dionysianstupor

How do you deal with friends who were your drinking buddies, but you are also connected to them on another level? For instance, a couple of my drinking buddies are also my "philosophy buddies," and have been very supportive mentors/companions on my intellectual/creative journey...thus, I would be incredibly sad if I had to avoid them because of quitting drinking...art, philosophy and writing are things that I am passionate about (and also wish to share with others...I have discovered that having a support system helps me to grow as an artist). However, these friends of mine drink a lot! I guess I just have to figure out how to be comfortable enough in my own skin and to be secure enough with my sobriety so that I don't feel like I have to drink around them to feel accepted. Any suggestions on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated though...

I guess this is kind of like business situations where people are drinking...however, my "business" domain isn't corporate as I am on the path to becoming a professional artist and academic...thus, my "business" connections are also highly personal...

Pinkcuda

Today we burried an old friend that I had separated from through my sobriety. I hadn't seen him or spoke with him in almost 5 years.
Do I regret my decision to separate myself from my friends? You bet your ass I do!
James Romero | coloradoan.com | The Coloradoan,

Anna

Hi,

I could not be around alcohol in the early days of my recovery. In fact, it was quite a long time before I was comfortable being around people who were drinking.

There are a lot of very difficult choices to make in early sobniety. Maybe you could meet these friends in a coffee shop setting and that would work for you.

tommyk

Maintain contact by phone, email, morning meetings.

Activities that do not involve alcohol.

No, changing YOUR OWN lifestyle isn't easy, it's just necessary.

maltipoobear

I have been struggling with this same issue for the past few weeks. Do your friends know that you are trying to abstain? I think that might make a difference. Only my closest friends know about my issues with alcohol. They have agreed to "not drink around me". What I have discovered is they 1.) I will be conveniently left out of the get togethers where alcohol is involved (i.e. most get togethers, at least in the evenings) or 2.) Everyone will get their buzz on before I arrive so that they can then swich to N/A beverages.

I suppose I should be thankful for these friends and their willingness to "support" me but the whole situation is extremely uncomfortable. AA tells us to "avoid old playgrounds and old playmates". I find myself wanting to completely pull away from these friends, at least for now. The problem is that my husband really likes these guys and my children are friends with their children. We have spent many an evening over good food and good wine together, not to mention traveling and week long summer excrussions to the beach where drinking is involved. I really don't know what to do at this point. Have you told these friends about your problems? What do they think?

tommyk

In the beginning I told my friends.

They didn't even begin to understand.

They said, "Oh you can have a few, we'll watch out for you...", and dumb stuff like that.

Basically encouraged me to drink like a normal person.