David69

Good Morning Freedom,

How are you doing today? I was poking around and thought I would just ping you and see how things are going on day 4 with you. Hoping all is good....take care.

Tazman53

Hey freedom just to share a bit of my experience on the other half. I spent the last 10 years of my drinking promising to cut back or stop, always saying I'm sorry and I won't do that again, how she put up with me as long as she did I have no idea, who the heck wants to live with and try and love a drunk liar!!!!

Anyhow she had reached her breaking point at the same time I had, she told me her and the kids were leaving at the end of the month, they already had a place to go. Well I very soon realized that I had to stop drinking or die and after getting myself set up to go into detox I told her I was going into detox thinking "Well that will keep her happy" HAH!!!! All she said was with a scornful look was "We'll see!"

Well I got home from detox and she still had the same attitude, the first night I was home from detox I headed out for my AA meeting..... she looked a bit surprised but that was it. Well after about a week of going to meetings every night and me staying sober she told me her and the kids were going to hold off on leaving for a bit just to see how I was going to do.

Well after 15 years of torturing her with my drinking she started to kind of like the new sober me and even though she maintained a "We'll see" attitude we started to get along better. Well here it is over 2 years later, I am still sober, I still go to AA meetings but no where near as many as I did for the first 4-5 months I was sober.

Well I am happy, my wife and family is happy and my marriage is sound again. I learned that actions speak far louder then words, she learned that when my lips were moving I was lying, but if I was doing something (Staying sober) it was undeniable fact!

Give her time, give your self time, do not expect 10 years of sobriety by staying sober a week, just take things one day at a time and remember.... Time takes Time!

Freedom125

Hey Guys! I'm genuinely overwhelmed by your interest. Great to hear your stories about being on the same path.

FlutteringWest: Great to read your story. Well done on 16 days. Yes, we certainly sound alike in our drinking ways. I know binging goes on everywhere but it's an epidemic/way of life in Britain for so many. littlefish: thanks for the great practical advice. I will definitely get the bloods done.
Tazman53: I loved reading your back from the brink story. Just wonderful that you brought it all back together and so inspiring. David: day 9 right? Excellent.

So, been a tougher one today. First big challenge. Staying on my own in a hotel. Big argument before leaving. Football on TV. Full stocked minibar. One or two won't harm right. Who'll know? And then it hit me. Probably dawned on millions before me but 1 or 2 doesn't work. Not because I'd have gone looking for more (though I may have, probably not tonight though, who knows). No, 1 or 2 are dangerous because it makes me think I can actually handle alcohol. Hey, look at me, 1 or 2 and then I stop. Drink is not a problem for me. But it is. And then next time I'm in the pub, there's no ruch to be anywhere, and...carnage. Can't happen if you don't drink. So I didn't. Instead I watched the football sober and just sat with all the feelings of stress that would normally make me drink.

Then I logged on here and I read all your words and even the slightest feeling of still wanting a drink just evaporated anyway. It works.

So, day 4 done. Thanks and keep going everyone!

David69

That is great that you held fast to your goals. I would imagine it is rough being on your own and stressed! I am sure the argument before you left only complicated the situation but you made the RIGHT choice. Good for you!! Just keep coming here and reading what you have wrote/received so far when things get rough.....it really helped me out through those rough patches. 4 days already under the belt.....that is a hell of a good start so please keep it up!!! Keep us posted......things can only get better with time and efforts. Take care!

David69

You going on day 5 now!! How are things holding up for you? Hope all is well.

Freedom125

Hi David, thanks for the message. Yep, just coming to the end of Day5. Had a big work meeting today followed by drinks reception, dinner with wine and then chatting in the bar. I survived it all on fizzy water and am now back in the hotel room. OK, the minibar is still here but I won that battle last night.

You know, the more I think about it the more I think our exchange about alcohol being a part of the real world that we have to live alongside is so true. The stuff, and opportunities to enjoy it, are just everywhere.

Anyway, feeling great. Hope you are too after making it to double figures!!

David69

That is great news! I still totally agree with you despite what a handleful of others might have said here. The bottom line is there is literally NO WAY to avoid it. While you don't have to go buy water or soda from a liquor store, you still face the opportunity to drink at every turn. Your comments were spot on! Going to dinner after meetings, or just customer/client interfacing will most likely involve some area where wine, beer, liquor are being served. It is just a fact of life and in order to live life you cannot place yourself in a hole!

I am glad you made it through the trial. I think your thought processes right now are right and you are doing great. Good luck with your continued success.

David69

Good morning Freedom. So what is it today??? 7 days down? That is a major accomplishment for anyone! Hope all is well and you and yours are enjoying NY.

David69

Hey there Freedom....how goes life? Have not heard from you in a bit so I thought I would check in. How was/is the NY trip? Hope all is well.

Freedom125

Hey there, I just got back today. It's an awesome city (I thought London had alot of shops!!) Anyway, did all the sights, ate some great food and finished up watching Madame Butterfly in the Met on Tuesday night. Brilliant.

Perhaps more importantly, I survived no end of opportunities to indulge and have therefore made it to the end of day 14. Only just, I have to say, because this evening has been one hell of a struggle. But I made it and tomorrow is a new day.

David69

Congrats on day 14 and welcome back Freedom!

David69

How's my mirror image doing today? (I say that is mere jest given our almost duplicate situations)

It is ironic at best but still somewhat comical. Hope all is well with you today and you are staying strong. I am up late tonight watching TV and recovering from my earlier food coma! Enjoy the rest of your weekend...
Cheers,

Freedom125

Hey there, been away from proper internet access for a few days so good to be back! Ha ha, mirror image, I like that, irony indeed. Had a great day on Saturday and a crappy one yesterday. But didn't celebrate or drown my sorrows so hanging in there. Could murder a cold one right now but managing to enjoy some fizzy water with lime squeezed in it instead. You must be on 3 weeks now?

David69

Figured you would see the irony in that! I have had a couple of those rough days lately as well....glad to hear you pushed through it. I have been doing the ginger ale or cream soda thing lately....my liver enjoys it.

Yep, 3 weeks! That means you are just over 2 right?

Freedom125

Hang in there man. I'm also on the ginger ale and my body is also thanking me for it. The current period is the hardest for me so far because I'm in that "couple of drinks won't harm" mindset. Need to keep reminding myself of the emotional and physical damage that inevitably results. Anyway, well done on 3 weeks! That's fantastic. I'll be there in a couple of days.

David69

Oh yeah....I am sticking with it, not much of choice since I am committed to staying clean. I have thought about that "couple won't hurt" idea this past week.....I just know with a couple always comes a couple more for me. I remember years ago thinking why can't I just control it better? I know that is not me.....I am an all or nothing type person. Why stop at one or two....let me see if I can put the whole bottle to rest! Nope, I know better now. At least I can stop after one or two glasses of ginger ale.

Well, congrats on the fast approaching 3 week mark for you. Glad to see you still around and going strong.

David69

Hello Freedom....how have you been doing? I am sitting on the cusp of my first month!!! You are almost there as well correct? Have not heard from you in a few days but I am assuming you are like me right now......focused on other things so your postings have trailed off a bit (as with me). With the holidays fast approaching my free time is becoming less and less.....as well as my free money! lol
Let me know how you're doing when you have a brief chance.
Take care,

David69

How things going? I am on tonight simply cause I have to work the holidays.....not that you have these in the UK. Thanksgiving is ours.....but I still have to work it. Some poor sap has to be on so why not me. Hope everything is going good with you and your trek. Give us an update when you can....regardless of how you are doing. Is the home life getting any more stable?

Talk to you later "mirror". lol