BreakFree's Place - November
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
It was a cry for help. Soma and Flexerill are muscle relaxers and very hard to OD on (I believe I am correct). Oh....big hug my friend. I hope you can get some sleep. You must be physically and emotionally exhausted. You are in my prayers.
Kathleen
Kathleen
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Melissa's Journal ~ Day 5
I've just spent the last hour sipping coffee and reading and responding to posts from my friends here at SR and I feel so..."not alone". We all have so many struggles and triumphs and up and downs going on in our day to day life and underneath it all, we are intelligent human beings with big hearts and feelings. So many thoughts and feelings that sometimes, over the course of our lives, we just didn't know what to do with or how to handle them...and we ended up here. I'm really not alone...
THE GOOD, THE BAD...AND THE...LOLA?
Last night was the first time I've slept through the night since I can't remember when and that was GOOD. So, so good. But hold the celebrations. It was a night FULL of very disturbing dreams and that was...you guessed it...very BAD. I was in the midst of the worst of all the dreams when I was awoken to the sounds of shuffling in my closet. NO! SHHH!!! Go back to sleep!!! More shuffling and noise. I look over at the clock...it's 4:45am. UGGH...I pull the covers over my head in protest as the final attempt to awaken me draws near...OOF! There it was. I pull my head up from under the covers to find a black furry face with a white beauty mark looking RIGHT at me...my first thought was, "Who are you working for? Are you in cahoots with the Devil too?" All I got was, "Puuuuuuurrrrrrr."
Day 5 and feeling great! :) Yesterday I was cleaning out my files and came across a gift certificate to a local restaurant and brewery and for one split second I wrestled with the memories...oh the memories...but I was able to file the certificate and fight it off. I kept VERY BUSY yesterday and accomplished a great deal for which I am feeling very happy about. Lots of these things had been weighing on me and I'm SO HAPPY to have them out of the way. No more guilt. WHOO-HOO! I was physically running around getting stuff done yesterday and I think that may have contributed to my uninterrupted sleep last night. However, I had many emotional challenges yesterday with which I struggled and I'm sure that contributed to all of the dreams. I am looking forward to another productive day and an even better night's sleep!
"Just put one foot in front of the other...and soon you'll be walking..."
THE GOOD, THE BAD...AND THE...LOLA?
Last night was the first time I've slept through the night since I can't remember when and that was GOOD. So, so good. But hold the celebrations. It was a night FULL of very disturbing dreams and that was...you guessed it...very BAD. I was in the midst of the worst of all the dreams when I was awoken to the sounds of shuffling in my closet. NO! SHHH!!! Go back to sleep!!! More shuffling and noise. I look over at the clock...it's 4:45am. UGGH...I pull the covers over my head in protest as the final attempt to awaken me draws near...OOF! There it was. I pull my head up from under the covers to find a black furry face with a white beauty mark looking RIGHT at me...my first thought was, "Who are you working for? Are you in cahoots with the Devil too?" All I got was, "Puuuuuuurrrrrrr."
Day 5 and feeling great! :) Yesterday I was cleaning out my files and came across a gift certificate to a local restaurant and brewery and for one split second I wrestled with the memories...oh the memories...but I was able to file the certificate and fight it off. I kept VERY BUSY yesterday and accomplished a great deal for which I am feeling very happy about. Lots of these things had been weighing on me and I'm SO HAPPY to have them out of the way. No more guilt. WHOO-HOO! I was physically running around getting stuff done yesterday and I think that may have contributed to my uninterrupted sleep last night. However, I had many emotional challenges yesterday with which I struggled and I'm sure that contributed to all of the dreams. I am looking forward to another productive day and an even better night's sleep!
"Just put one foot in front of the other...and soon you'll be walking..."
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
Thanks for the love, support and prayers. We both got ( she still is) a lot of sleep.
It is/was incredibly physically and emotionally draining. Ananda, thanks for the reminder about other forms of communication.
Have to concentrate on work for right now (working from home as I do more often than not) will check back later.
It is/was incredibly physically and emotionally draining. Ananda, thanks for the reminder about other forms of communication.
Have to concentrate on work for right now (working from home as I do more often than not) will check back later.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
All,
I did not log on for the weekend seems like I can only get on at work. Anyway does anyone know what happened to the Class of July 08 postings. I know there was some problems but being new here not sure what happens to threads. I thought this was a spin off so figured I would ask here. I hope everyone had a nice sober weekend.
Thanks
I did not log on for the weekend seems like I can only get on at work. Anyway does anyone know what happened to the Class of July 08 postings. I know there was some problems but being new here not sure what happens to threads. I thought this was a spin off so figured I would ask here. I hope everyone had a nice sober weekend.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
Hi Philly! I was off-line this weekend, too, and it was confusing today trying to find everything! lol There's a new "forum" underneath the Newcomers to Recovery Forum...this one is called Newcomers...um...I forget now. Haha..sigh. 
Anyways, it's in the SECOND newcomers forum...the one under the original newcomers. And if you're not confused by THAT explanation, you are doing great!
Anyways, it's in the SECOND newcomers forum...the one under the original newcomers. And if you're not confused by THAT explanation, you are doing great!
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Originally Posted by colagirl 
Hi everyone,
Starting day 3 here, about to make a pot of coffee. My mom's birthday celebration went okay yesterday, but also brought about the usual family drama issues. I wanted to drink, but I didn't... I did something equally stupid though and smoked a cigarette (I quit about 9 years ago). I already drowned the rest of the pack and threw them away though - it was just gross.
