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-   -   Am I an alcoholic? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/160069-am-i-alcoholic.html)

Enemdio 10-19-2008 12:29 PM

Am I an alcoholic?
 
I'm 49, happily married with 3 kids, good health, good job, but I'm increasingly concerned about how much I drink. About 6 nights a week I drink one and a half bottles of red wine (My wife drinks the remaining half) between 5:30pm and 9:30pm. This is about 80 units a week!

I've been doing this for the last 15 years and I'm worried about possible long-term damage, though a recent comprehensive medical showed none so far.

I don't have blackouts, or DUI, I never get aggressive or miss work - in fact wife and kids think I'm happier on the wine! I guess I do kind of organise my evenings around drinking - we rarely go out - instead we cook at home.

I'm currently on day 7 of a self-imposed 28 day alcohol break. Surprisingly, I've had no withdrawals except weird dreams and early waking for the first 4 days and I even seem to be enjoying feeling clear-headed. But the thought of giving up drinking forever is a daunting one.

I'm confident I'll finish my 28 day abstinence OK, but what then? I'm kind of an all-or-nothing peson, so I guess it would be back to the almost everyday drinking or total cessation.

I've been skulking around the forum for a week or so and registered today. What do you guys think? :wtf2

ANGELINA243 10-19-2008 12:38 PM

Welcome! Glad you are here! :) Just because you don't have blackouts or have not gotten a DUI doesn't mean that you are excluded from possibly being alcoholic. Only you can diagnose yourself--no one else can diagnose you>or tell you that you are. Two questions that are helpful (from AA BIg Book)--1. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, 2. or If when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

Either way--if you think drinking has become or might be a problem for you--then you may perhaps want to look into what you can do about it before it gets worse. :hug:

Enemdio 10-19-2008 12:56 PM

Thanks, Angelina. Well, yes, if I don't want to drink then I don't - but it's not very often that I don't want to... I had a week off before a 20 mile running race recently to clear my system - ended up dropping out of a race for the first time ever in my life!

No, I never get out of control - it's weird - I drink 9 or at the most 10 glasses and suddenly I've no desire at all for another drink - I'll even leave half a glass because I can't face it.

Seems like I'm addicted to 9 glasses of wine - no more or less - 6 days a week.

tommyk 10-19-2008 01:08 PM

I generally tend to associate an 'alcoholic' with someone who has an alcohol related problem, and/or someone who cannot quit using alcohol.

But - there is probably not a more argued subject than what does and does not constitute an alcoholic.

Welcome to the forum General, many of us are here if you need us. ;)

least 10-19-2008 01:12 PM

No matter what or how much or how often you drink, if you think you have a problem, it's likely you do or you wouldn't be worrying/thinking about it. If you can go without drinking anything for 28 days you may not have a problem, but if you find yourself thinking a lot about it, missing it or planning when you can drink again, then you just may have a problem.

All those bad things that haven't happened to you yet, may happen at any time. I never got a DUI but I was just lucky. I didn't lose my kids, but I lost their respect. I didn't lose my rental home, but I came close from being so far behind in rent. I don't want to chance it happening again, so it's best if I never drink again. I don't miss it either, as the last half year of my short but brilliant drinking career had too much pain and misery from alcohol.

I wish you success in whatever you decide to do. You can get lots of support and information here to help you decide.

:ghug3

flutter 10-19-2008 01:32 PM

Holy smokes if I drank 9 glasses of wine a night I'd be toast!

Welcome here :) I am an alcoholic, I haven't had a DUI, I haven't missed work, and I don't get aggressive either. I just know that I can't drink, because of many other reasons. Only you can figure that part out.

Stick around, you'll find a lot of great information, and awesome people here!!

Hevyn 10-19-2008 01:33 PM

Hi General - I completely agree with Least. You're concerned, and there's a reason for that. The problem for me became tolerance - when I was still in my 40's I was drinking about the way you are. 5 yrs. later, that "small" amount of wine wouldn't have done a thing for me. I remember long ago getting trashed on 2 or 3 beers. In the end, I drank 100 proof vodka almost all day long, & no amount took me where I wanted to go. Not saying this would happen to you, but that was my experience.

So glad to meet you and hope you keep posting - you've found a wonderful group of people to share your feelings with.

Enemdio 10-19-2008 01:55 PM

Thanks all - you've given me a lot to think about and a great deal of heartwarming support in the 30 minutes we've known each other! I'll keep you posted on the 28 day thing and then I'll have to make a decision.

Must say it was strange - not necesarily bad - not to be drinking on Friday/Saturday/Sunday nights - this is big style family time for us with lots of food, wine, wrestling with the kids, etc. It was fine, but the thought of not drinking ever again is an interesting one. How do you negotiate Christmas and New Year, for example?

Patchman 10-19-2008 02:55 PM

Hi General
I joined today to cos I drink nearly everyday about same units as you. I went to Afghan for 6 months in 2006 so no chance for alcohol, and I was fine, no cravings, but then as soon as i back i drank most days, I have done since I was 21 (im 39 now) and was posted to cyprus for 3 years so it was always in the fridge often drinking just 2 or 3 cans a night but every night.

I came to this forum today and posted a thread cos I'm losing my short term memory especially peoples names.
I think its alcohol related. I also tend to play poker online especially when drinking and thats becoming a real problem.
Cos tonight no beer no inkling to play poker. I hate the game its killing my bank balance..

