60 days and under
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
60 days and under
Hi everyone!
I'm going to start this thread because I can't find it anywhere else! Then again, I'm pretty cyber challenged, so if it's out there, please excuse the duplication...
Anyways, having always lived on the 2 week and under thread, I am amazed that I belong here. Believe me, I'm thrilled to say the least!
My issues now are less physical and more emotional and mental. I do still get demon thoughts at 5pm, but being on Antabuse squashes any sabotaging thoughts I may have. However...my mind on the other hand...I am finding it hard to "stick to my side of the street" (in AA lingo). My baser self keeps plaguing me with thoughts such as "how come I'm doing all this work, and you're still (fill in the blank)", or trying to stay centered myself when others are wallowing in the cup is half full stuff. I KNOW that I can only be responsible for myself, but ACCEPTING that fact and BELIEVING it in my heart of hearts and not letting resentments sneak in (bad news for ME), is another matter altogether.
Or perhaps putting it a different way, I'm having a hard time knowing when to let go and "to my own self, be true". Again, I THINK that I should assess any given situation (to assess if I have any control over it or not), figure out if I SHOULD jump in (or let go) and establish my boundaries (ie not rolling over and playing dead if I think that someone is being unfair to me). Does that make sense? My confusion is evident because it doesn't even make sense to ME! But I'm trying. Progress, not perfection, right?
I'm going to start this thread because I can't find it anywhere else! Then again, I'm pretty cyber challenged, so if it's out there, please excuse the duplication...
Anyways, having always lived on the 2 week and under thread, I am amazed that I belong here. Believe me, I'm thrilled to say the least!
My issues now are less physical and more emotional and mental. I do still get demon thoughts at 5pm, but being on Antabuse squashes any sabotaging thoughts I may have. However...my mind on the other hand...I am finding it hard to "stick to my side of the street" (in AA lingo). My baser self keeps plaguing me with thoughts such as "how come I'm doing all this work, and you're still (fill in the blank)", or trying to stay centered myself when others are wallowing in the cup is half full stuff. I KNOW that I can only be responsible for myself, but ACCEPTING that fact and BELIEVING it in my heart of hearts and not letting resentments sneak in (bad news for ME), is another matter altogether.
Or perhaps putting it a different way, I'm having a hard time knowing when to let go and "to my own self, be true". Again, I THINK that I should assess any given situation (to assess if I have any control over it or not), figure out if I SHOULD jump in (or let go) and establish my boundaries (ie not rolling over and playing dead if I think that someone is being unfair to me). Does that make sense? My confusion is evident because it doesn't even make sense to ME! But I'm trying. Progress, not perfection, right?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
HS....wow...you just described exactly where i am at today!!!!!!
If i want to stay sober i think this is the sort of thing i will have to learn to do better at.
No real answers...i do know that i have to be ok with that i may swing and go to far in one direction or the other as i attempt to learn how to do this stuff...trying a new behavior i may over do it a bit to start with. Fortunately people here are fairly kind about it when i mess up....
not much helpful to say about it HS...just that i'm there too!
If i want to stay sober i think this is the sort of thing i will have to learn to do better at.
No real answers...i do know that i have to be ok with that i may swing and go to far in one direction or the other as i attempt to learn how to do this stuff...trying a new behavior i may over do it a bit to start with. Fortunately people here are fairly kind about it when i mess up....
not much helpful to say about it HS...just that i'm there too!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hi Ananda:
I'm always finding paradoxes in my life, maybe that's why I'm so indecisive! LOL! Anyways, I know that you have far more than 60 days, but please stay, because we need your wisdom!:ghug
I'm always finding paradoxes in my life, maybe that's why I'm so indecisive! LOL! Anyways, I know that you have far more than 60 days, but please stay, because we need your wisdom!:ghug
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hope you had a nice walk NDN! I have recently taken up Yoga and aerobics...any delusions I may have harbored about being fit, have gone down the tubes! Very humbling, let me tell you.
