Hello! New here. Please read and help me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 4
Hello! New here. Please read and help me
This is kinda long i just need help. Please.
Well, where to start? Iam a 23 year old. My addiction is percocet or opiate. It all began when i was 16. I started to have panic attacks and bad anxiety to where i couldnt even leave the house with out feeling scared to death. Well I broke my hand and my doc prescribed me 10 mg percs for the pain. Well for some reason I figured out that when I was on these they took away all my anxiety and i could do anything. I could go out side and enjoy my life and be happy all at the same time. So i took those maybe 1 or 2 times a week just for fun. Well over the years i needed more and more. when i was 19 i was popping 11-12 yellow 10s at one time. I still didnt realize i had a problem. I was then introduced to the little blue perc 30s.
They have no asprin in them. Pure codeine. I started with 3 at once. Well that was too much. I OverDosed and ended up with a pumped stomach and pumped veins laying in the hospital bed. That was a real wake up call. Ever since that night. My anxiety has doubled for some reason it was so bad with out the percs. I started taking the blue 30s again after about a month. Anything lower than a perc 30 would do nothing to me. Especially if it had asprin in it.
Well to sum up a story, Iam 23 and addicted to percs. I have to take (6) 30s at 1 time and i barely get a high. It maybe lasts for 45 mins if that. each pill cost me $25. So iam spending $125 a day on it.Over the past 7 years i have spent well over $20,000. I scrape up every bit of money i have for it. I used to sell them just to get some for profit. These pills have affected me physically and mentally. I used to weigh 168 and now since i take them whenever i can get them, i weigh 140. I cant sleep with out having to stretch every 2-3 mins, I never eat, i have horrible nutrition, i cant make a bowel movement to save my life, i ache in pain when i dont have them. Mentally, Nothing makes me happy any more. The pleasure receptors in my brain my doc said are blocked by the opiates. They sort of go in place of normal ones. So what makes a normal person happy, wouldnt make me happy. Like eating, spending time with loved ones, hobbies. All that makes me happy is chasing the high or thinking about getting high. They have made me depressed to the point of suicide is all thats on your mind, They make u feel like you have nothing to live for and you are a piece of crap that every one looks down upon. They make you have no sex drive at all. And if you can get an erection you cant orgasm.I cant hold a job for more than a few months because i feel like im doing nothing and working at a dead end job is not doing anything for my life. My parents are divorced and my father i never talk to anymore. he moved an hour away and has a new family. He even forgot my recent birthday nov 14th. My step father is a piece of **** who is suffering from depresion and does not talk. he is a horrible person that likes to munipulate and start sensless bull ****. He is jealous of me becase my mother is so good to me and loves me and he never had that before. he was on his own since he was 18. Iam 23 and still live at home.But thats only because i have no career and i cant afford to move out with this addiction and the economy is screwed up. My mother is a very caring person but she is addicted to the game second life on the internet, She has fun on there and is on there maybe 6 hrs a day.shes on there alot because she has no real life because of her lousy husband who does not talk to any one in the house unless if its to bitch or complain.
Well its time i took a hold of this addiction and start a new life. Last week my ex girlfriend told my mother about it all. My mother confronted me and instead of being in denial all my life i stood up and was a man n told her everything. My ex girl friends father is also an addict. He knew what i was going through the whole time. So he gave me some suboxone with reduce the withdrawl symptoms and clear your mind and get you off the perc. If you take a perc while on it you get sick. They also make you not want to take a perc because of that. well he gave me 1 and made me buy the rest for $10. I immediatley took it and i havent takin a perc in 5 days. I have just been taking suboxone. 1 a day when i get up and i go out and do things to keep my mind off percs. I can already see a change in my attitude. Iam no longer angry and eaisly aggravated. Iam starting to see things at a diff angle. Of course i still have major cravings but i just think about if i do take a perc i will be so sick. My mother is very supportive and paying more attention to me each day.She is also talking about scheduling an appointment with a addiction specialist. Me and my mom. We talk now. My step father doesnt talk but whats new. I just need to stay away from the people that make me angry, upset or use the drug.
