What is happening to SR?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
What is happening to SR?
What is going on here lately?
Why? Why are people so sensitive lately? Why are we fighting amongst ourselves so much? Why are so MANY experimenting with this disease?
I came to SR in May of this year and it was such an open and welcoming place to be. People came on here and were so overwhelmed with support. They seemed to really reach out for help and took advice from those that had walked in their shoes and they really made an effort to better their situations. There weren't these personal walls that have been built up lately.
I hope this is just a freak thing because I would hate to see people give up on this site. I personally would be lost without it.
In the last couple of hours I have seen 3 people stomp off angry. In the last 24 hours I have seen too many to count leave. I have somebody on SR that I am extremely worried about and she has yet to return.
If people are acting a little harsh on the ones that are still going out its because they have been watching people drop for the last 24 to 48 hours and it puts fear into oneself. You feel a bond with people and when you know why they're here and you watched and read their struggle, its hard to just accept this another part of the disease. I agree with those that are angry with the disease because it isn't fair when it takes our friends and whispers in their ears all the lies they need to hear to give it up.
I had to vent and I hope others will not take it the wrong way. I am not pointing fingers. I am frustrated and I am sad, but I am not blaming the people only the damn disease.
Why? Why are people so sensitive lately? Why are we fighting amongst ourselves so much? Why are so MANY experimenting with this disease?
I came to SR in May of this year and it was such an open and welcoming place to be. People came on here and were so overwhelmed with support. They seemed to really reach out for help and took advice from those that had walked in their shoes and they really made an effort to better their situations. There weren't these personal walls that have been built up lately.
I hope this is just a freak thing because I would hate to see people give up on this site. I personally would be lost without it.
In the last couple of hours I have seen 3 people stomp off angry. In the last 24 hours I have seen too many to count leave. I have somebody on SR that I am extremely worried about and she has yet to return.
If people are acting a little harsh on the ones that are still going out its because they have been watching people drop for the last 24 to 48 hours and it puts fear into oneself. You feel a bond with people and when you know why they're here and you watched and read their struggle, its hard to just accept this another part of the disease. I agree with those that are angry with the disease because it isn't fair when it takes our friends and whispers in their ears all the lies they need to hear to give it up.
I had to vent and I hope others will not take it the wrong way. I am not pointing fingers. I am frustrated and I am sad, but I am not blaming the people only the damn disease.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Egos, emotions, frustrations and people that are still drinking.
That's what's going on.
If the people drinking would stop, the frustrated ones that still care could let their emotions go back to neutral and the drinkers/users emotions could start to mature. I'm afraid I don't have a solution for egoists.
That's what's going on.
If the people drinking would stop, the frustrated ones that still care could let their emotions go back to neutral and the drinkers/users emotions could start to mature. I'm afraid I don't have a solution for egoists.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I don't know HL. I've never seen SR quite like this and I've been here a while.
A friend and I had an idea it might be the uncertain times of the world having an impact, but I think it goes beyond that.
In the end whatever I conjecture is just that - conjecture.
For myself - maybe I've been too closely investing myself here lately - I still don't think that's a bad thing, but maybe I need to go away and look at my boundaries?
This is a deadly disease and I'll do anything I can to help others, but I think I've forgotten the three Cs from time to time lately- I didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it.
I hate it - but sometimes we have to let ppl go and do whatever they have to.
I'm sick today anyway so I'm no good to anyone, but I need to find a balance between caring and not getting buried in others denial and misery.
looking forward to other comments on this
D
A friend and I had an idea it might be the uncertain times of the world having an impact, but I think it goes beyond that.
In the end whatever I conjecture is just that - conjecture.
For myself - maybe I've been too closely investing myself here lately - I still don't think that's a bad thing, but maybe I need to go away and look at my boundaries?
This is a deadly disease and I'll do anything I can to help others, but I think I've forgotten the three Cs from time to time lately- I didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it.
I hate it - but sometimes we have to let ppl go and do whatever they have to.
I'm sick today anyway so I'm no good to anyone, but I need to find a balance between caring and not getting buried in others denial and misery.
looking forward to other comments on this
D
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hey friends,
I was just wondering if it was the full moon? ??????
