Howdy Folks
 

Just stopping by to say hi, I know it's been a while. I still haven't attained any meaningful period of sobriety unfortunately. I did go to a meeting last night, and I also have talked to a counselor who thinks I should do a week long inpatient rehab. For the first time in my life I am seriously considering it. I went to my regular doctor too and told him about my drinking. And he said...this is funny...that I'm not an alcoholic, I am just bored. He said he doesn't think I am an alcoholic because I told him I work from home and never, ever drink before 6 p.m. He said "real" alcoholics have to drink first thing in the morning. I think I will go with what the addiction counselor had to say.

Wish I could tell you all I've been sober for xx many days but I haven't gotten there yet. And lately I've done really, really dumb things while under the influence. It's like the disease isn't even trying to trick me into thinking I am okay anymore. For those of you who are maintaining sobriety, please keep up the good work and if you feel tempted, please remember that this is sheer hell, and you don't want to go back to where I am at now. Not that I am preaching of course, just trying to help by serving as an example of why people quit drinking in the first place. I wake up more often than not feeling like hell and mortified by something I have said or done the night before.

Anyway I hope you all are well and that you guys have a great Holiday tomorrow.
FD

Good to see you again FD.

Inpatient rehab may be a great thing right now for you. It will put you in a safe environment away from temptation. Please consider it.

You, too, can have a life of freedom from the slavery of alcohol addiction. I can feel the pain in your post because I was there less than 2 months ago, but today I am free. This can be true for you also.

Please don't give up on the sober life that you deserve.

Also, your counselor seems to not have a clue about what alcoholism is. A lot of alcoholics never drank in the morning. Whether or not you drank in the morning doesn't determine whether you have alcoholism or not.

It doesn't matter what time of day you start drinking, if you have one drink and then lose control and can't stop and crave more, then this is a sign.

Please consider the inpatient rehab. It would be good to have that medical care while you detox and be in a safe environment to get a head start on your recovery journey.

Thank you. I am kind of scared to go, but I am finding it nearly impossible to quit drinking for any measurable length of time,partly because my husband drinks too. For me, personally, it is very hard to quit drinking when the fridge is stocked with booze though I do know other people have done it. That's why I agree that the inpatient treatment would be good, plus I found a place that let's you make payments so I don't have to worry about paying for it all up front.

Sounds like a great opportunity.

This can be your gift to yourself this year. It will be so worth it.

I know the fear about going to inpatient. Last year, in 2007 I went inpatient for a short while and I was so scared. But it turned out to be a really good experience for me.

As you get more and more sober days behind you, your brain and thinking starts to clear.

It will get easier down the road as you stay sober.

I know you can do it! I am here pulling for you always! :)

I lurk around here a lot and I know you have had a time of it too. You have been in my thoughts. I think accountability is important and what I like about this site is we can admit to our failings and get support. I read people's posts all the time and read the advice they get and I don't have a clue why we continue to do things that make us feel bad. I am almost afraid of the answers at this point. I wish you luck in your journey towards sobriety and I thank you for your thoughts.

Hi its good to see you again. I also think inpatient might be good, if nothing else it would give you some sober days which is a good start. Keep reaching out, you will get there.

Thank you Felly, it is good to see you too. I always read about people who are able to sober up with the help of AA and no inpatient, and I probably could if there wasn't liquor in the house. I have a very hard time overcoming that initial temptation. It's like I just get the thought that I want to drink and it's RIGHT THERE. So I am hoping some inpatient treatment might help with that and then follow it up with AA. You have to go to intensive outpatient as part of the program. We'll see how it goes! And congrats on your sober time.

For anyone who is interested, we have a new pup that I added to the photo album. I tried to post it in here but apparently the file size is too big and I'm not technical enough to get it the right size. About four months after Max passed away we decided we needed the pitter patter of little feet around the house again, we just missed the big lug so much. We still miss him, but we are really enjoying Bud. So, check him out if you like dogs!

Well congratulations on the new pup. Hope and I both have pups.

As far as giving up alcohol while your spouse still stocks the fridge with it - I couldn't do it. I know I couldn't do it. Is there a reason he MUST have alcohol in the fridge any ways? Have you talked with him about it? Even if you go in to rehab FD, you will return to this situation. I think, in my opinion, you need to nip in the bud now.

Glad you came on and posted and really glad you open my eyes as to the reason I quit in the first place. Good luck and let us know how its going.

Thanks Horselover! We are now a four dog household again *sigh*

I am telling you, it is hell. The problem is he is an alcoholic too though he's not as bad as me. I honestly have considered moving out for a while, sometimes I think that is the only way I will sober up, but I don't want to leave my husband either. It's a catch 22.

Yeah I am glad that my reminder helped, if it's not the physical symptoms (headache, puking, weird bruises, fatigue) then the emotional ones (self hatred, embarassment, shame, confusion, etc) should be enough of a deterrent. And that's not even getting into the financial aspect of it! I don't why I don't listen to my own words of wisdom, I really think a part of me wants to self destruct and that scares me.

hey fd...hang in there...you can do this! i appreciate your honesty and for me that is where this journey started, being honest with myself! i think you are on the right path and maybe rehab is what you need....just know my thoughts & prayers are with you! you DO deserve to live a life without alcohol!!! you ARE worth it!
wishing you peace!
Lisa :)