searching

This may be a stupid question but has anyone stepped up from beer to vodka, its easier to hide and when you are really bad the mixers arent so bad to get down... sounds like a problem to me... after a whole damn summer of drinking responcible, IE justa few beers when we go out to eat or during the game, IE that kind of thing w had a huge Halloween party and I got wasted and have been ever since. I know my wife isnt happy, she is just giving me the silent treatment. I just dont understand, I did so well all summer then bam this.. any advice or encouragement would help, Im so bummed... oh and the halloween party was a blast by the way....

searching

thats what makes it worst that the party was sooo much fun. please excuse the misspealed words Ive been drunk for like 5 days.. ugggg

Ananda

any time i try to drink responsible, i end up worse off than before. Please consider sobriety as a way of life :ghug3

searching

I know this is going to **** off a lot of peps but its so much fun though, my wife and I have been drinking since we were like 18 we are 40 now, theres things you just dont do when your sober, sex is incredible, I mean really wouldnt you all still drink if you could, are we all searching here for the golden goose, the happy medium? I Know Im wrong and need to quit, Im just trying to hang on, and she isnt helping, she gets mad but after a couple weeks of no drinking she will be like you have done so good you can have a few....

dancinggirl

Is it so much fun, really? Your wife is angry at you and not speaking to you. That can't be fun. You tried to drink "responsibly" and found you couldn't stop. That can't be fun. You have been drunk for five days. That can't be fun.

Dying isn't a blast, either, hon. You can quit this cycle!

Anna

No, drinking was not fun for me, or for my family, definitely not.

Alcohol was destroying my life.

And, managing my drinking never worked for me, not for very long anyways.

If you want to stop drinking, that's a decision you need to make for yourself. If your wife encourages you to drink, then that's something you need to deal with at the time. You know what's best for yourself.

searching

Well actually sometimes it is fun, you werent at our hallween party, that was a blast, thats why Im having such a prob giving it up, its fun then this happens, Ive been on here for a while now and it always comes back to this, me coming back here saying Im on a bender, a few weeks, months off the stuff but It always comes back. Thats why the name searching... I dont know anymore...

searching

I have issues, guess I need to get back to the therapist, he didnt think my drinking was a problem but that I had other issues and thats what caused my drinking, guess maybe I need to figure that out...

searching

Please someone talk to me, or am I just lost cause?

Anna

In my opinion, drinking is a symptom. As you said, there are underlying issues. That's what many of us face. I did. It means that stopping drinking is the beginning and then a lot of work follows, in dealing with those issues.

In other words, drinking is not necessarily the problem, but I still needed to stop drinking. Once you are addicted to alcohol, there is no going back. The invisible line, once it is crossed, is the end of going back.

If you think drinking is fun, I think it will be very difficult for you to stop. It takes a lot of motivation to recover from alcoholism.

searching

yes it does, and Im going thru other issues as well... I would go to AA but the AA in town is a joke, small town, they only go cause the law says they have to, no one there cares really

Anna

I'm not an AA person, but it does work well for many people.

You can find lots of support here, if you decide to stop drinking.

ClimbingUP

Yeah, I've had fun drinking. But the worst times of my came after drinking, so I think in the grand scheme of things, the fun I had doesn't measure up.

I'm scared to give up drinking too. A lot of my social life revolves around drinking. I talked to a friend yesterday who has been sober for years, and he is doing absolutely amazing things with his life. Things that he wouldn't be able to do if he were drinking. Drinking numbs me. I sleep too much, I eat too much, I don't exercise. I don't do any of the things that make me truly happy in life. Things that make me proud of myself. How often has drinking made you proud of yourself? You might have a little bit of fun, but if you're here, then the ramifications are already too costly.

Celebration1994

You say what a blast drinking is, and then you say how miserable you are....you got wasted and the payoff is ...your getting the silent treatment, and then you say you are bummed. Which is it, would be my question....is drinking making your life better or is drinking causing you problems?

I was a functional drunk, and minimized my drinking and the consequences for many years. I finally just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. It wasn't until I got sober, that I really saw how destructive my drinking was.

Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic....Only you can decide if you want to stop.

No matter what you decide, I wish you happiness and the best

TryingSoHard

Yes, there are things you just don't do when you're sober... like make a raging idiot of yourself - or if you do, at least you remember it the next day. And I'm sorry, but sex can be totally incredible sober, too.

That's called enabling, and it's not healthy for either of you.

If you didn't think you had a problem, I don't think you'd be here.
I wish you the best.

searching

ya I know I suck, please help...

Horselover

Well I read this thread Searching and it sounds like you may not be ready to quit. I hear a lot of buts . . . in this thread. I would give up drinking but life is so much fun when I am drinking. I hear a lot of denial too. I don't think you suck searching at all! I think the disease is coniving and it still has a hold on you tighter then sobriety. I do think the twinkle of sobriety is entering your mind, but you have to be 100 percent willing to go to any lengths if you want to change yourself and your life. Make a plan and stick to it. Don't let anyone convince you to have a couple because you've been good. Its not a reward, its a path down the same old, beaten road you have already taken.

My two cents. Good luck and hope you gain sobriety soon. Its a very fun way to live and peaceful way to live. I feel like I exited the midway and have entered the slower, saner path. :ghug3

dancinggirl

searching: you don't suck, hon!!!! you just need to make a decision....a SOBER decision....on what's best for you. We're here for you....you can get through this!

flutter

Seems to me like you're not ready to quit... are you? What kind of help are you asking for here? Take care

mle-sober

Searching,

I have to say it's practically physically painful to read your posts. You sound scared as s**t. You sound like you are in very deep denial. Like you know there is a train coming around the bend and you are tied to the tracks. Woo Hoo!! This used to be fun! What adrenalin! And it's not fun anymore.

I don't believe you when you say it's fun. There is too much desperation in your words. "It's fun! I swear it's fun! It has to be fun, or else why would I do this?" You do it because you are an alcoholic.

What you're getting out of getting yourself sloppy drunk is some sort of pay off - maybe it's numbing your pain, maybe it's pi88ing off the wife, maybe it's allowing you to avoid facing yourself and your life. Whatever it is, I would put money on it not being about fun any more.

There's too much misery in your posts to make me believe your all up and having a party. La tee da. All good. Lots of fun. Right.

Quitting doesn't happen to you. It's back-breaking, terrifying enormously upheaving work. For me, it was like taking my whole world created out of rocks and bricks and tearing it down into a million pieces. It was so scary. And so worth it. A million times over.

I wish you sobriety. I wish you peace. I wish you begin to fin your path. I believe each of us can achieve sobriety. I've been to too many AA meetings with such an enormous variety of people from all walks of life. And we have one thing in common: we are sober drunks. And it's beautiful.

You can do it too. You have to decide to do it and recognize that following the path of your alcoholism is going to detroy all the things you used to dream about when you were young - a healthy happy family, a loving wife, a peaceful and joyous life. But finding your path to and through sobriety will bring all those possibilities back to you.