ForeverDecember

I've had an intersting few months. I told all my family about my problems, and it really hurt. I had the same response from everyone. I said to them "I have a drinking problem" and, I kid you not, all of them - my mum, my dad, my sister, my brother. all said "Yeah so?". It hurt a lot. I spoke to them all one on one, and not one of them said "I'm here for you". None of them said "That's ok we love you anyway and we want you to get help". It was like I validated their misfotunes because i am worse. It just hurt so much that they wanted to palm me off. Mum wanted to send me to a clinic so She wouldn't have to deal with me.
I lam a two minute walk from my parents house. I asked, I begged, my mum to be with me when I feel weak. Why would she rather send me away. My little sister hates me when I drink, and ignores me when I try to be sober. She told me last week when I was drunk and spoiled her night out. I had told her before that that Ihave a problem but she ignored it. I just need to be accepted for me. I am a drunk, I am an alcoholic.

least

You can't really influence your family's feelings about you, and they may have issues of their own that seem worse due to your admission of a problem. I would concentrate first and foremost on accepting yourself as a worthy human being with a severe addiction to alcohol. Once you can like yourself for who you truly are, addiction and all, you'll be further along towards overcoming your alcoholism.

I know it's very hard to like/accept ourselves when we've got an addiction to alcohol or other drugs. It can be done tho and by accepting and liking ourselves it makes it easier to deal with the addiction and overcome it. You CAN do this. Try not to give too much emotional weight to your family's dismissal of your problems. They may be fighting their own demons and your admitting to your addiction may seem to highlight their own problems.

Try to be kinder and gentler with yourself. You ARE worth it!

Twin

Stay strong! I got pretty much the same responce from my family and friends. Most of them didn't know I drank as much as I did. They would say, "oh, you just need to cut back some" or just thought I was being silly. Try to find an AA group close by! I have been going for almost 2 months to every meeting I can get to. I'm now 29 days sober, thanks to the help and support of other Alcoholics. Only another alcoholic can understand what we are going through.

Good luck!

ForeverDecember

Thank you both. I think my family don't want to accept my problems because they are scared of me having a problem. I don't blame them at all. My mum is scared because she doesn't know what to do. My dad is an alcoholic too, but he hasn't told mum or any of my brothers and sisters - he found a way to deal with it - he is probably the only one in the family who actually understands. My sister hates me, and my little brother is dissapointed in me. I like this, because it means that they don't understand, and that means that they are more likely to fight against these sort of addictions.

Pelican

Good info posted here already!

I am married. I have tried many, many times to get sober with support/help from my spouse. Everytime I sought his help, I failed. I was so disappointed that I could not get sober and stay sober. I was mad at him and myself. Then I realized something:

I have an addiction to alcohol. I can not control my drinking. It controls me. The only person in those statements is ME. My recovery requires the same formula for success. Sobriety + ME = Success!

Focus on yourself, your addiction, your reasons to recover. Own your recovery. You will be proud of yourself for what YOU can accomplish.

Yes, you do need support in this effort. We are here for you. Also, you can get support at group meetings and with new friends you make as you stay sober!

bostonluv

Stay here and post when you feel weak and/or need support. We can't always find that support through family/friends. This is the place to be where people understand.

Love,
Kathleen

Toomutch

I agree with the others, you do not need your family to keep you sober. What you need is to begin your own recovery program. SR has and always will be a huge part of my recovery.
I pray that your family will eventually open their eyes and be able to support you. Please PM me if you need to talk.

Anna

It's a hard situation to be in. I remember, when I finally stopped drinking, it was the absolute loneliest time of my life. My husband and kids were tired of me. I had no one who would reach out and offer support. But, in a way it was good, because it made me get through that time and find the strength within myself to do it.

Just focus on yourself and your recovery and yu'll be fine.

shanman422

You can do it FD, we are all here for you. This website rocks!!!

I have chosen to not say anything "YET" to many people because for one, I don't want to be influenced... such as, "you don't have a problem, you can have just one and be ok"... and because I've taken the route of telling everyone I need to stop or slow down and I quickly fail. My Mother, Husband and all you wonderful people know that I have a problem with alcohol... all I can do now is take 1 day at a time and continue to be sober... We are in this together!
:ghug3

tennis71

One of the benefits of sobriety is working on the wreckage of your past (and ideally not creating any new wreckage). Your family may not believe that you want sobriety right now. If you are like me, there is a lot of trust that needs to be re-earned and just talking about it will not win them over. Give it time.

Also consider this, just admitting that you have a problem is a great start, but sobriety takes action. What are you willing to do to get sober? Don't worry about what they have to say and let your actions speak for you. Get involved in a program of recovery. Show yourself that you can stay sober by actively working a program and eventually others will believe as well.

Most importantly, don't drink. Do it a minute at a time if you have to but don't pick up that first drink.

Thanks for sharing and I look forward to hearing more about your sobriety!

Twin

sorry, wrong thread!!

ForeverDecember

I just can't stop. I messed up tonight, and so I spend the night miserable. It's so stupid and just so easy, I logged in today to say it was day one - and I really really wanted it to be day one - , and then I just mess it up. It's so easy to hate myself and it's so much harder to be proud of myself. It's just not even.

Horselover

(((forever))) It isn't easy, is it? Don't attack yourself because of it, but you do have to want the sobriety more then anything else. You can do it. Look at the others around here that have done it and if someone seems to have information you gain from pm them or post to them. Loads of information here and believe me you aren't the only one that has relapsed more then once.

I believe you can do it, but you must believe you can do it. Don't let drinking be an option. Surrender to the alcoholism and make a plan. You will be in my thoughts today Forever.