had just waited a little longer or done it sooner, there'd probably be a better person in my place.

Pelican

Good Morning Everyone!

I found this post by our friend Astro and thought it might be something healthy for us to try. It concerns finding love for ourselves. Thanks Astro for the share:

"The purpose of this post is to share a simple meditation that I read this morning. I hope you find it useful, and please share your thoughts.

You're reading from the book "Keep It Simple", Nov. 21st., published by Hazelden.

To love others, we must first learn to love ourselves - Anonymous

Sometimes we think our life would be fine if that dream person showed up. But loving someone isn't easy. Our bad habits cause problems. We have to change. Sometimes we aren't ready to have one special person. We need to have a group of people - our recovery group - to love and help us get healthy. We must learn to trust, to be honest, to give help, and to love others. The truth is, no one person can make our life wonderful - except us. We hold happiness inside of us. It's in our spirit. Look no further.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me love myself.

Action for the Day.

I'll list five ways I will love myself today. "

Pelican

I'll go first.

1) I will do everything to the best of my ability.

2) I will treat others as I wish to be treated, with dignity and respect.

3) I will provide my body with healthy nutrition.

4) I will take myself for a long walk.

5) I will shave my legs!

hotchili

As the holidays approach, and a nasty MIL to visit soon , I need to re connect with supportive people but I stopped going to AA because the folks were so desperate and unhappy. They made me feel grateful that I never had to go through de -tox, that my family is still together after 30 yrs., I have a good Md. , and that I have been stable for nearly 4 yrs.
I will have a house full of drinkers at Xmas who don't seem to understand how uncomfortable I feel when they inbibe all evening and have lots of fun. I bow out of many parties, but I won't leave my own home ! My MIL brings cases of good wine and liquor
as a " hostess " gift to help with expenses , and does not think twice because she knows I am " well ". Drink is part of the family's Xmas tradition and I want to be a good hostess but I hate having the stuff all over the house.

least

Bam, I hope you don't stay away too long - I'd miss you. And please don't feel that you don't 'deserve' to be here. We all deserve to be here cause we're all struggling in one way or another. I know all too well how self-hatred feels cause I often hate myself. I'm doing better tho, and am practicing being kinder to myself as I'm kind to others.

Don't stay gone too long. :ghug3

Philly

Hotchili-

I agree with you about the drinking. It is traditional that we have Christmas eve at my house with people coming all the time. Everyone is drinking unless they are not old enough or pregnant and of course this year I will be included. This is my first year and with only 5 months sober by Christmas I hope it wont be too hard. I am going to try and limit the alcohol beverages to beer and wine.

hotchili

For some reason , the type of drink does not matter - it is the behavior , or custom , the norm if you will , that makes me uncomfortable because it is no longer MY norm . I had to change while the rest of the family stayed the same. Must be some kind of latent resentment on my part. I have not learned how to " play " and have a good time because I am concentrating so hard on staying sober. The first Xmas was hard . Then again, my sobriety was new and everyone noticed and was supportive. Now, they just figure that part of my life is over and I am normal again. I just choose not to drink. They don't realize that I make that choice every day.
Noticed you live in Philly - I grew up there and got back yesterday from visiting family who are unable to travel. Brrrrrrr !

Bamboozle

Hello, hotchili.

Welcome to so many here. The more, the merrier.

Dee74

Welcome hotchilli!!
lets all lean on each other through this Christmas thing.
Ugh.

you're lucky I missed that blob post Bam
LOL

I think self hatred and lack of self esteem is one of the reasons I drank for so long.

Took me 15 years of drinking to find out I actually wasn't that bad a guy - not perfect mind, but not horrible either - I just listened to a lot of dysfunctional people and a hell of a lot of dysfunctional BS.

Took me a while to 'hear' it, but now I try and listen to my gut.

Hope it doesn't sound too Hallmark if I say I hope everyone feels worthwhile today
Don't want to have to give back my Cynics Card or nothin'

good posts by the way Pelican - thanks!
my 1-3 are the same...4 is go to the library, 5 is not to shave my legs
D

least

I really like this 'non group'! Hugs for everyone!

:ghug3 :ghug3 :ghug3

coffeenut

hotchili, welcome to SR. Your Christmas sounds like mine is going to be, except this will be my first Christmas sober. I am going to keep you in the corner of my mind knowing you have done 4 of them! Thanks for your post.

You know, people really do NOT get it, that it is hard to stay sober. They think if you don't drink, you must not want to and it's easy. My husband didn't get it why I didn't want to kiss him after he drank a (or a LOT of) beer. It took a lot of explaining from me, that it was a HUGE trigger. Duh!

Pelican, I am NOT shaving my legs, it's cold around here! :P

Bamboozle

Anodyne, are you still around? Talk to us.

doorknob

I'm in da house...

Philly

hotchili-
Yes I am from philly and summers in Wildwood - can't figure out how come I became addicted to alcohol.

I am thankful I did not really drink until I was in my 40's or this could have been alot worse. I always wanted that shore house but was not ready for the drinking. I do think the good thing about alcoholism is if you never drink you don't even know you have it. Maybe something to pass on to grandkids because the kids already drink too much.

Hope everyone has a nice sober weekend. 3 weeks from today the entire holiday including New Years will be behind us. I hope we have nice sober stories. I will be watching the drunks and thanking God it is not me.

TryingSoHard

Hi y'all,

I made it through my NYC trip with my mom (miraculously!) but now I'm having a new struggle. I haven't come up with a plan to get through the holidays yet, but that's not even what's bugging me at the moment.

My husband has a couple of accomplishments to celebrate, and I feel lost and confused. We always celebrate with champagne. Always. And now we can't, and I feel like it's my fault. We went out to dinner tonight at his favorite restaurant - sushi - and he didn't even have sake with his dinner because of me. I told him he should have sake, and he said, "Don't be silly, I don't drink anymore, so quit trying to be a bad influence on me."

I definitely appreciate his support, but I feel guilty and awkward, and now I'm suddenly reminded that we can never again celebrate the way we used to. It makes me really wish that we could just pop the cork on that champagne bottle like we used to. I don't even have fantasies about getting drunk right now, I just want what we used to have.

I know that there are other ways to celebrate, and I know that I shouldn't feel guilty about any of this, but I do and now my mind is spinning. I laid in bed awake until 3 a.m. this morning thinking about how I can never drink again. WTF?

Thanks for letting me rant.

coffeenut

Trying....breathe.....remember when you didn't think you could get through NYC? And you did!

You are making a choice to change how you celebrate....because the way you celebrated before was NOT healthy, remember?

One day at a time. Sometimes, one MOMENT at a time. Don't think about the rest.

FWIW, I sure wish my husbands attitude was like your husbands. My husband is still drinking. A Lot.

Bamboozle

But look at what you do have. A fantastic, supportive person standing by your side.

He sounds wonderful.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Try to take it easy, TSH.

TryingSoHard

Thanks, y'all, for helping me get things back in the right perspective.

(And yes, he is wonderful.)