David69

Thanks Donna! No, I am well aware that drinking is not going to correct this. The whole thing just kind of came out of the blue. I am pissed because of my kids and Xmas coming up but guess it is what it is. Part of me wants to put my fist through a wall but the other part is calm and collective. Strange but I think maybe the separation will do some good. It will either make her realize what she has done or it won't. (yes, I am not blaming myself for this due to simple facts!). I have done my job and always did......even despite the drinking. Anyway.....just another day I guess. I always believed that when you are trying to do something right, the shi# will attack you! Whether it is Karma, the devil, whatever (I know some here are not Christian but I am)....it seems to bite you in the a$$ when you are trying to get your life together. Oh well.......at least I have SR to keep me company!!! LOL

desertdonna

I'm glad to see you posting today. One foot in front of the other, and all that.

Good thoughts to you and your children.

Donna

least

I too am really sorry you've stepped on this 'land mine', especially so early in sobriety. Staying sober is difficult enough without these huge changes cropping up. I'm glad you're staying sober all the same, cause there's nothing so bad that drinking won't make it worse.

Hugs for you, my friend!:ghug3 and :praying for a workable solution for all.

desi6845

David.. Great job!! It is so hard quitting cold turkey, I am very proud of you. Just remember to stay in the moment. Some say that today is the only thing you need to worry about, but sometimes I have to take it by hours even seconds but it works for me. I try to remember what my life was like when I was drinking and this sometimes helps. Like you, I am a very productive drunk. I have maintained a healthy living, was able to control, manulipate and train those around me so I didn't have to stop drinking. Thank God I came to my senses and quit. Unlike you, I am single but I had a boyfriend and when I quit is when we started having problems. He was sick just like me... I trained him to be co-dependent, and when he started to see that I didn't need him, everything went south. He tried going to meetings but what happened was VERY ODD.....after a while of sobering up...I realized I didn't like what I SAW IN HIM.....anyway, maybe give your wife to chance to get to know the person you are sober....maybe she is scared and feeling insecure. I really hope it works out, God has a plan for you and I will pray for you and your family.
Desi

CarolD

desi6845....Welcome to our recovery community

ubfunky

You know what you sound just like me! Every day I go over how stupid I feel being drunk at a function, or stumbling around my house, or just for the fact that I drank that much alone! Then I tell myself today is the day I stop. But like you the cycle continues. It seems when night falls its time to drink. I dont even know why I drink I just do.

getr345

I did not celebrate the defeat of McCain. I have too much respect for the man...

But I sure did celebrate the victory of the man I voted for on my 30th day of sobriety.

President Barack Obama.

desi6845

Hi ubfunky. Do you have a plan or someone you can call for support tonight? You can do this!!
Desi

David69

Thanks everyone....did not mean to dump all that nonsense into the thread. I was just pissed and looking for an outlet (other than drinking myself into a coma). Normally I keep my things bottled up and let them steam until I go off or go on a bender. Not this time.....decided to vent here which while puts my life a little more public than I wish but still keeps me sober! Anyway, thanks all for the posts......much appreciated.

desertdonna

This is a very good place for venting. Plenty of people have been in the same situation. When you reveal a little of what's going on in your life it helps...you and everyone else.

Hang tough in your sobriety. Let us know how you are.

Kind thoughts,

Donna

David69

Yes, the venting helped. Not sure what the hell is going on at home. Now I am asked to forget about the whole damn thing and "can we just forget all of this happened". Wow....makes me laugh and wonder if I am living with a crazy person. LOL..... The mind screw taking place is almost is almost comical. No other way to put it. What type of person would play this sick game? If I didn’t laugh about it I would have to flip out. I guess it is somewhat fortuitous that I am self aware and that this happened at this point into my recovery as opposed to the first few days. At least now I am at a point where I can laugh a bit while wondering what the F is going on. Sometimes I wonder how mankind (or womenkind...not wanting to offend the ladies) has survived this long. We are SO different! We honestly think nothing alike and technically should not ever be together. If I didn't love women so much I would swear them off forever and become a monk!!! :-D But that won't happen so I have to keep on taking cold showers and feeling like I have learned nothing about the opposite sex! After 39 yrs of living I feel less educated about ladies now than I did when I was 13. You all are a very complicated species. (I want my damn rib back!). LOL

Pam08

Hi David, congratulations on your sobriety, it is a struggle as I well know. I am 9 days today, after alot of relapses, this time I am working it as hard as I can. Doing for me..Anyway I can sorta relate, although it is my husband who has backed off. He does not have someone so he says, but he has cheated in the past so who knows for sure. He has become distant and mean to me. Relationships are so hard. I do know that I am now taking care of me, and putting him on back burner, I have to, or I will fall. I guess what I am saying is your changing, she is changing, and time will tell. I think if a couple can survive getting sober, they can survive probably anything in life. Good luck and keep posting.

David69

Thanks for the post Pam. Congratulations to your 9 days! Way to go. It is a daily challenge and I wish you the best. I totally agree with your thoughts (taking care of me)....as I am doing the same. Anyway, thanks for posting and good to you as well!

bumble2008123

No, sorry you can't have your rib back. We like it here. :P
Congratulations on staying strong and true to your mission regardless of what's going on at home. I know how those things can derail a person so easily. You are doing such a great job and don't forget for a second that there are a bunch of us here rooting for you!

3rd day and going strong, though sleep would be nice....

David69

Thanks Bumble. Figured I would not get my rib back.....but it worth a shot.

Congrats on your 3 days! Yes, sleep will come......just takes a few days to start getting back to normal (whatever normal is). Good luck and thanks again!

Ananda

I waited several days to respond to this

Sure, it would be nice to have the things you described...maybe...not even sure about that.....but what most women I know want in a relationship has very little if anything to do with the things you describe as being so wonderful.

what about compassion, love, shared activites, respect, an equal say in the relationship, being seen as an atractive partner who is just as important to the maintance of the relationship and is valued, being treated as a smart and sucesssful person in your own right?

Just something to think about.

Ananda

Sorry Dave....I really don't know you well enough to be going on like that...my own issues got the better of me

It's too late to edit it, and besides....it's already posted and probably read so an apology seems the best resolution to my momentary loss of sanity

bumble2008123

psst ananda he thanked you for your post. *winks*

David69

Oh ananda......I already emailed you about that post. You have nothing to be sorry for and nothing to apologize for (as I told you in the email)
This is what this forum is all about.....people talking about their issues and others throwing in their thoughts and experiences. No worries from me! I believe strongly in this open format and like the feedback from everyone. So relax....all is good. Please don't think for a second that I am remotely upset by anything you wrote.....I HONESTLY am not. Thank you for the apology but it really is not necessary.

David69

Thanks steamvessel for the post. I could not agree with you more. You sound like you got a good grip on what you want. I really like being sober.....it is not much different than my drinking days really.....just less expensive and I remember what I said or did the night before! I used to hate having to feel people out (family or friends) the day after to see if I had made an ass out of myself. Yeah, who wants to live like that!!! Anyway, I wish you continued success staying sober. Thanks again for the post.