If any one can help me with any questions id appreciate it:
-How long untill i love life and not have cravings?
-How long untill my pleasure receptors go back to normal and regular things make me happy again like they did when i was a kid?
Thank you all for you attention and i just need support if iam going to get through this whole thing. Iam 5 days clean and hoping and trying forever. Thank you again
Well, where to start? Iam a 23 year old. My addiction is percocet or opiate. It all began when i was 16. I started to have panic attacks and bad anxiety to where i couldnt even leave the house with out feeling scared to death. Well I broke my hand and my doc prescribed me 10 mg percs for the pain. Well for some reason I figured out that when I was on these they took away all my anxiety and i could do anything. I could go out side and enjoy my life and be happy all at the same time. So i took those maybe 1 or 2 times a week just for fun. Well over the years i needed more and more. when i was 19 i was popping 11-12 yellow 10s at one time. I still didnt realize i had a problem. I was then introduced to the little blue perc 30s.
They have no asprin in them. Pure codeine. I started with 3 at once. Well that was too much. I OverDosed and ended up with a pumped stomach and pumped veins laying in the hospital bed. That was a real wake up call. Ever since that night. My anxiety has doubled for some reason it was so bad with out the percs. I started taking the blue 30s again after about a month. Anything lower than a perc 30 would do nothing to me. Especially if it had asprin in it.
Well to sum up a story, Iam 23 and addicted to percs. I have to take (6) 30s at 1 time and i barely get a high. It maybe lasts for 45 mins if that. each pill cost me $25. So iam spending $125 a day on it.Over the past 7 years i have spent well over $20,000. I scrape up every bit of money i have for it. I used to sell them just to get some for profit. These pills have affected me physically and mentally. I used to weigh 168 and now since i take them whenever i can get them, i weigh 140. I cant sleep with out having to stretch every 2-3 mins, I never eat, i have horrible nutrition, i cant make a bowel movement to save my life, i ache in pain when i dont have them. Mentally, Nothing makes me happy any more. The pleasure receptors in my brain my doc said are blocked by the opiates. They sort of go in place of normal ones. So what makes a normal person happy, wouldnt make me happy. Like eating, spending time with loved ones, hobbies. All that makes me happy is chasing the high or thinking about getting high. They have made me depressed to the point of suicide is all thats on your mind, They make u feel like you have nothing to live for and you are a piece of crap that every one looks down upon. They make you have no sex drive at all. And if you can get an erection you cant orgasm.I cant hold a job for more than a few months because i feel like im doing nothing and working at a dead end job is not doing anything for my life. My parents are divorced and my father i never talk to anymore. he moved an hour away and has a new family. He even forgot my recent birthday nov 14th. My step father is a piece of **** who is suffering from depresion and does not talk. he is a horrible person that likes to munipulate and start sensless bull ****. He is jealous of me becase my mother is so good to me and loves me and he never had that before. he was on his own since he was 18. Iam 23 and still live at home.But thats only because i have no career and i cant afford to move out with this addiction and the economy is screwed up. My mother is a very caring person but she is addicted to the game second life on the internet, She has fun on there and is on there maybe 6 hrs a day.shes on there alot because she has no real life because of her lousy husband who does not talk to any one in the house unless if its to bitch or complain.
