Serenidad

I go to a few meetings that DO NOT allow children. They are CLOSED AA meetings which means that only alcoholics can attend. The other meetings are cool with it. I am glad, bacause I have 3 little kids and sometimes I have to take them. Sometimes it is either take them, or don't go to a meeting at all! Uggg!

Thanks2HP

I'd prefer not to have children present but would much rather the person be in the meeting with their kids than to not go because he or she couldn't get a sitter.

My girlfriend noticed a woman taking her cranky child outside several times. She had a look on her face that said she needed a meeting so my gf went outside and told her she'd watch her child while the woman went back into the meeting.

I've been in many meetings where kids had to be taken outside by their parent. I don't mind that at all. I also remember one meeting my sponsor at the time was asked to speak at. He had 10 years at the time and it was probably good for him to have his patience tested (I'd say that for just about anyone, myself included) as there was one child there that was really disrupting the meeting. Running around and screaming. It made it very difficult for anyone to hear his share. The mother ignored a lot of "looks" from people. My sponsor did the best he could to not show irritation but it was obvious to most (I believe) that the mom should have taken the child out of the meeting. Of course I guess that someone could have called for a group conscience or spoke up in some manner. This was a meeting that was in a town 30 or 40 miles away and I know I didn't feel comfortable saying anything in another fellowship.

For the most part though, parents seem to do what is right for the meeting.

Peace

Surlyredhead

My Son is a recovery baby, he has been to meetings with me and his Father since birth, (Dad is in NA, I attend both but am an Alcoholic) He also attends dances, picnics and conventions. He has seen relapse, arrest, and even death in the members....HOWEVER, he has also seen Anniversary celebrations, marriages, births, graduations, people getting healthy and people helping people, just because it is the right thing to do! He is at a meeting with his Father right now....hanging out with another members Son who is the same age (13). I like the fact that he has seen the devastating effects of drug and alcohol abuse, I hope it will help him to avoid what I did to myself...and I am extremely glad that he sees what life can be clean and serene, and that we really can have fun sober!!! I swear, the sponsors check on him too, see how his grades are, how he is behaving etc. Like Nonny's Grandchildren, everyone knows who he is and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cathy

ingear

Thanks ladies for the feedback! It has helped me so much. I had a situation where I took my daughter to a meeting I had never attended and they voted her into another room so we left.
I realize now it was a closed meeting. Duh. It was still kind of rude, they could have just said something casually to me.
I still won't go back there but in the future I will pay attention to which meetings are OPEN and which are CLOSED.
My home group is cool about it either way. My daughter is very good in the meetings.
I loved hearing about the kids going all the time, I think that is a great idea, it's been good for us. Our other daughter goes too, and my husband too! We are just an AA/NA family. :ghug

zendust

According to the 12 Traditions, each group is autonomous and utilized the business meeting to address and vote on such situations. Once voted upon, it is considered "Group Conscience".

At our women's meeting we read at the opening: Children are welcome, however please keep them quietly entertained so that we can share and hear other's share for our sobriety.

We haven't had much of a problem. Other women pitch in when the mother needs to share.

Ask around, you'll find meetings that are "kid friendly".

ingear

This group did a group conscience vote right then with my daughter sitting there. It was very uncomfortable and unnecessary.

lizw

I've heard some weird stories about this kind of thing happen. We all go to meetings because we're unwell eh?

One time, my daughter (8) and two other children (8 & 10) were playing outside a meeting and this old guy called a conscience meeting and tried to vote them away, even though the meeting was an open one and when that didn't work he stormed off outside, walked right up to the kids and gave them the 1 finger salute. This guy has mental problems despite being sober 30+ years.

Of course the kids came rushing back in, and in hushed voices were telling us what he did. They weren't scared but rather excited that they got to do the 1 finger salute too, without getting told off!

Latte

When I first got sober I took my youngest to meetings with me. She was three and we had special toys that she only played with in meetings. I would bring her lunch (out to lunch bunch meetings) and her toys and her blanky. She would eat, play with her special toys and then fall asleep.

No one ever watched their mouth etc. and my kid was in her own world anyway. I would never have done that with my other daughter but younger dd was good with it.

Lily

Children are allowed in open meetings where I am from period. I am one who HAS to bring my 5 yr old to meetings cuz my husband works 2nd shift. I cannot afford 15 bucks in babysitting as $5.00 is the going rate per hr. I would rather bring my son to a meeting, then not go to a meeting. (I just got my 9 month chip)

However, that said, I always bring his portable DVD player, but him on the carpet by an outlet with his ear buds on and have him watch an hour movie. I remind him he cannot bother me during the meeting because this is my time. He actually does pretty good. Tuesday night was a speaker meeting and he was awesome. I did hear the speaker spell the F word at one point, I am sure it was because of my son and he was not aware he had ear buds in. That was nice of him. While I do not expect others to be censored, sometimes ppl cuz too much anyway. :-D

I am sorry if others are uncomfortable, but that is just what I have to do. Most ppl are really nice though.

zendust

I agree. That does seem a bit harsh.

Oh well, some are thicker than others.