mike13

i'm really trying hard to just be happy with myself as i am. i feel like with everything i've done and the person i've become, i'm someone now who doesn't deserve respect or love from myself. it doesnt matter how many people have forgiven me or accept me, i still feel like i dont love who i am. i dont know how to. i really want to know how it feels to wake up and be happy with the person i am. i really need some advice on how to do this.

JPat

Mike - I can't really give you advice, but i know how you feel. I'm struggling with that myself - I really just don't like myself and who I've turned out to be. I used to say I hated myself, so I guess that is a step up?

I do know I like myself better when I don't drink, but self love is something I can't seem to do, and I know it contributes to why I drink so much...I just don't care.

What do you like about yourself? What are your talents? Maybe that can be a starting point... Take care! :ghug3

ANGELINA243

Have you allowed yourself to forgive yourself for your past? I had to do that before I could move on. I still don't know whether I love myself just yet--or even like myself some days....but one thing I know--I'm ok with me today, and that's a start in the right direction.

CarolD

What really started me on feeling confident and likeing me
is when I began my formal AA Step work.

Steps 4 & 5 took away my remorse and guilt
so I could change into the person I wanted to be.


I certainly hope you will find your anser Mike

LetItSnow

I am right there with you. Just recently sober, kind-of...sort of on and off, but recently mostly on. My choices have been / are killing relationships. Now, I wonder, how can I love anyone else if I don't even love myself. A lot of shame, guilt, and self-disappointment.

I think Angelina has hit it on the nose. It starts with forgiving yourself. I have been working on that one for many years as my rollercoaster has taken me through many deep deep pits. I have always been extremely hard on myself so my addictions are things that I have extreme difficulty in accepting and forgiving and letting go.

Don't try to be a perfectionist. I have found that with perfectionism I always fall short and fail. I can't be perfect, but I can be me. So, personally, I have much work to do to be the me I want to be. I truly believe it can be done and that I can live a happy and content life with myself. I have just been too afraid to seek the help I know deep down I need. I have been afraid because with seeking help, I will have admitted my shortcomings and all my dirty little secrets will be exposed. My denial is extremely powerful and has ruled my life for a very long time.

Sorry if that sounds odd or doesn't make sense. Sometimes I have a difficulty explaining what I mean. Just know that I am right there with you. I'm sure there are many others as well.

four812

thanks for your honest sharing mike. most anyone in recovery is close the these thoughts you are expressing, either in their past or in their present.

for me....it is in the present