marleyluvsjesus

Hey Fayez! I am new here too. :ghug it seems like everyone on here is really supportive which is GREAT for us newbies.

Fayez

Thanks guys. I'm pretty freaked out by my new change for now. I won't look too much into the future but it scares me a bit.

"Functional" ------I used to love that word until I realized that it didn't describe me.

Sugah

Fayez, when you're new in an AA meeting, it's assumed that you're there because you have a problem drinking. If they ask if there are newcomers present, it's fine then to introduce yourself, but I'd suggest that you listen at your first few meetings. Get a feel for it. Buy a Big Book (some groups will give them to newcomers) and read it. And, if you're not offered same-sex phone numbers, ask for them (and use them). If you hear something during the meeting you don't understand, ask someone afterward. You'll catch on soon.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Pam08

Hey Fayez, I am glad you found an AA meeting, but whew, what a trip it was.
I know with my AA meetings, certain days they have book meetings, 12 and 12 or big book, you go around the room, read if you like..then can talk about what you read, if you like..other days it is a topic picked either by someone who has something they want to discuss or talk about or from the daily book..

The meetings I go to love for the new people to talk, not take up the whole night, but talking and listening i guess is key....I am the one who never talks much, so I have been pushed to talk..so I am doing better now at it..and I like it...You will see how it works after a few meetings...
Did you tell them this was your first meeting?? If not..do so, then some women will most likely give you tel. no's ...that is good, call if you need to talk or have urge to drink. that is why they give you no's..SUPPORT....if you get so you like it,,watch and listen..then pick a sponsor..female for female...that will be the start of recovery..the steps...

I feel so connected and understood in AA..I do not think it cult like..they take the disease of alcoholism very serious and know that even with 20 years of sobriety..they can slip and be back to drunkeness in a moment, it is a life or death situation in reality....

Life can be good sober, I see the serenity and happiness in the people with long term sobriety..I want what they have..and am working hard to get some of that feeling.

Keep us posted on how you are doing..and how the meetings go..we are here for you.:ghug

joinedintime

Fayez, (and other newbies) I guess you can't hear this too much so I'll say it too. You will find a lot of support here. Come here daily - it helps.

You will get differing viewpoints and some will work for you on some days, others on other days.

Sounds like you're already seeing some of the benefits of not drinking. I'm at over 4 months sober now after decades of binge drinking. For the first 3 months I felt like I was sacrificing to do the right thing. No I feel like I'd be sacrificing if I drank.

I don't have cravings to drink or resentment for others ability to drink "normally", but I still come here pretty much daily because I feel it makes me stronger and I like to thinking I provide some help to others as it was provided to me.

Welcome, and great graveyard story, BTW!

sicilia1414

hey faye,

that story on your first AA meeting was hysterical. I am planning on going to my first meeting some time this week and am very nervous. now i am a lot nervous, thanks to you.

CarolD

Hi again Faye...
I certainly admire both your writing style and the
fact you persisted in your objective.
I was right there with you amid the graves stones.
Good for you!

Ok...each meeting has a different "flavor"
the more you attend the easier it is to find one you like.

When I am going to a meeting that I've never
been to....I make a day time check to find the address.

I suggest you call one of the women who gave you
their number and ask for her assistance.

Here is the scoop about types of meetings

Your First AA Meeting<

Hope this helps...

katebear

Hi Fayez, (and everyone else!) this is my first post. I am a writer and musician too, and unfortunately the perfect way to relax for me was to have a beer (or 6) and 'write' music or lyrics. Never did get much done. It was the feeling I was after, I guess.
Anyway, I understand your trepidation about AA. I think they really help a lot of people, but after a few meetings I realized they are not for me. Binge drinking is my big problem, whether it's once a month or every day.
I am now 1 month sober (!) . I only quit because I started getting pains in my liver and it really freaked me out. I hope it is something I can recover from, I get the blood test results tomorrow.
What I want to say is, I think for many sensitive insightful people alcohol is a cloak that allows us to deal with reality. It has come to the point that I will kill myself with alcohol, and it is just not worth it. Waking up after 12 years of drinking is the hardest thing I will have to deal with, but little by little I am starting to feel reborn! Everything I wrote when I was drunk seems fake, and it is only now that I am starting to really get to work! Good luck, and good thoughts to everyone reading this!

btw, I tried the 'disciplined' approach many many times, but I always slipped up. It may work for you, but be careful!

four812

what a story, an awsome story. what a beautiful experience of your first meeting. You are very lucky. and the determinitation that you had was your only hope to persevere and even make a meeting last night. way to go, thanks for the inspiration. my first meeting was not as eventful. way to face your fears of the dark and the graveyard and what not.

that sounds pretty cool to have a meeting next to a graveyard. good idea. like it would help to keep a consciousness of one of the possible outcomes of drinking again.

I'm so happy for you. yes it can feel/be kind've culty. I don't let that worry me, because at least you get to go home and can leave any second you want to! so it's an open door cult/religion thing. but there is another theme that is apparant at AA meetings and that is a sense of community. a community of love and of people who are trying to be "better people" and to live better lives. and there are people who will do so much to help YOU and ME with our recovery, and soon you can help others in some way if you want to.

joinedintime

I definitely relate to what you're saying. Except for I wishhhhhhhh it was only 12 years for me. Never the less, waking up is waking up!

Fayez

A bunch of women there gave me their numbers and said to call them anytime---even just to talk. They were really nice and very welcoming. Here's another thing: I feel like I don't belong there because these women seem to have had tragic things happen to them, where as I haven't really come across it (yet), and haven't hit rock bottom (so I think). They used a term like, "hard bottom", what does that mean? Does that mean rock bottom? It has shown me what alcoholism can do, even if I never experienced it, this would be the road I'd be traveling if I didn't stop... So their stories hit hard.

I have another meeting today.

getr345

Congrats and welcome to the forum.

Lots of good info & support here.

As an author, you will probably at some point soon notice a difference in the quality of your work as a sober person, and I bet when that happens, you will consider that a PRO. Because if you think you write well now, wait until your head is really clear, your talent will be able to truly shine.

Again, welcome.

christin1225

[QUOTE=Fayez;2005406]Hi all,

Faye,
I wish that I had words of wisdom to offer, but I don't. I haven't even figured myself out yet. But, I had to respond to your post after reading your account of the AA meeting. OMG -- laugh! All that I can say (as one who, although not a well-known writer ... oh, okay... only part-time and completely UNPUBLISHED to date) is that no experience is wasted on a writer. I don't know your genre... but you simply have GOT to create a recovery alcoholic character who has to walk (I mean run) through a graveyard to get to the meeting. OMG... I still can't stop laughing!

You have come to a wonderful place. All the best in your recovery.

bumble2008123

Hi Fayez,

Glad you're here. You certainly had a time of it gettiing to your first AA meeting! I've never been to one myself but I hear they are very helpful. As for the term functional drunk, I guess I would have called myself one. I wouldn't now, though. Waking up partially hung over, foggy brain, heartburn.. it all adds up to going through the motions at best.

What seems to work best is just focusing on the immediate. The right now. Right now, I will not drink. If you try to wrap your mind around more it tends to get overwhelming.