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Afraid, and not sober

Old 10-19-2008, 04:02 AM
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Afraid, and not sober

I need to drink when I get up, or else I feel like my heart might stop beating.
My hangovers make LSD trips seem like a game of checkers. (no, I havn't done LSD in years)
When I drink my face turns red and eventually I get scared.

There is no meaning to my life.
But
I'm afraid to die. Am I going to die?
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Old 10-19-2008, 04:07 AM
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yes, were all going to die...

when we put the drink down, we can make our stay here way better, and for everyone else we come in contact with...

if you want it, you can do it...

good wishes wk

rz
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Old 10-19-2008, 04:09 AM
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Thank you...
but is the drink going to kill me soon?
Could I die tomorrow?
I always feel like a could.


I hate to sound so annoying and desperate but I am!

I don't really know what I want. If I could have a steady stream I would be happy until I die....but it doesn't work that way.
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Old 10-19-2008, 04:21 AM
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yes you are enoying and desperate, i was just like you...

thats cronic alcoholism, and insanity...

everyday i thought i was going to die...

it was exausting keeping up the pace...

my liver and kindnys were shutting down...

then i said, i HAVE TO STOP, or i want to Die...

i put everything in me to reach out, ask for help, and take the plunge...

i detoxed, got a recovery program, and my life is way better... life aint, just my reaction to it...

you can do it

many of us have...

i do suggest seeing a good Doc, being 100% honest, and taking it from there...

one day at a time....
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Old 10-19-2008, 04:26 AM
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Thank you.
Thank you.

I have no people for opinions in my life anymore.
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Old 10-19-2008, 04:28 AM
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welcome
welcome

suggestion... get help now!
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Old 10-19-2008, 04:32 AM
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You could call the AA hotline. It's a 24 hr service.

I know how your feeling, been there.
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Old 10-19-2008, 05:09 AM
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Hi WitchKings, welcome to SR.

Assuming that you want to stop drinking, I strongly urge you to see a doctor as soon as possible; it is possible to withdraw from alcohol safely under a doctor's supervision. You should definitely not undertake withdrawal on your own, as doing so can be very dangerous.

Like Rusty said, be 100% honest with your health care provider - alcohol addiction is nothing to be ashamed of, and your doctor should be able to handle the situation accordingly. Simply follow his/her instructions; monitored withdrawal can be slightly uncomfortable but it's very doable.

After detoxing safely, you will probably need additional support to mantain sobriety. Check out the different programs available to you, such as AA or SMART. Reaching out for help is the best way to approach addiction.

Admitting that you have a problem is a huge positive step in the right direction: congratulations There is a lot of support and encouragement available to you in these forums if you decide to stick around.

Originally Posted by witchkings View Post
There is no meaning to my life.
Very sorry you feel this way right now. Though this may not be the time to start a philosophical debate, rest reassured that, should you choose to focus on a sober life, you should be able to find new meaning. My opinion is that life is a gift, and that it's our responsibility to find *personal* meaning to make it worthwhile.

Good luck, hope to hear from you soon Please be safe.
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Old 10-19-2008, 07:18 AM
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Welcome to SR....

Have you considered having an honest talk with your doctor
about your drinking?
That would be the wisest thing to do before abruptly quitting.

Keep posting with us...many of us are winning over alcohol.
So can you.
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Old 10-19-2008, 07:55 AM
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I have been where you are....I got myself to the emergency room the first time (don't drive...take a cab). The last time I called someone from AA to drive me to a 30 day treatment center. Just said the heck with my job, my house and my family.....I was out of options....

Best thing i ever did....and i knew that by the time i was 2 mos sober...i'm 14 mos sober now and as Matt refered to...i now have purpose and meaning in my life....It is a wonderful journey with a scary start!

Please call your doctor.
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Old 10-19-2008, 09:01 AM
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I put off quitting because all of the "detox can be deadly" talk scared me. When I did quit, I knew the drink was going to kill me sooner rather than later. Desperate? Yeah. Alone? That was me too.

Please, call your doctor. Which is worse, the brief embarrassment of being honest about your drinking, or keeping on as you are? For me it was the latter.

It can and will get better, if you want it to.
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Old 10-19-2008, 09:11 AM
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I remember those thoughts of impending doom. Feelings of terror, bewilderment, frustration, despair. I felt hopeless, ashamed, afraid. I couldn't imagine life with/without alcohol. But I eventually began to see that I was slowly killing myself--that drinking wasn't adding anything positive to my life--not like I thought it did in the beginning anyway. There is hope! You no longer have to be afraid. Help is out there. And yes, like what was mentioned earlier--detox on your own can be deadly--especially with what you have described already. Seeing a medical professional is very important. And also being honest with them is key--not only to sobriety--but to your life. Keep posting. Keep reaching out. You are not alone.
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Old 10-19-2008, 09:15 AM
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Please choose to Live!
I lost a friend recently to this disease.
It's not worth it.

Welcome. Please stick around.
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Old 10-19-2008, 11:38 AM
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It took me many false starts to quit drinking for good, but I never gave up trying even tho I felt hopeless over my constant relapsing. But when I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, then I was able to stay sober. You can too.

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