Stress is definitely my main trigger - I always think, why would I sit here and worry and feel miserable when I could drink and forget about it all for awhile? I am very, very bad at dealing with things.
I'm almost done reading "Under the Influence". Does anyone know if we already have a discussion group here about it? I thought it might be good to have something like that since I know there are several of us who have read it or are waiting for it.
Starting day 3 here, about to make a pot of coffee. My mom's birthday celebration went okay yesterday, but also brought about the usual family drama issues. I wanted to drink, but I didn't... I did something equally stupid though and smoked a cigarette (I quit about 9 years ago). I already drowned the rest of the pack and threw them away though - it was just gross.
Stress is definitely my main trigger - I always think, why would I sit here and worry and feel miserable when I could drink and forget about it all for awhile? I am very, very bad at dealing with things.
I'm almost done reading "Under the Influence". Does anyone know if we already have a discussion group here about it? I thought it might be good to have something like that since I know there are several of us who have read it or are waiting for it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
P.S. My hame is Hope3 and this Nov 22, I'll have 1 year...
Allot of the things i've read in your threads are very common..sleepless nights, a brain switch would be nice, but there is hope and it does get better.
Best wishes to all,
Hope & Love
Hope3
getting there
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,314
Hi everyone,
I'm sitting here thinking about a drink. I've tried to distract myself in every way I can think of but the urge is still there. I exercised, read some of "Under the Influence", went through some posts here, even changed into my pajamas so I would feel like I was home for the night... still I'm wondering why I'm sitting at the computer on edge instead of relaxing with a bottle of wine. UGH!
I'm sitting here thinking about a drink. I've tried to distract myself in every way I can think of but the urge is still there. I exercised, read some of "Under the Influence", went through some posts here, even changed into my pajamas so I would feel like I was home for the night... still I'm wondering why I'm sitting at the computer on edge instead of relaxing with a bottle of wine. UGH!
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Hi Everyone! :)
I'm so sorry I haven't been around :( It was a crazy busy day and here it is 10:50pm already...
colagirl...(((hugs))) to you my friend! I double what ananda said. I'm so bummed I wasn't here for you tonight. Please hang in there! You CAN do this! I am SO PROUD of you. I hope you are sleeping peacefully at this very moment. I wish I could take those thoughts away FOR you. Please check in with us tomorrow...I will be thinking of you! (((hugs)))
I can't wait to catch up with everyone tomorrow! :)
Sweet dreams my friends! :)
Melissa
I'm so sorry I haven't been around :( It was a crazy busy day and here it is 10:50pm already...
colagirl...(((hugs))) to you my friend! I double what ananda said. I'm so bummed I wasn't here for you tonight. Please hang in there! You CAN do this! I am SO PROUD of you. I hope you are sleeping peacefully at this very moment. I wish I could take those thoughts away FOR you. Please check in with us tomorrow...I will be thinking of you! (((hugs)))
I can't wait to catch up with everyone tomorrow! :)
Sweet dreams my friends! :)
Melissa
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Melissa's Journal ~ Day 6
Good Morning! :)
Life is back in "full swing"...that would be up at the crack of dawn and work like a crazy woman until 9 or 10pm at night and still feel like I didn't get to everything. UGGGHH...How does that happen? How is it that there is SO MUCH to do in a day? I just don't get it. I'm starting to think...that's just life. Perhaps I just need to catch a rhythm...something I've been unable to do in the past because alcohol was wrapped up in the mix, either to celebrate success in my day or to drown my sorrows. I MUST push through this. I know. It will happen. Persistance. Hard work. Positive attitude. It may not feel good...but it will. I have to remind myself of this each day I wake up feeling as if I've already been defeated by the monster called "Life". It's just the dark clouds chasing me. BUT, I can run faster...right? I can. I will. Run. Oh, it feels good to know this deep down when everything at the surface feels as if it's heading toward rebellion. Not so much to drink, but to get trapped into that negative thought snowball. You know the one. Well, I'm not going to let it catch me...I'm going to RUN!!! And when I get as far away from it as possible, I am going to climb up to the top of a mountain and shout for JOY! Anything is possible and I CAN do anything! And I have no idea where I'm going with all this, but it feels good to be running toward the mountain, not away from it!
YES! I'm back.
Life is back in "full swing"...that would be up at the crack of dawn and work like a crazy woman until 9 or 10pm at night and still feel like I didn't get to everything. UGGGHH...How does that happen? How is it that there is SO MUCH to do in a day? I just don't get it. I'm starting to think...that's just life. Perhaps I just need to catch a rhythm...something I've been unable to do in the past because alcohol was wrapped up in the mix, either to celebrate success in my day or to drown my sorrows. I MUST push through this. I know. It will happen. Persistance. Hard work. Positive attitude. It may not feel good...but it will. I have to remind myself of this each day I wake up feeling as if I've already been defeated by the monster called "Life". It's just the dark clouds chasing me. BUT, I can run faster...right? I can. I will. Run. Oh, it feels good to know this deep down when everything at the surface feels as if it's heading toward rebellion. Not so much to drink, but to get trapped into that negative thought snowball. You know the one. Well, I'm not going to let it catch me...I'm going to RUN!!! And when I get as far away from it as possible, I am going to climb up to the top of a mountain and shout for JOY! Anything is possible and I CAN do anything! And I have no idea where I'm going with all this, but it feels good to be running toward the mountain, not away from it!
YES! I'm back.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
Hey Melissa, haven't been over there to your place in a while, just thought I'd say hi. Kind of at a lull in the rocky relationship at the moment, thankfully! I really need a break from the drama.
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