Vacation threw me a curve, holidays next
Beginning to Live again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: austin, TX
Posts: 15
Vacation threw me a curve, holidays next
Last weekend I went on vacation and had lots of time alone. It seemed there was a bar every place I turned around and all the people were smiling and seemed happy. I started thinking, just one drink... I'm on vacation. I can probably handle having just one. No one will know. I don't really have anything I have to do all day. blah, blah, blah. I actually went in three bars/restaurants and sat down. But, thankfully, when I started thinking about what I wanted to order I couldn't come up with a drink that was worthy of endangering my sobriety.
I was surprised that this happened. On a daily basis I do great!! I haven't had many situations in my daily life that trigger my wanting to have a drink so I had it in my head that I pretty much had it beat. So the very strong urge to get a drink and the strong (and rational at the time) justification that I had for just one drink was shocking. That was as close to being in the middle of the disease as what I had experienced since quitting 3 months ago.
I realize that the situation triggered my old habits. Vacation, all alone, easy access to a drink, strangers having a great time drinking.... Praise God that my sane self worked through the situation and stayed strong. Now I realize I should think through these situations ahead of time and have a plan for dealing with them from now on.
I can see that the Holidays will present the same type of situation. I have celebrated Christmas with alcohol for 35 years. I realize now that I need to get a plan for my first one without alcohol.
Anyone have good suggestions for dealing with the holidays for a newbie? I don't even know what types of things to watch out for.
I was surprised that this happened. On a daily basis I do great!! I haven't had many situations in my daily life that trigger my wanting to have a drink so I had it in my head that I pretty much had it beat. So the very strong urge to get a drink and the strong (and rational at the time) justification that I had for just one drink was shocking. That was as close to being in the middle of the disease as what I had experienced since quitting 3 months ago.
I realize that the situation triggered my old habits. Vacation, all alone, easy access to a drink, strangers having a great time drinking.... Praise God that my sane self worked through the situation and stayed strong. Now I realize I should think through these situations ahead of time and have a plan for dealing with them from now on.
I can see that the Holidays will present the same type of situation. I have celebrated Christmas with alcohol for 35 years. I realize now that I need to get a plan for my first one without alcohol.
Anyone have good suggestions for dealing with the holidays for a newbie? I don't even know what types of things to watch out for.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: London UK
Posts: 33
Hi there,
Firstly I want to say well done for fighting the urge to drink, I completely understand how hard that must have been, being alone and in a place that you would normally associate with alcohol and letting your hair down.
As far as the holiday season is concerned I think that you might be suprised at how much of a good time you can have without alcohol. I am in the same boat and have 30 days under my belt now and i have been worrying about the coming festivities.
I went home to see my folks last weekend and spent the whole time sober with them, we even all went out for dinner, which before was usually acompanied with lot's of alcohol, and I had a really nice time not drinking.
I kind of treated this as a little tester to see how I would cope, and it went well.
Just try to keep the thoughts of how much of a nice time you will have sober, ie. not waking up with a hangover on christmas day, and being able to enjoy the festivities without it ending up in an alcoholic stupor.
good luck to you, and carry on the good work.
Firstly I want to say well done for fighting the urge to drink, I completely understand how hard that must have been, being alone and in a place that you would normally associate with alcohol and letting your hair down.
As far as the holiday season is concerned I think that you might be suprised at how much of a good time you can have without alcohol. I am in the same boat and have 30 days under my belt now and i have been worrying about the coming festivities.
I went home to see my folks last weekend and spent the whole time sober with them, we even all went out for dinner, which before was usually acompanied with lot's of alcohol, and I had a really nice time not drinking.
I kind of treated this as a little tester to see how I would cope, and it went well.
Just try to keep the thoughts of how much of a nice time you will have sober, ie. not waking up with a hangover on christmas day, and being able to enjoy the festivities without it ending up in an alcoholic stupor.
good luck to you, and carry on the good work.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi,
It's good that you are recognizing a potential problem with the upcoming Holidays.
My suggestion would be to shake up your normal traditions and routines. By doing that, the habit of drinking might be less obvious to you. I really couldn't be around people who were drinking when I was in early recovery and I learned that the hard way. So, be aware and be prepared.
It's good that you are recognizing a potential problem with the upcoming Holidays.
My suggestion would be to shake up your normal traditions and routines. By doing that, the habit of drinking might be less obvious to you. I really couldn't be around people who were drinking when I was in early recovery and I learned that the hard way. So, be aware and be prepared.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
OK...I can only tell you what I did, and it worked for me!
If you aren't going to AA meetings, I would highly recommend it. I know there are many people who manage to stay sober using other methods; but, other than here at SR, I don't personally know anyone who has.
I started going to AA meetings right from the beginning...at least one a day, sometimes two and three a day, especially on the weekends.
My summer vacations were spent at the shore from the year I turned 17, and the shore was a big part of my "fun drinking". I didn't trust myself to spend any time at the shore until I had two solid years of continuous sobriety. Even then, my daughter went with me, and I attended a couple of AA meetings during the week.
I quit drinking just a week before Thanksgiving in 1979. So, I also had the holidays to look forward to...I had to have a plan for getting through the season of partying without drinking. I invited AA friends to have Thanksgiving Dinner with me and my family...you'd be surprised how many folks no longer have families to spend holidays with. For this reason, there are usually a few AA groups in each area that actually serve holiday meals...and, every major holiday, there are 24 hour marathon meetings (called Alca-thons) where people can drop in at any time of the day or evening for a cup of coffee and AA fellowship.
