BreakFree

Good Morning! :)

I know it's not the best name of a new thread, but starting a new thread with the name "Class of July" scared me! I don't want any further trouble...I just want to be me. Please feel free to come to my place to love, encourage and laugh with one another. My place is your place. We can always change the name later...afterall, what's in a name...it's the people who count! :)

Day 9! WHOO-HOO! :) SO cool...:)

I am really, really exhausted. I can't tell you the last time I got a good night's sleep. I keep telling myself...this too shall pass...but it's getting really hard because my head feels like it's going to explode.

It's time to get rid of another bad habit and add a good one this week...I will begin tomorrow...still trying to think about what it's going to be. I think it will be cutting back on coffee and focusing on the water and vitamins. Last week I tried to do the water and vitamins, but it was too much.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend and look forward to hearing all about it when you return. Let's move on and keep doing what we do best...

Talk to you soon! :)

Pelican

Congratulations on 9 days!

BreakFree

Thanks Pelican!

lostbutterfly

I'm roundabout 9/10 days. I've lost count, I've been here so many times!!

BreakFree

I'm sitting here drinking my coffee trying to figure out what habits I want to work on next week...gosh it's so hard keeping it real. I want to do so much, but I know that if I form too many expectations, I am only setting myself up to fail and if I do, fail that is, I will feel frustrated and defeated...which is partly what drove me to drinking in the first place. That and boredom and isolation. I try not be to "all or nothing" or a "perfectionist", but it is really hard. The word "perfectionist" has always been so funny to me. It sounds like a positive word, but it has a negative reputation! LOL What perfectionism does to me is keep me from seeing and feeling good about the what I do accomplish and focus on that which I don't. I am a recovering perfectionist among many other things! LOL

So last night, as I was struggling to fall asleep (AGAIN), I was sharing with my husband how good I feel. What I've realized with not drinking is that you get dropped right back to where you were before you started drinking to escape. The problems are still here, ready and waiting for me to do something constructive about them. What is different is my ability to deal with them. Alcohol just made everything SO MUCH WORSE! I thought it was bad before I started drinking, but MAN ALIVE, I had no clue how much worse everything could be. Alcohol made it so I couldn't even deal with anything. It made my depression go from a few times a month (thank you for that Aunt Flo...) to practically everyday...ugghhh...Now I am ready to attack it all...and I really want to...but I am being CAREFUL. I know what trying to take it all on at once can do to me. I am learning...I am gaining wisdom. It feels SO GOOD. Giving up alcohol was the first step, now I need to keep moving forward...and I'm DOING IT! YAY!

If you are just a few days into giving up alcohol, I hope you will be encouraged. It isn't easy, tougher on some than others, but it CAN be done and it FEELS GOOD! Maybe not at first...the length of time varies, but you WILL get there. "Put one step in front of the other..."

Have a great day!

BreakFree

Hi there! You can do this! :)

least

112 days today on my new life's journey. You are so right about being taken back to where you were before starting to drink. I'm trying to grow past that place and make my life livable again.

The dogs are staring at me and whining - it's past their breakfast time. Be right back!

espresso

This is a really great encouraging thread.
It's all one day at a time but I know how much 9 or 10 or 30 or 90 days matters to the person who has them. :ghug2
There's a saying that the person most sober is the one who got up earliest.

BreakFree

Hey least and espresso! :)

least...Sounds like your kids have more patience than mine! They begin whining the minute they wake up! LOL

espresso...Nice to meet you! :) Yes...one day at a time. I'm really working on this...in all aspects of my "life recovery". I'm a natural born organizer, planner and visionary so this is something I struggle with, but I'm doing it! WHOO-HOO! :)

colagirl

Morning everyone,
Thanks for this thread, BF! Hey, I was just thinking about another beauty issue that alcohol often causes for me... ever "forget" to take off your eye makeup and wake up with those lovely raccoon circles under your eyes? I love having that not happen!

