Horselover

(((BAM))) Look at the support you got when you reached out. We all care about you and I bet your parents do too. Communication between parents and their kids can be so difficult. If you can't afford counseling please consider AA. You need f2f interaction Bam. You need a true hug from someone. I hope you'll consider it. Put your religious beliefs aside and try it if you haven't. I can feel your pain, but I can't give you a true honest to good hug. I hope you'll consider it my friend. PM me anytime today. I'll be around.

Rusty Zipper

bam, a no frills hug out...

and as HL mentioned, try a few meetings...

wad'a ya got to loose?

bumble2008123

Rowan's advice is spot on. You can't change your parents any more than they can change you. You can only find the type of relationship that is healthy for the both of you to maintain.

gypsytears

No advice... I think Dee & Ro covered it all already.

Just adding a hug for you today.

Mariposa18

How are you doing today Bam?

nickishine

Bam,

Don't twist yourself into thinking we don't care or understand! We do and are here for you and each other. I've been where you are at!! The do or die feelings that overwhelm and suffocate!! The good news is that they do pass (although they may come back again, then pass again)....

Just don't give up or give in. Talk to someone. Is there anyone you can talk to face to face about this? If no is your answer, what would you have to lose by going to a meeting and talking to another addict/alcoholic who knows what you're talking about? Give life a chance and hang in there. Please keep posting and know you are not alone!
Hugs xoxoxox:ghug2

Tazman53

Bam if you want a hug, some face to face to face with folks that understand, a good firm handshake from real people who care an AA meeting is about the only place I can think of that an alcoholic is going to find that, if some one know of some where else that offers that I am all ears.

Bam just keep in mind that the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking, period, that is it!

You can be black, white, green, or yellow, Muslim, Christian, hindu, agnostic, or aethiest, rich or poor, democrat, republican, communist, or independant, young or old, male or female, literate or illiterate, male or female, gay or straight, if you have a desire to stop drinking you are welcome with open arms.

What is the worst that could happen? Maybe make some friends, meet some old friends, have a laugh, get a hug, a knowing look?

Bamboozle

Thanks for asking...I just recieved a wonderful gift today...


Someone in my family gave me an SLR camera. I've been wanting to buy a digital version, but I can learn with this one. Self-teaching can be fun and exciting.

This came out of nowhere, and I couldn't thank her enough.

When my dad gets home, I'll apologize for blowing up at him, quickly drop the subject, and show him the camera. We can talk about stuff like that. Oh yeah, and sports, too. That's about it.



Otherwise, I'm trying...

IO Storm

Bam..

I gave you a hug yesterday because there was too much I wanted to say...

And I can be wordy. lol I recall when I separated from my husband many years ago,

sitting in my therapist's office, crying...I had needed my father's support so

desperately..and he had actually thrown (literally) the Bible at me.

The therapist said.."You can't get validation right now from your father...

he is fearful for you..and doesn't know how to express his feelings..

and he is an old lion roaring his last.." My dad was in poor health..

He did later on become my champion, Bam. Concening my personal

life, and problems. Our relationship healed. But.... not concerning my

alcoholism or addictions. I found that acceptance only in AA. My dad

is gone now. My mother never accepted I had a problem. She never

wanted to hear the word "alcoholic" until my bottom 2 1/2 years ago

that almost killed me..and I was thrown out of her home. I live with

her, and care for her now. She is happy I go to meetings. Happy I

have AA friends and a sponsor. She is dang proud of me!

But..she still doesn't understand why I ever picked up or "became" alcoholic, addict, or

a gambler...raised in Christian home. Not really. She says as much.

Only others like me truly understand me.

I find that understanding and love, and acceptance here, and in AA.

And no one pushed God down my throat..they really don't, as Taz shared.

I guess..to sum it up..parents do what they believe is best with what they have.

They just don't don't understand. They don't have to.

But we do.

Love ya Bam!

Don't give up hun...

:ghug3:

Bamboozle

I don't know what I'd do without all of you.

Impurrfect

(((Bam)))

I'm sorry I'm late on this, but glad you're feeling better today.

I went through something similar last Christmas, with my dad. He doesn't understand addiction, doesn't want to. As far as he's concerned, it's the same thing as quitting smoking. Similar, yes, but smoking cigarettes has never made me do the stupid things that smoking crack did.

We got into a HUGE blowup Christmas night. I was literally shaking, all I could think of was getting out of the house. I knew if I left, I would go to a motel. I had money in the bank, and I knew if I went to a hotel, someone would be there selling crack. I got on SR, and, luckily, a friend was online and talked me back to sanity.

What's really a coincidence is what he got me for Christmas was a camera

Anyway, a year later, I'm STILL at home (can't afford to move out), he still doesn't understand addiction. But I've learned where to get my support from. I've made many friends here, and if they aren't on SR, I can get them by e-mail, or I have their phone numbers. I also have a couple friends/family who are not addicts, who are always there for me.

I don't go to meetings, but I have a ton of support. I think meetings are GREAT for a lot of people, and if I didn't have the support I have, I would definitely go. The relationship I have with my dad is now the best it's ever been. I've had to accept that he just can't help me with my addiction recovery. He constantly tells me how proud he is of me, and has even picked up a few of my recovery tools and tells me how much he admires my attitude and even comes to ME for advice (he is also a know-it-all). I go to him for advice on things, too...just not recovery stuff. It hasn't been easy, there's been arguing and head-butting because we're both stubborn as mules. But it's darn sure been worth it.

Sorry this is so long, but I just wanted you to know I really do understand what you're going through.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Dean62

Hi Bam

Reaching out for help as you are doing isn't always an easy thing. It took me a long time to finally do it myself. There is a second important part of reaching out for help that took me even longer to understand and it is very simple. Now that you have reached out for help you have to give yourself the gift of accepting the help that has been given to you.

If I tell you where there is a man who gives away a hundred dollars to anyone who asks for it every morning it's up to you to take the action and go get it. It's that simple. People here who care about you have offered you the gift of help. The help and friendship found here is far better when found in person, face to face where you can get that hug that is waiting for you. Please put aside any reasons you have for not going to a meeting, those reasons are helping you to stay miserable.

Accept the gift that has been offered by people here who are extending help to you. There are many people out there that need and want you.

Here is my hug
Larry