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Old 11-29-2008, 06:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Hello To All


Where to start? I have been helping others on pc forums for years, so you would think I would feel at ease doing this!

My name is Brandon and about 5 years ago I had a kidney stone. The doctors gave me a prescription for Vicodin. Well I took the 2 I was supposed to and got real out of it and forgot I took 2 and took 2 more. All of a sudden I was struck with sooo much energy I cleaned the house (wife was happy) and stayed up for a whole day. This is where my addiction started.

About 3 years ago my doc would no longer prescribe me the pills so I started hospital jumping (I think that is what you call it) and I got pretty good at it.(stuck pins in my fingers to fake blood in my urine which show's a kidney stone etc.)

Now 4 years later I just moved to Indiana and have visited 4 hospitals about 4 or 5 times each. I am addicted to the energy they give me. I really dont get "high" off of them but get tons of energy. After reading a little bit it seems I dont take as many as one can. I usually take 4 or 5 7.5's a day. 3 at once and another 2 later in the day.
I find coming off of them though feels the same as others have expressed. Feels like getting hit by a truck, no energy depressed and agitated. My wife is getting fed up with it (as she should) I wish I knew what to do. My pride gets in the way of going to rehab, I also suffer from Panic Disorder and take 2 Mg's of Klonopin a day for almost 10 years. (have not abused those) and the Vicodin took care of the panic attacks as well. Have been off of them for 2 days now and just feel like crud. Have exhausted hospitals (which is good) just afraid I will start going to different dentists now and telling them my tooth hurts. I told my wife to hide the keys so I wont, but I have to go to work. She says I get really angry when she wont give me the keys (as she knows what I am up to).

Sorry for the long post but it feels good to tell someone (even if it is online) this story as I have not told anyone ever before (except the wife) I know it is not good for my kids to see me lying around when I come off the pills.
SO my question is what can or should I do?

Edit: I hope this in the right forum.. As I now see the NA forum =(
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Old 11-29-2008, 06:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
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hey brandon..welcome
well first of all you recognize there is a problem..that's always the first step...good for you!
my addiction was alcohol so i'm not that familiar with the vicodin addiction but i would start by consulting with a dr and being honest with him/her...truly honest about the addiction...don't be ashamed or embarrassed...they've heard just about everything. it sounds like you have a supportive wife who is just fed up...got me a very supportive husband of 20 yrs but he was ready to walk out when my addiction was at it's worst....that's called self-preservation their part!
all can say is that regardless of whether it's pills or alcohol...there IS help for you!! please seek it out...for YOU! you are worth it! you don't have to live like this!
I wish you peace! You are in my prayers, keep coming back...let us know how you are doing!

Stick around for awhile..i'm sure some others with more insight will reply to your messg...Hang in there!!

Lisa

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Old 11-29-2008, 06:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
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lug, welcome to the nuts...

just kid'n

welcome to the family!

might wanna see a good doc, and not the dr. kildare type...

spill it all, detox, and find a recovery program that works for you...

not what you want, one that works...

strike while the fire is hot!

sounds like you want it!

good wishes lug...

rz
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Old 11-29-2008, 06:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks lisa_t..
I am trying to talk myself into it (rehab) As well is the wife. Your right about the self preservation part. For her and my kids. I will be here every day from now on. I just want my life back the way it was before the drugs. Not much to ask for but seems like a long road yet I am ready to travel it
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Old 11-29-2008, 07:08 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi Lugnut,

Welcome!

You have come to a great place for support and information.

I'm glad that you recognize you have a problem. As others have said, it's best to talk to your dr about getting off the pills. I hope you keep reading and posting.
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Old 11-29-2008, 07:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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you are very welcome...and welcome here..most of us have seen it, heard it or done it!! it sounds like you really want this and that is in my opinion half the battle...you have to know you are worth it and you have to want it more than anything else! i had to be just as selfish with my recovery as i was when i was drinking...funny thing is...the family doesn't mind this kind of selfishness
hang in...keep reading....keep posting...help is here...you can't get your old life back..that would be just silly...but you can have a new amazing sober life!!! one more thing...don't try to see the future...keep in the minute..keep it in the hour..whatever it takes!! KEEP IT SIMPLE!!!
big hugs
Lisa
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