I hope Twin and Trying so Hard find this thread, NDN...we can't be the only ones in this category in the entire cyber galaxy, can we?
I hope Twin and Trying so Hard find this thread, NDN...we can't be the only ones in this category in the entire cyber galaxy, can we?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
It's probably way back on page 10 or something. I know what you mean about being happy to have finally gotten our of the two week thread. I was going to set up housekeeping in there cause I couldn't seem to leave.
I know also what you mean about the mental stuff. When my physical addiction was gone I had to deal with life sober, and it was (still is) hard, but taking my life and sobriety one day at a time is working. I can only live one day at a time so may as well live for today, cause it's all I've got right now!
:ghug3
I know also what you mean about the mental stuff. When my physical addiction was gone I had to deal with life sober, and it was (still is) hard, but taking my life and sobriety one day at a time is working. I can only live one day at a time so may as well live for today, cause it's all I've got right now!
:ghug3
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
It IS amazing. I was such a hopeless case, a basket case, a chronic relapser. I was telling someone else that I went thru the drive thru the other day and the guy didn't go get my 'regular' bottle of wine, but came over to my car and asked where I'd been for the last four months! I was often the first person there when they opened at 8 am. How embarassing. But no longer, that is in the past and it can stay there! I'm so tickled to be sober 111 days. Sixteen weeks tomorrow! Yippee!
Sobriety rocks! And it saves money and trouble too.
Sobriety rocks! And it saves money and trouble too.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 632
I don’t like being alone especially when I’m not working. So yep, the walk did some good. A beautiful day here in the woods of Virginia.
60 days seems a little more manageable then 90 days, where I’ve been posting. Just can’t see that far ahead. Hopefully, Twin and TSH will show up soon. Voetsod should be around 67 days.
Good to see you doing so well Least.
This finishes 49 days of sobriety for me
Hay! 60 and under
Ed
60 days seems a little more manageable then 90 days, where I’ve been posting. Just can’t see that far ahead. Hopefully, Twin and TSH will show up soon. Voetsod should be around 67 days.
Good to see you doing so well Least.
This finishes 49 days of sobriety for me
Hay! 60 and under
Ed
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 632
Hay, Lets start this day out right------- Have a little joke for ya.
A farmer friend of mine just down the road has one of the only out houses still standing after Halloween. He was thinking about pushing it over himself when he was approached by a man that wanted to rent it. Well sure he says, “I’ll rent that out house to ya”. That night there was a light on in that out house and the next morning a television antenna on top. The farmer thought it was a little odd, but “what the heck, none of my business”. The next morning the farmer noticed that there were two antennas on top of that out house. Well, this time his curiosity got the best of him. So down to the out house he went to find out why.
Well getting a little late for me, so
TO BE CONTINUED
50 days sober
A farmer friend of mine just down the road has one of the only out houses still standing after Halloween. He was thinking about pushing it over himself when he was approached by a man that wanted to rent it. Well sure he says, “I’ll rent that out house to ya”. That night there was a light on in that out house and the next morning a television antenna on top. The farmer thought it was a little odd, but “what the heck, none of my business”. The next morning the farmer noticed that there were two antennas on top of that out house. Well, this time his curiosity got the best of him. So down to the out house he went to find out why.
Well getting a little late for me, so
TO BE CONTINUED
50 days sober
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Originally Posted by HideorSeek 
I hope Twin and Trying so Hard find this thread, NDN...we can't be the only ones in this category in the entire cyber galaxy, can we?
I was searching for this the other day, too. I went back at least 10 pages and never could find it! So thanks, Hide!! I participated in a 5K today! By no means did I run the whole thing but I did run SOME of it... and I finished it. LOL I'm tired now!!!
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 632
Not positive but I think this is the start of 51 days sober for me.
Can't seem to figure it out at the moment. I'm late for a job right now and stumbling around trying to get ready. Hope this isn't another case of dry drunk.
Can't seem to figure it out at the moment. I'm late for a job right now and stumbling around trying to get ready. Hope this isn't another case of dry drunk.
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