BreakFree

How about your pillow...I can't stand to make my bed and see make-up on it. But you know what?...when I was drinking I was so depressed I didn't even BOTHER putting on my make-up! EEK! Just kidding, I love going 'au natural, but make-up really lifts my spirits. One of the worst things about drinking alcohol (outward beauti-wise) is that I was getting all dried out. My eyes stung, my hair was dry and unhealthy and MY SKIN! Oh, my poor skin...So glad those days are behind me! WHOO-HOO! :)

BreakFree

Well, I've been given "the look"...time for me to hop off the computer and get some work done. I need to take down all my Halloween decorations (sniff...sniff...). I'll check back in later...have a wonderful day everyone! :)

colagirl

Actually yes, often I would cry myself to sleep, drunk. Then my pillow would have foundation and part of my eye makeup on it, and the rest would be caked all over my face in the morning. What a lovely look, I'm sure anyone would be happy to wake up to that!

Midas

I remember my first two weeks. It was very rough. Hold on for a wild ride! You sound like you're off to a good start!

dancinggirl

Wonderful idea, BreakFree! Thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts these last few days...it is beyond appreciated!
And now...a pic of me in a sword fight....'cause THAT'S normal, right? lol

Ananda

You know even though sobriety is an inside job, one of the things that has been great in this sobriety for me is to discover that i can ENJOY the way I look. I have a history of alot of abuse and to feel good about my body is a huge thing for me. I looked 65 when i was 45 and drinking...haggard. And now at almost 50 (bd is nov 28th guys ) I really like my body and enjoy looking good for me, not for someone else.

You guys....I've really been struggling this week and haven't wanted to post cause my ego says I shouldn't need support from you cause I've been sober 15 mos. Some parts of the problem i can't post about, so am using pm to deal with, but there is some i can share with you.

When I was drinking I let my house fall appart...literally. Sober, things are HUGLEY better, but my son and i currently live in 1/2 the space of before and he has no bed..sleeps on the couch...the house is now on the market...looking for a new one or to build one...people come to see the house and it has to be clean and jeez you should of seen the state it was in when i got sober...it is clean today or as clean as it can be with 2 floors packed into one floor.....but you know it took 15 months to get to this place.

6 weeks ago I had a hystorctomy and bladder repair. Long story short...I was really physically ill and almost died several times from my alchohollism. When I stopped drinking my hormones and body chemistry changed greatly and since i could see tht it was possible..though not probably that sex might be in my future i explored birth control and given my problems the solution was the surgery. In a previous sobriety in my 20s I was 2 years sober and did some things I'm very ashamed of. Sorry no details here, but when I had this surgery alot of my lack of self forgivness came back to the forefront.

So...I find myself 15 months sober and although it is not at the point of wanting to drink...i find myself in need of the support of others. The house, the surgery and the realization that I still let what others think controll my feelings has been pretty overwhelming.

I need the laughter and the suport both....i bounce from up to down in a heartbeat and am struggling to accept that both sides of me are just as valid and that it is ok.

Breakfree...you are very on target on the changing but changing slowly...It is what seems to be working in my life right now and I am surounded by my AA group who see the little changes and celebrate them with me even though others might only see the mess left ahead.

Now....can someone please tell a joke????

Ananda

DC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (running around the room screaming and whopping it up!!!!!)

So glad you posted that pic...jeeez...what on earth were you worried about you sexy woman you!!!!!

I really hope you had a good time

:ghug3

dancinggirl

ananda: i think that when someone becomes sober, they have to go through a growing process, just like childhood, puberty, teenage years, adulthood, etc.. You've got a good amount of time under you now, which is FANTASTIC!...but now you're also in the "now what?" stage. God knows, the teenage years are the hardest, right? It's a time for you to find who you are sober, to forgive yourself of past missteps, to figure out who you want to be now...I mean, the world is wide open to you now! You get to write your own destiny! I'm glad that you're here....I'm glad for the support you give...I'm glad that you're aware of being in a hard time right now and are opening up about it. But holy moly!...you just had surgery! That's going to knock you out for a long time just with the healing process alone! And girl...don't get me started on the cleaning... I WISH I could blame the drinking for the state of my house. Try not to do too much, ok? You need to recover physically, too...your body has been through the ringer!

NewDayNow

DITTO!!!! I'm having the insomnia as well. seems to come and go.

" Now What?"---- That's me

Ed

Hope

I'm dealing with insomnia too. But it does start to get better. At least that is what I'm starting to notice.

Hang in there! Congrats on your sober days!