least

Welcome to a great place for support and hope and experiences. We share our stories of success and failure and learn from each other. You've come to the right place!

rubyslippers

Thanks for these words. It's really hard to come to terms with this but I'm doing OK so far. You're right. I am many other things, too. It's just that the alcohol has a way of overshadowing everything else. Countless times, I've lost every shred of dignity imaginable when drinking only to swear it off altogether in the aftermath. Eventually, when I'm sort of OK and back to normal, I imagine myself being able to enjoy a few drinks socially. Ha! Fat chance of that! Very quickly, it becomes even worse than I ever remembered it being in the past. Additionally, I've come so far in the sober times (i.e. got married, bought a house, became a parent, graduated from college, bound for law school, walking with Jesus, etc..) that I have so much more to lose than before. That's what makes it all the more terrifying. For example, I almost blew my chance of getting into law school last Saturday night when I was inches from being arrested. My family and I have worked for countless hours over several years to afford this opportunity and I was willing to let it go for a night of debauchery. YIKES!!! This thing is killer that swallows you whole!!!

Tazman53

Ruby my name is Martin and I am an alcoholic!

Am I labeling myself? No, I am simply stating a fact, acknowledging that fact for me is very empowering, admitting that, allows me to accept the fact that once I put alcohol into my body I lose all power I have over alcohol is what allowed me to begin a journey that has resulted in me being given the gift of not even wanting a drink any more.

I have found out that being an alcoholic is not the end of the world, for me, thanks to the 12 steps and the fellowship of AA I have begun a new life, a happy, joyous and free life. Not only have I become free from alcohol, I have gained freedom from self.

Label.... for me no, it is part of what I am, there was a day and a time when I could not go a single day with out having to have a drink that I viewed being an alcoholic as a label of shame and disgrace, being a recovered alcoholic all me to be free of that shame and disgrace, I could care less if some one knows I am an alcoholic, the one thing I can no longer be called is a drunk! That shoe fit me perfect for a lot of years.

The difference between an alcoholic and a drunk? An alcoholic goes to meetings.

rubyslippers

Thanks Tazman. I really hope to attain your level of confidence someday. I certainly don't think any less of people who admit they are alcoholics. Somehow, the standards I judge myself by are much, much harsher than I would ever dream of holding others to. I guess that's part of it for me. Growing up in an alcoholic family, for years I took it upon myself to win prestige and respect for my family. One day, however, I just snapped. I rebelled big time against the rigid structure imposed on me as a member of an alcoholic family. I fell from grace big time!! Ever since, I've been swinging between two opposite extremes. When I'm sober, I'm usually trying to conquer the world. When I'm drunk, I'm content to let the world fall down on me. I just want to find a middle ground and feel ok about myself for once in my life.

nogard

Welcome to SR

rubyslippers

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, especially considering the chaos I was feeling yesterday. I've been sober for 6 days and it seems like I've experienced a ton of emotions during that time. My stomach has been hurting all week, though. I suspect that's due in part to being upset/worried over the epiphany that I am addicted to alcohol. Also, I've done some reading this week and it would seem that alcohol isn't the only monkey on my back. I've also been addicted to food, sex, lortab, shopping, achievement, and many other things intermittantly over the years. I'm going to have to learn how not to trade one addiction/obsession for another. Enough said...