Just want to thank Everyone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Just want to thank Everyone
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to thank everyone for helping me through a rough time last night. I didn't drink. I'm still sober, thanks to all my on-line friends and f2f friends at the meeting last night.
My sponser wanted me to pull out my paper i wrote when I was around 3 months sober. It saved my life. It actually made me want to cry reading it. It's scary reading all the things that could happen to me and will happen to me if i pick up again. I haven't read that paper in a few months so it really opened my eyes last night. Thank god my head is on a little tighter today.
Here's what i wrote 6 months ago:
Thinking the Drink Through
I’m writing all this down so I can remember where I came from, and most especially to help me when I’m having a really bad day and feeling squirrely. If I was to pick up tonight this is what the consequences would be, or could be.
It would start out all right and I would be happy, happy for a little bit; but by the time I went to bed I would be crying my eyes out that it started all over again. I would have all those feelings of remorse, embarrassment, shame, depression, and rage at myself all over again.
I would be back drinking everyday within a day or two. I wouldn’t be able to stop. I would be back drinking before dinner every day and drinking at night before I went to bed. I would be back drinking my 5 or 6 everyday and more on the weekends. If I stayed out my tolerance would increase more. I could end up drinking a bottle a day and not worrying about measuring out each shot in my drinks.
My blackouts could also have gotten worse than they were. I could end up doing something really stupid like leaving the house and getting myself hurt, or in trouble; instead of little blackouts like not remembering when I went to bed. Sometimes I couldn’t remember smoking my cigarettes when I drank and that could of gotten worse like setting my house on fire.
Even if none of those worse case scenarios didn’t happen, it doesn’t mean they could of; what most defiantly will happen if I drank again and the reason I came to AA in the first place was my own personal prison. When I drank, I didn’t want to go anywhere, do anything, or even leave the house. I didn’t take care of myself and and want to bath or brush my teeth. I didn’t even eat enough at the end of my drinking before returning to AA. I always slept the day away and didn’t get up until at least 1:00 every day. I stopped doing things I love to do like my crafts and my writing. I didn’t want to go out fishing or to dinner with my husband or enjoy life. I was just existing.
I have to remember all these things if I want to live. I have to learn how to fight my fears, and all my anger in life with the help of AA if I want to survive.
Again thank you everyone.
Barb
I just wanted to thank everyone for helping me through a rough time last night. I didn't drink. I'm still sober, thanks to all my on-line friends and f2f friends at the meeting last night.
My sponser wanted me to pull out my paper i wrote when I was around 3 months sober. It saved my life. It actually made me want to cry reading it. It's scary reading all the things that could happen to me and will happen to me if i pick up again. I haven't read that paper in a few months so it really opened my eyes last night. Thank god my head is on a little tighter today.
Here's what i wrote 6 months ago:
Thinking the Drink Through
I’m writing all this down so I can remember where I came from, and most especially to help me when I’m having a really bad day and feeling squirrely. If I was to pick up tonight this is what the consequences would be, or could be.
It would start out all right and I would be happy, happy for a little bit; but by the time I went to bed I would be crying my eyes out that it started all over again. I would have all those feelings of remorse, embarrassment, shame, depression, and rage at myself all over again.
I would be back drinking everyday within a day or two. I wouldn’t be able to stop. I would be back drinking before dinner every day and drinking at night before I went to bed. I would be back drinking my 5 or 6 everyday and more on the weekends. If I stayed out my tolerance would increase more. I could end up drinking a bottle a day and not worrying about measuring out each shot in my drinks.
My blackouts could also have gotten worse than they were. I could end up doing something really stupid like leaving the house and getting myself hurt, or in trouble; instead of little blackouts like not remembering when I went to bed. Sometimes I couldn’t remember smoking my cigarettes when I drank and that could of gotten worse like setting my house on fire.
Even if none of those worse case scenarios didn’t happen, it doesn’t mean they could of; what most defiantly will happen if I drank again and the reason I came to AA in the first place was my own personal prison. When I drank, I didn’t want to go anywhere, do anything, or even leave the house. I didn’t take care of myself and and want to bath or brush my teeth. I didn’t even eat enough at the end of my drinking before returning to AA. I always slept the day away and didn’t get up until at least 1:00 every day. I stopped doing things I love to do like my crafts and my writing. I didn’t want to go out fishing or to dinner with my husband or enjoy life. I was just existing.
I have to remember all these things if I want to live. I have to learn how to fight my fears, and all my anger in life with the help of AA if I want to survive.
Again thank you everyone.
Barb
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Scaredy, I'm going to follow your example and write a list of my own reasons to not pick up. I never thought I'd forget how I felt last January when I feared for my life, but already the memories are growing dim. Not good with the holidays approaching. Thanks for helping me stay sober, Barb
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Barb)))
I'm so proud of you. I hope you keep that piece of paper forever...we think we will never forget what got us into recovery, but I know I can forget when I want to.
I'm glad you're feeling better, you didn't drink, and you came back here and helped others....you are awesome, so don't forget it!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm so proud of you. I hope you keep that piece of paper forever...we think we will never forget what got us into recovery, but I know I can forget when I want to.
I'm glad you're feeling better, you didn't drink, and you came back here and helped others....you are awesome, so don't forget it!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
very powerful! You are truly amazing-glad that you have crossed my path! Love you 
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
I too feel grateful for my friends here. I often get teary-eyed at the love and support given here. It never ceases to amaze me how the support and friendship here helps so much. You were helped at a difficult time. Now you've helped me and others by expressing your gratitude for the support and for making it thru a rough patch still sober.
I believe our friends are essential to a healthy life. I am grateful to you and my friends here who have always supported me thru good times and bad. This is truly a wonderful and life-saving place! I am glad you came thru your rough patch unscathed!
:ghug
I believe our friends are essential to a healthy life. I am grateful to you and my friends here who have always supported me thru good times and bad. This is truly a wonderful and life-saving place! I am glad you came thru your rough patch unscathed!
:ghug
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Originally Posted by Hevyn 
Scaredy, I'm going to follow your example and write a list of my own reasons to not pick up. I never thought I'd forget how I felt last January when I feared for my life, but already the memories are growing dim. Not good with the holidays approaching. Thanks for helping me stay sober, Barb
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Originally Posted by least
I too feel grateful for my friends here. I often get teary-eyed at the love and support given here. It never ceases to amaze me how the support and friendship here helps so much.
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