I got no beer in house today my wife was gonna nip down the shop for a bottle of wine but then declined, I cooked Sunday dinner with no wine, Wow thats a big deal I love a glass of wine when cooking and listening to a CD gives me a real buzz

Am i an alky, ?? i dont think so but I certainly enjoy it and the 80 - 100 units a week is now impairing my memory and liver I'm sure of it. Its also so fattening since Afghan when i went from 15 stone to 14 stone im now near 16 stone thats not good im big build and 6ft but still weighing over 110 kg when i used to weigh 90kg is bad

Keep in Touch

Horselover 10-19-2008 03:04 PM


Originally Posted by General (Post 1950042)
How do you negotiate Christmas and New Year, for example?

Welcome General and this being my FIRST non-alcoholic Christmas and New Years, probably the same as any other day - one day at a time or then maybe hour by hour or minute by minute or whatever gets the job done.

CarolD 10-19-2008 06:44 PM

Hello General...:)


According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control

Moderate drinking is no more than
2 drinks a day for men..1 for women

They consider a drink to be
12 oz. of beer..5 oz. of wine...1 1/2 oz of liquor.

Your body and mind processes all 3 toxins equally
so drinking only wine or only liquor or only beer
or mixing them is of no importance.
They all do the same damage.

Obviously...you are way above 2 drinks.
Alcoholic or not.....you are causing
potential health problems.
I'm glad you are trying sobriety.

Blessings to you and your family

coffeenut 10-19-2008 06:50 PM

If you are skulking around the forum....you probably know the answers you are looking for. By the way, it's an excellent place to skulk.

And for what it's worth..learning to live without alcohol has been one of the best things I've ever done. Worth every moment.

Anna 10-19-2008 06:53 PM

Hi General,

Welcome!

I'm glad you found us and I hope you will get through the 28 days!

I found that stopping drinking was the beginning. Then the real work began. Drinking, in my opinion, is a symptom and I had to deal with the underlying problems.

freshstart 10-19-2008 07:23 PM

I usually find that if I have to ask myself if I have a problem with something, be it booze, pills... whatever... i more than likely have a problem. If I'm asking it means I see symptoms of addiction and I have a problem with it. But that's just me.

HopeTo180 10-19-2008 08:00 PM


Originally Posted by General (Post 1949936)

I've been doing this for the last 15 years...

I guess I do kind of organise my evenings around drinking...

I'm confident I'll finish my 28 day abstinence OK, but what then?

What do you guys think? :wtf2

The moment you find drinking an integral part of your routine, you've got a problem. I think it's great that you've taken the challenge to stop for 30 days but during this time please work on your routine. It must be re-worked.

Take a nice drive after dinner.
Take a nice walk around the neighborhood.
Go to an Ice Cream parlor (at night).
Catch up on all that you've robbed yourself of while drinking.
Go to a movie.
Go for a massage.
Take your wife to dinner.
Search for, and visit your local attractions.
Go to the park.
Find a Hot Tub in your area.
Go to a driving range (this is more fun if you don't play golf)
Find anything to do at night.
Make a goody list to pick from each night.
Night time should now be your time for enjoyment.

If you change your routine to one that is truly living, chances are, you'll never desire alcohol again. Alcohol keeps you from living, in fact, it cuts living short. Alcohol is an accumulative poison. It is a trap. It's taking the easy way to an artificial sense of wellbeing. There is nothing good that can come from alcohol, especially when it becomes routine. Prayers

NewDayNow 10-19-2008 08:37 PM

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. drinking too much eventually turns into drinking way too much.

Boleo 10-19-2008 08:41 PM

It is not so much how much or how often you drink that defines alcoholism.

It is rather signs of progression, lack of control and negative consequences that determine alcoholic behavior. The 3 questions that you should be asking yourself are;

1. Do I drink more than I used to?

2. Do I drink more than I intend to?

3. Do I do things that I regret later?

tobefree4me 10-19-2008 09:01 PM

Hi General,
Glad your here. I've read different things. There are some studies that say on a cellular level continued drinking changes the shape of our cells. It is normally round, but with the continued, constant alcohol consumption the cell starts to turn into an oblong shape in order to conform to the intake of the high concentrate of sugar that alcohol has. Some say that continued use of alcohol will change the cellular shape and no matter who you are, the body will conform and become addicted. Other studies say that acetaldehyde (the poision in alcohol) and how our body breaks this down in the liver will determine who will become alcoholic and who won't. Some people's makeup breaks down acetaldehyde differently than others. There are other studies with regard to brain function and how it may change with constant intake of alcohol. Other study may tell you alcoholism is genetic! Well, I certainly can't tell you whether you may or may not be addicted, and I am definately not a scientist, or doctor, but, I sure realized a change in my body when I started drinking daily for over a year. That's when I started to question whether I was in control of my drinking or whether my drinking was in control of me. I realized that my drinking was in control of me. It was and is scary for me. I just quit drinking October 2nd when I found this forum. Whether you decide you are alcoholic or not, you will definately be educated, inspired and know that if you choose sobriety, the people here will become a great support to you. Good luck in your search.

Eyes2TheSoul 10-19-2008 09:03 PM

I'm not the youngest of people. Heading towards 41.
I also have no DUI's but I did lose a job when I drank.

Regardless of that, do you think your body will hold up to that consumption? I know mine is struggling. I often "make noises" when I get out of bed. Like ugh...ooch...grrrr.
My point is that it might catch up to you possibly. We are machines. You need to give that machine the best possible care you can. Do you change your car oil often??? Take care of yourself like you would something you had to pay for. Value yourself!

I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Welcome to SR.

Enemdio 10-20-2008 09:12 AM

Thanks all. Coming to the end of day 8. So far, so good. Had some good news today - a lump has turned out to be benign rather than something serious - funny how the good stuff always makes you want to celebrate with a drink. I won't though.


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