Christmas was always very special in my home...in spite of all the drinking. But, things were now very different...separated from my husband of 25 years, two sons on their own, only my daughter and me in a four room apartment. So, I again invited AA friends for a Tree Trimming party. We ate, played party games, and actually got the tree trimmed, too. I did the same for the Super Bowl for quite a few years. There are always several AA groups in every area having New Year's Parties.
As you can see, the holiday season was pretty busy...and no drinking. Just lots of friends, family, food, and fun. But, how to deal with other occasions where alcohol would probably be available...like weddings, office parties, bowling banquets? If it was something I absolutely had to attend, I always took my own car, so I had a way to leave if it became too uncomfortable...and, a phone number of AA sponsor or friend to call if there was a need for moral support.
As the years of sobriety accumulated, I became more and more comfortable and confident with myself. To paraphrase one of the AA promises, I would intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle me.
If you aren't going to AA meetings, I would highly recommend it. I know there are many people who manage to stay sober using other methods; but, other than here at SR, I don't personally know anyone who has.
I started going to AA meetings right from the beginning...at least one a day, sometimes two and three a day, especially on the weekends.
My summer vacations were spent at the shore from the year I turned 17, and the shore was a big part of my "fun drinking". I didn't trust myself to spend any time at the shore until I had two solid years of continuous sobriety. Even then, my daughter went with me, and I attended a couple of AA meetings during the week.
I quit drinking just a week before Thanksgiving in 1979. So, I also had the holidays to look forward to...I had to have a plan for getting through the season of partying without drinking. I invited AA friends to have Thanksgiving Dinner with me and my family...you'd be surprised how many folks no longer have families to spend holidays with. For this reason, there are usually a few AA groups in each area that actually serve holiday meals...and, every major holiday, there are 24 hour marathon meetings (called Alca-thons) where people can drop in at any time of the day or evening for a cup of coffee and AA fellowship.
Christmas was always very special in my home...in spite of all the drinking. But, things were now very different...separated from my husband of 25 years, two sons on their own, only my daughter and me in a four room apartment. So, I again invited AA friends for a Tree Trimming party. We ate, played party games, and actually got the tree trimmed, too. I did the same for the Super Bowl for quite a few years. There are always several AA groups in every area having New Year's Parties.
As you can see, the holiday season was pretty busy...and no drinking. Just lots of friends, family, food, and fun. But, how to deal with other occasions where alcohol would probably be available...like weddings, office parties, bowling banquets? If it was something I absolutely had to attend, I always took my own car, so I had a way to leave if it became too uncomfortable...and, a phone number of AA sponsor or friend to call if there was a need for moral support.
As the years of sobriety accumulated, I became more and more comfortable and confident with myself. To paraphrase one of the AA promises, I would intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle me.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Did I neglect to tell you how well you did making it through vacation without giving in to the stinkin' thinkin'? Sorry about that...and, yes, you did well. But, you said it yourself:
Of course, you can only live one day at a time. But, it doesn't hurt to plan ahead, so you don't wind up with nothing to occupy your time and too much time to think. I'm sure you spent a lot of time drinking, or planning your next activity (which no doubt included drinking). Having ways to fill that alcoholic void is just being smart and staying one step ahead of the disease.
That was as close to being in the middle of the disease as what I had experienced since quitting 3 months ago.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to SR happy!
I will have 3 months soon. I went on a mini vacation with family at 4 weeks sober. My family drinks at get togethers. My children and my sis were the only ones that knew I had quit drinking. It turned out that there was very little drinking the whole visit. Most people who drink are more concerned with their own personal alcohol intake and don't notice what or if others are drinking as much.
I also had my own beverages planned. I still do that if I am with a group that drinks. I keep something non-alcoholic in my hand. People won't ask if you need a drink if they see something in your hand.
During my vacation, I stayed busy with the children/teenagers. If there are children in your holiday plans, maybe you can help organize card games or board games. If you can get silly with a group of kids, you will have a blast!
Congratulations on your sobriety!
I will have 3 months soon. I went on a mini vacation with family at 4 weeks sober. My family drinks at get togethers. My children and my sis were the only ones that knew I had quit drinking. It turned out that there was very little drinking the whole visit. Most people who drink are more concerned with their own personal alcohol intake and don't notice what or if others are drinking as much.
I also had my own beverages planned. I still do that if I am with a group that drinks. I keep something non-alcoholic in my hand. People won't ask if you need a drink if they see something in your hand.
During my vacation, I stayed busy with the children/teenagers. If there are children in your holiday plans, maybe you can help organize card games or board games. If you can get silly with a group of kids, you will have a blast!
Congratulations on your sobriety!
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Welcome to SR, happy! I'll be interested to read replies to your thread, as this will be my first sober holiday season in about 30 years, too.
A HUGE congrats to you for getting through your vacation. If you did that, you probably already have a good idea on how to handle the holidays.
I appreciated it when you said there wasn't a drink worth ordering to compromise your sobriety. That, is awesome.
A HUGE congrats to you for getting through your vacation. If you did that, you probably already have a good idea on how to handle the holidays.
I appreciated it when you said there wasn't a drink worth ordering to compromise your sobriety. That, is awesome.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Good to know you came home sober...
Certainly planning for a sober time is vital.
That's why I will stay committed to my AA group.
New members will be coming in meetings ...
asking for assistance.
We have parties and dinners scheduled.
My non drinking family expects and enjoys my company.
Church volunteers are needed
It's time to share with my favorite charity.
Absolutely...I will stay sober for my responsibilities
and for my personal joy....
Certainly planning for a sober time is vital.
That's why I will stay committed to my AA group.
New members will be coming in meetings ...
asking for assistance.
We have parties and dinners scheduled.
My non drinking family expects and enjoys my company.
Church volunteers are needed
It's time to share with my favorite charity.
Absolutely...I will stay sober for my responsibilities
and for my personal joy....
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