Scary Halloween Stuff...
Knucklehead
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
I've been sober...
for 7 days. I have severe OCD and anxiety which is usually what brings me back to using along with not being able to deal with negative emotions. This time around I went to the state funded mental health clinic for meds and counseling. I started meds the same day I stopped drinking and smoking pot. I'm a bit frustrated because at this point I usually feel sober and clear headed, but due to the meds, I don't really feel straight. I know from past experience that this feeling will eventually subside, but patience has never been one of my strengths.
Another issue I'm having a hard time dealing with is the fact that I am not working. With my OCD and anxiety problems, I have a hard time finding work that I can do, and in the very small town I'm living in, there isn't a lot of work, even when the economy is good. I had a job here for about a month, but couldn't handle it. I quit before I was let go. It's about a 45 minute commute to Spokane, where I could probably find something I could do within my limitations, but I have an old car that needs work, and being so far away from a job causes anxiety all by itself. In the past, I have always had a part-time job or two at any given time to get me by and atleast pay my half of the living expenses. For the last couple of months, my gf of 5 years has been paying almost all of our living expenses, working extra hours to do so. About 2 weeks ago, I applied for state disability benefits, and have an interview with them this comming Wednesday. It's not much, but atleast I will be able to contribute something towards our food and monthly bills. I'm hoping that fairly soon, I will be able to get back on my feet enough to work part-time, to supplement my disability payments, if the state allows me to do that. Being allowed to work while on disablilty seems to be a grey area. As much time as I spend online, I wish I could find some work I could do from home that is legitimate, even if it doesn't pay very well.
Also, this town only has one AA meeting a week that really doesn't get much attendance, so face to faces support also means a commute. And I'm really not an AA person as it is. I am going to try some online SMART meetings using voice chat, and LifeRing as well. In addition, I am going to try to organize a support group in town for those who have addiction and mental health issues, which according to my counselor includes the vast majority of their clients.
As always, thank you all for your support and suggestions.
DK
Another issue I'm having a hard time dealing with is the fact that I am not working. With my OCD and anxiety problems, I have a hard time finding work that I can do, and in the very small town I'm living in, there isn't a lot of work, even when the economy is good. I had a job here for about a month, but couldn't handle it. I quit before I was let go. It's about a 45 minute commute to Spokane, where I could probably find something I could do within my limitations, but I have an old car that needs work, and being so far away from a job causes anxiety all by itself. In the past, I have always had a part-time job or two at any given time to get me by and atleast pay my half of the living expenses. For the last couple of months, my gf of 5 years has been paying almost all of our living expenses, working extra hours to do so. About 2 weeks ago, I applied for state disability benefits, and have an interview with them this comming Wednesday. It's not much, but atleast I will be able to contribute something towards our food and monthly bills. I'm hoping that fairly soon, I will be able to get back on my feet enough to work part-time, to supplement my disability payments, if the state allows me to do that. Being allowed to work while on disablilty seems to be a grey area. As much time as I spend online, I wish I could find some work I could do from home that is legitimate, even if it doesn't pay very well.
Also, this town only has one AA meeting a week that really doesn't get much attendance, so face to faces support also means a commute. And I'm really not an AA person as it is. I am going to try some online SMART meetings using voice chat, and LifeRing as well. In addition, I am going to try to organize a support group in town for those who have addiction and mental health issues, which according to my counselor includes the vast majority of their clients.
As always, thank you all for your support and suggestions.
DK
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I also have 'issues' with OCD and anxiety, as well as depression and manic depression. I've been on meds for all that stuff for four years, the anti depressants go back ten years. It does get better, but it takes time, so be easy on yourself. Glad you've applied for disability benefits. That can be a big help.
Don't give up on anything - your clean and sober life, your disability, or anything else. Be kind to yourself - you're worth it!
Knucklehead
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Still hangin'... I drove into Spokane (45 minutes) for a meeting the other day. They have a great Alano club there, and I met some really nice people. I was pleasantly suprised by it all.
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