Well its time i took a hold of this addiction and start a new life. Last week my ex girlfriend told my mother about it all. My mother confronted me and instead of being in denial all my life i stood up and was a man n told her everything. My ex girl friends father is also an addict. He knew what i was going through the whole time. So he gave me some suboxone with reduce the withdrawl symptoms and clear your mind and get you off the perc. If you take a perc while on it you get sick. They also make you not want to take a perc because of that. well he gave me 1 and made me buy the rest for $10. I immediatley took it and i havent takin a perc in 5 days. I have just been taking suboxone. 1 a day when i get up and i go out and do things to keep my mind off percs. I can already see a change in my attitude. Iam no longer angry and eaisly aggravated. Iam starting to see things at a diff angle. Of course i still have major cravings but i just think about if i do take a perc i will be so sick. My mother is very supportive and paying more attention to me each day.She is also talking about scheduling an appointment with a addiction specialist. Me and my mom. We talk now. My step father doesnt talk but whats new. I just need to stay away from the people that make me angry, upset or use the drug.
If any one can help me with any questions id appreciate it:
-How long untill i love life and not have cravings?
-How long untill my pleasure receptors go back to normal and regular things make me happy again like they did when i was a kid?
Thank you all for you attention and i just need support if iam going to get through this whole thing. Iam 5 days clean and hoping and trying forever. Thank you again
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
Hi & welcome, Suggashane!
WoW! Thanks for your post!!! Very eye-opening to me this morning!
Regarding your questions....
I don't believe you can set a clock until "poof" everything is lovely and wonderful and you are well with the world & yourself. My experience in the past has always been to expect the unexpected (good 'n bad) and all the emotions that course through me in my sober state. Cravings come and go but generally lessen in time although at the moment they're reeking havoc in your mind, it seems they will be endless.
It's great you're thinking of seeing a specialist with your mom and hopefully you'll have a Dr. who REALLY understands addiction and points you in the right direction. Have you thought about checking out AA/NA? There's mtgs. everywhere and all times of day. No doubt if you walk into a mtg. someone there will totally identify with your story!!! (If not more than 1 -- probably most of the room!)!
Pleasure receptors returning???? Again, no set timer on that one either. The further we are away from our addiction/disease physically.... the quicker they return I'm thinking.
Best to you, my dear.... Please keep posting through all this. You are definitely NOT alone!!!
WoW! Thanks for your post!!! Very eye-opening to me this morning!
Regarding your questions....
I don't believe you can set a clock until "poof" everything is lovely and wonderful and you are well with the world & yourself. My experience in the past has always been to expect the unexpected (good 'n bad) and all the emotions that course through me in my sober state. Cravings come and go but generally lessen in time although at the moment they're reeking havoc in your mind, it seems they will be endless.
It's great you're thinking of seeing a specialist with your mom and hopefully you'll have a Dr. who REALLY understands addiction and points you in the right direction. Have you thought about checking out AA/NA? There's mtgs. everywhere and all times of day. No doubt if you walk into a mtg. someone there will totally identify with your story!!! (If not more than 1 -- probably most of the room!)!
Pleasure receptors returning???? Again, no set timer on that one either. The further we are away from our addiction/disease physically.... the quicker they return I'm thinking.
Best to you, my dear.... Please keep posting through all this. You are definitely NOT alone!!!
Just starting out...
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 110
I'm glad you are turning this around for yourself. You sound like you are really ready for this change, good for you. From my experience with Second Life, it tends to flow and then ebb. It's fun for awhile then you get bored with it.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome to SR Sugga! Glad that you found us! 
Sorry that you are going through this right now....but glad that you decided to get clean for yourself! Awesome!!
I agree that seeing a Doctor is the best thing for you right now-They can answer any questions that you might have. We here at SR do not have medical degrees and can only support our experiences which everyone's is different...just a thought to consider. Also consider going to an NA meeting for additional support!
There is a lot of support here at SR! Please keep posting! Please also check out our other forums and the stickies at the top of the forums which are filled with a wealth of information-
Sorry that you are going through this right now....but glad that you decided to get clean for yourself! Awesome!!
I agree that seeing a Doctor is the best thing for you right now-They can answer any questions that you might have. We here at SR do not have medical degrees and can only support our experiences which everyone's is different...just a thought to consider. Also consider going to an NA meeting for additional support!
