New Here/Slipped-Advice/Support Wanted
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 7
New Here/Slipped-Advice/Support Wanted
Am introducing myself and telling you I slipped after nearly 60 days. A yr ago I tossed away over 20 yrs sobriety!!
This last yr I have been able to get numerous 14 days and this last one of 50 something.
As I typed that last sentence, I felt encouraged by the numerous different periods of abstience BUT not compared to the my former long term sobriety.
At this moment I am confused....I am on day 2 AGAIN!
Any advice/support?
Thank You
(I also posted in the womens forum)
This last yr I have been able to get numerous 14 days and this last one of 50 something.
As I typed that last sentence, I felt encouraged by the numerous different periods of abstience BUT not compared to the my former long term sobriety.
At this moment I am confused....I am on day 2 AGAIN!
Any advice/support?
Thank You
(I also posted in the womens forum)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Freedom1990 
What were you doing that kept you sober for 20 years?
In last 4 yrs had a series of bad things happen that lead to my relapse..."I say I got broken". I went to rehab this yr and thought I was back on track????
The start of my physical relapse was 1 atavan for anxiety, a few 30-day prescriptions for klonopin followed, then i started self-medicating for anxiety/depression w/ the wine bottle.
I now know that benzos is solid alcohol. Alcohol is my drug of choice. No benzo use for 60 days.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I got drunk after 7 years sober.....it lasted 8 years.
I think the question what did you do before to stay sober is very very important.
My treatemnet center and my sponsor after that put great emphasis on remembering what worked before ... that I did have some ESH for myself that I knew could work for me.
I have had to look at what didn't work, but you know, there was alot that I did right and so I had something to build on.
The hardest part for me was going back to meetings. But I did and I found love and support and a lot more people than I remembered who had drank after many many years clean and sober.
The second step was critical for me...coming to believe that I could be sober...I knew I was alchoholic and my life unmangable...i was just so sure sobreity could never happen for me.....I have 15 months now...sure all my friends from before have 24..25 years! but i don't feel less than anymore. we are fellow travelors on the path.
It can happen :ghug3
I think the question what did you do before to stay sober is very very important.
My treatemnet center and my sponsor after that put great emphasis on remembering what worked before ... that I did have some ESH for myself that I knew could work for me.
I have had to look at what didn't work, but you know, there was alot that I did right and so I had something to build on.
The hardest part for me was going back to meetings. But I did and I found love and support and a lot more people than I remembered who had drank after many many years clean and sober.
The second step was critical for me...coming to believe that I could be sober...I knew I was alchoholic and my life unmangable...i was just so sure sobreity could never happen for me.....I have 15 months now...sure all my friends from before have 24..25 years! but i don't feel less than anymore. we are fellow travelors on the path.
It can happen :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 413
Glad you're here! And I'm glad you made it back.
I couldn't get sober and stay sober without support. My support has been in AA and on these forums. I hope that you can find the support you need.
Keep posting and know that you're not alone :ghug2
I couldn't get sober and stay sober without support. My support has been in AA and on these forums. I hope that you can find the support you need.
Keep posting and know that you're not alone :ghug2
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Wow - its just incredible! 20 years is unbelievable to me and I would say you definitely had the tools to do it for that long. I would say to try and dig those up again and to deeply investigate why you fell off after that long period of sobriety. There had to be a huge warning sign or maybe even many and I would say some deep introspection is needed. Congratulations on reaching out. Congratulations on 20 years sobriety. Congratulations on NOT giving up! Don't ever give up and know you are a lesson to us all. I have been having many "fond" memories of life back when and I am only 6 months into this. It helps to see that we are never safe and when we do slip its difficult, but not impossible, to get back up. Thanks again for joining SR and posting. I'll be looking to read more from you in the future.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 164
Support..support...support! Welcome we are glad you are here! I've found that the key for me to staying sober is the support of aa, my sponsor and the people around me that love & care about me and finding this forum has helped me tremendously. I live in a very rural area and don't get to as many meetings as I would like but I find that also leads me to make excuses too. I have to be diligent in my sobriety! I would go to any lengths to get a drink, well not just one but I need to go to any length to stay sober and I do. I take my sobriety very seriously and try very hard to not take it for granted...for me it IS life or death. Thanks for listening and keep coming back, I look forward to hearing from you as you continue your journey! In Love & Peace! Lisa 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I think some key things have been mentioned here already and you have touched on some things I can identify with. I'll try to address them one at a time.
I'm glad you see the correlation with the benzos. I am always 100% honest with my medical providers.
My two daughters are now grown, with my 20 year old still living at home with me. When my 20 year old was 15, we went through a really difficult period that eventually resulted in her running away, becoming a ward of the state, and she was out of the home and in the system for 16 months.
I had no idea how much I had completely immersed my identity in being a mother and lost sense of self until that had happened. Fortunately I had stayed active in AA over the years (I had originally sobered up in 1986, had a terrifying 2 month relapse in 1990, got clean/sober again in August of that year) and my sponsor said I needed to plunge into my recovery like I had never done before and get back on track with my own recovery, or I'd go right back to pieces when my daughter came home.
I don't care how much time I have sober. AA is at the heart of my sobriety. I still need meetings, I still have a sponsor, and I sponsor others.
I have to put my recovery first and foremost or I am doomed to fail eventually.
You have not lost those 20 years. No one can take those away from you, my dear!
Forgive yourself. Immerse yourself in your recovery and reach out for help! :ghug
I'm glad you see the correlation with the benzos. I am always 100% honest with my medical providers.
My two daughters are now grown, with my 20 year old still living at home with me. When my 20 year old was 15, we went through a really difficult period that eventually resulted in her running away, becoming a ward of the state, and she was out of the home and in the system for 16 months.
I had no idea how much I had completely immersed my identity in being a mother and lost sense of self until that had happened. Fortunately I had stayed active in AA over the years (I had originally sobered up in 1986, had a terrifying 2 month relapse in 1990, got clean/sober again in August of that year) and my sponsor said I needed to plunge into my recovery like I had never done before and get back on track with my own recovery, or I'd go right back to pieces when my daughter came home.
I don't care how much time I have sober. AA is at the heart of my sobriety. I still need meetings, I still have a sponsor, and I sponsor others.
I have to put my recovery first and foremost or I am doomed to fail eventually.
You have not lost those 20 years. No one can take those away from you, my dear!
Forgive yourself. Immerse yourself in your recovery and reach out for help! :ghug
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