LittleKnux

Hi everyone well ill keep it short and sweet. Its wonderful to be on this site as i feel as if finally someone is experiencing the same things as us. My father, whom i work with is an alcoholic. Its desperatly upsetting to see him like he is. My mum kicked him out and he now lives at work. He gets up on a morning and drinks (wine)... Then throughout the day he just constantly tops up until about 6 pm where he is slurring and cant understand what your saying to him. Some mornings he is still that wasted from the night before he cant stan up straight. He smells lie the carpet in a pub. He owns his own company and is incredible smart but yet i have seen him going down hill eve1ry since we found that my mother had been cheating on him for about 8 yrs.

Anyway i dread opening the door on a morning and i only take my 2 girls down to see him if a really have to. My husband has now taken to shouting at me because dad is how he is.... There has been several occassions he has made mistakes at work because he is so drunk he cant even remember what you have discussed with him 1 min ago.
I realise i cant change him i just need to accept that this is not my fault and i just have to . learn to change myself. I bring him a warm meal down and do his washing and ironing. If i didnt do this then it wouldnt change his addiction. As its not if he could do it himself anyway as there is no washer at work. I no there is no majic wand i can wave no matter how deep i wish there was. I would love to have my dad back as he was when i was 15. But the disease has him now and the child in me craves him to be proud of what i do and my children and yet eyes are clouded.

One day im sure, i will see him back again. It just might take alot of time or death for that to happen.

Anyway, just to say hi and hope to speak to you all very soon...

Lots of love
Little Knux

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It sounds like you have a good perspective on the situation and I hope that your father gets help for himself.

You might want to check out the forum for Friends and Families of Alcoholics, which is on this board.

David69

All I can say is I wish you the best! Being an alcoholic myself and having been so for 20plus years....just trying to reform myself now, you have some tough decisions to make. He has to make the decision to change himself....otherwise it will just repeat itself. You can certainly tell him how you feel, what you are missing and what he is missing....however it may prove to be useless (but at least you can clear that part out). I was told several times over the years what my lifestyle was doing to my family and I would clean up for a bit but fall right back into the same track. My wife stuck by me when she really should have bailed out. My reasons were for things I should have had worked out through counseling....sounds like your father may need to do that as well. He appears to be dealing with his internal emotions through a bottle. I hope and pray it works out for you and yours.

nogard

welcome to SR

Hevyn

Hi LittleKnux - it's great you've found us. This is a wonderful place. I understand how your father must feel, he thinks he's easing his pain by drinking, but it just doesn't work that way after awhile. In the beginning, it was calming, and helped me cope with problems, but in the end it just made me insane and very sick. It's so good of you to stand beside him and try to help - I hope you'll find some good answers and suggestions here.

timzup

Wow, your story knocks me out.

Knux, I'm not one for advice but hang in there and i'm sures omeone else will jump in with a word or two.

Incidentally, West Yorkshire! Get in There! Nice to hear froma local rather than those bloody yan.... I meant to say other folks.

LittleKnux

hi everyone. Many thanks for your replies:ghug2

i just cant work out how he does it....drinks works drink some more etc..goes to sleep on the floor at work. He refuses my offers for him to stay at our house ( probably because i will see how much he actually does drink i dont know his reasons. He tells me that he only has a small bottle a night. And yet i know full well its 2 -3 BIG bottles of 7.5% wine everyday. i know this because of receipts and the fact that i know where he stores it and there is always 3 bottles there. He buys 6 every 2 days from 3 or 4 different shops. I have marked the bottles several times in the past gone home an in the morning not one bottle is there ive marked) I do feel as if its my family that are the ones with a problem becasue he doesnt think he has one).

The days that are really bad are the ones where he rings me at 10 at night absolutely wasted cant really string a sentence together and discusses all sorts of good times in the past and then how much things have changed etc etc and how he is ruin everyone's lives and my mother what's she done etc etc and i try to keep as silent as i can so i dont fall into it and yet every single time i end up bawling my eyes out.

I wish so hard that i could wave that little wand and help everyone with this disease because although im not an alcoholic myself i understand the trap it seals you into. I then also know first hand what it does to family standing by watching the process slowly take away the one you love.
He must realise at his arkest moments what its doing to him surely ? but then maybe not as hes that plastered he doesnt care or realise..

Oh what life throws at you huh....



ANyway sorry for wafferling..

TImzuk.......lol come on west yorkshire.... the deepest darkest dampest place in the world

Little Knux

xx:ghug