There is a lot of support here at SR! Please keep posting! Please also check out our other forums and the stickies at the top of the forums which are filled with a wealth of information-
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi and Welcome,
I also hope that you will talk to your dr.
Each person is different, so it will take some time and patience before you get to a point where you no longer have cravings and experience normal emotions. We are here to offer support.
I also hope that you will talk to your dr.
Each person is different, so it will take some time and patience before you get to a point where you no longer have cravings and experience normal emotions. We are here to offer support.
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
Hello, Suggashane all I could tell u is God Bless your soul
that you are still here telling us your War Stories, Now what I could say
is if you really want out, or want to live a fruitful, Healthy Life
is going to take time, remember we didn't became Addicts over night
your going to have to be Gentle, and patience with your self, and this process,
but the good thing is that there is Hope, and like I said if you really want this
then Grab Life By the Horns, and Do what ever it takes to to get
Clean, first see^^ a Doc, telling him, or her, How you feel, everything you wrote
on your thread, to a Doc
and tell him you want out you want to get clean and he will refer you to get Detox
but you got to want it first, and really stick to it,God Bless you and Don't Give up
"The Journey of a Thousand Miles is Not Conquer in How Fast you Run is that You Get There" &
that you are still here telling us your War Stories, Now what I could say
is if you really want out, or want to live a fruitful, Healthy Life
is going to take time, remember we didn't became Addicts over night
your going to have to be Gentle, and patience with your self, and this process,
but the good thing is that there is Hope, and like I said if you really want this
then Grab Life By the Horns, and Do what ever it takes to to get
Clean, first see^^ a Doc, telling him, or her, How you feel, everything you wrote
on your thread, to a Doc
and tell him you want out you want to get clean and he will refer you to get Detox
but you got to want it first, and really stick to it,God Bless you and Don't Give up
"The Journey of a Thousand Miles is Not Conquer in How Fast you Run is that You Get There" &
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: West Palm Beach, fl
Posts: 24
you are not alone. I had a Loricet addiction 8-10 per day, everyday, ALL day! Im only in day 2 of recovery, but i wont look back. The past 2 years have been a blur and I dont want the rest of my life to FEEL LIFELESS! A One-Day-AT-A-Time attitude will serve you well!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 4
hey every one... Wow! such fast replies. I thank you all for your support...i will be on here alot now that i have found this site. Once again thank you.. i will keep you guys posted .. iam thinking of posting each nite to this thread just to vent and say how im feeliing that day. like a diary. Is that ok?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 4
Ok so i sat inside most of the day today. i didnt take any suboxone. i just kept eating and workin on my car or on the internet. I really wanna do this with out suboxone becuase subs give me the same side effects as perc. no sex drive, no apetite, tired.. i dont have any with drawl symptoms what so ever. i have a few cravings from time to time.. Im gettin ready to go to taco bell. Check back as i will be adding to this every day. thank you!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: southern girl
Posts: 13
Suggashane - you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight. Stay strong, go to a meeting if you can, and reach out to your Higher Power and ask for help. Wake up each morning and ask your HP for help for the day, and when you go to bed thank Him. Sounds like you are tired of living this way. The best part of this is that you don't have to live this way anymore. You are reaching out for help, that's a great start!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 4
ok well i didnt take a sub yesterday but tonite i had a super craving...jesus christ i wanted a perc so bad... i told the girl that was at my house she had to leave cause my muscles kept getting tight cause thats all that was on my mind.. so i went to my car smoked a ciggerate and took a suboxone. 20 mins later the craving went away and i was fine. Still no with drawl symptoms. Today is the 7th day. I can already see a change in my attitude and iam getting positive support from my friends. They are saying im proud of ya n there happy to be around me now. The girl that im talking to said if i get back on them she is going to stop talking to me. I guess thats what i need. Some consequenses embedded in my brain. Well i cant sleep and it is 7:00 am suboxone make me stay up. Im goin to work on my car. Talk to yall soon.
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