Dee, I like your three C's. Can I borrow that?
Didn't cause it,
Can't control it,
Can't cure it.
Simple truth, I like it.
I find myself going through my day and wondering if people I last posted with are gonna be okay when I get home and log onto SR again. I'm still on the emotional rollercoaster, so I don't know if my feelings are stable. Sometimes I think I should exercise caution and not be overly concerned (attachment). Yet I also don't want to loose compassion (mercy) for my fellow addicts. No answers here, just observations.
BTW, I really respect everything you do here for others!
I was just wondering if it was the full moon? ??????
Dee, I like your three C's. Can I borrow that?
Didn't cause it,
Can't control it,
Can't cure it.
Simple truth, I like it.
I find myself going through my day and wondering if people I last posted with are gonna be okay when I get home and log onto SR again. I'm still on the emotional rollercoaster, so I don't know if my feelings are stable. Sometimes I think I should exercise caution and not be overly concerned (attachment). Yet I also don't want to loose compassion (mercy) for my fellow addicts. No answers here, just observations.
BTW, I really respect everything you do here for others!
God's Kid
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,820
Maybe I been posting in the wrong place/forum as it all seems the same to me but I only been here since July this year.
The other day I was wondering what it would be like to sit in meetings with some of you.... No offence to those who don't go to meetings either. It was more like a 'would I behave differently if I was in meetings as opposed to how I behave in the cyber world' question to myself.
And I haven't reached a firm answer on that one, as there have been things I have said on here that I wouldn't say in meetings but there are also things I have said in meetings that I would never say on here, just because I think they may offend people. It's quite hard to say 'something with kindness' via typing. The internet makes things rather emotionless. IMO.
I'm loking forward to reading others replies too.
The other day I was wondering what it would be like to sit in meetings with some of you.... No offence to those who don't go to meetings either. It was more like a 'would I behave differently if I was in meetings as opposed to how I behave in the cyber world' question to myself.
And I haven't reached a firm answer on that one, as there have been things I have said on here that I wouldn't say in meetings but there are also things I have said in meetings that I would never say on here, just because I think they may offend people. It's quite hard to say 'something with kindness' via typing. The internet makes things rather emotionless. IMO.
I'm loking forward to reading others replies too.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
thanks for the reminder of the 3 c's Dee
I, too, have a tendency to get really involved in what's going on with some people here. But I've had to learn that it's not personal. I have friends here who I've seen through many, many relapses.
I do the best I can do, and then I have to let it go.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I, too, have a tendency to get really involved in what's going on with some people here. But I've had to learn that it's not personal. I have friends here who I've seen through many, many relapses.
I do the best I can do, and then I have to let it go.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
HL, i think its a good time to repost this...
this is from the "About Us" on my recovery website
"Hello old friend"
Iv'e come to visit once again.
I live to see you suffer: physically, spiritual, and socially.
I want to make you restless so you can never relax.
I want you to be jumpy, nervious and anxious.
I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything; and everybody makes you uncomfortable.
I want you to be confused and depressed so you cant think clearly or positively.
I want you to hate everything, and everybody, including your self.
I want you to feel guily and remorsefull for the things you have done in the past that you'll never be able to let go.
I want to make you angry and hatefull toward the world for the way it is, and the way you are.
I want you to be decitfull and untrustworthy, and to manipulate and con as manny people for no reason at all.
I want you to wake up durring all hours of the night and scream for me.
You know you cant sleep without me. I'm even in your dreams...
I want to be the first thing you think of when you wakeup in the morning, and the last thing you touch before you go to sleep if you can.
I would rather kill you. But i'll be happy enough to put you back in the hospital, anmother insitution or jail. But you know, I'll stil be waiting for you when you get out.
I love to watch you go slowly insane.
I love to see all the physical damage that i'm causing you.
I cant help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake... when you freeze and sweat at the same time. When you wake with the sheets soaking wet.
It's amuseing to watch.
Its amazing how much destruction i can do on your internal organs while at the same time i work on your brain, destroying it bit, by bit!
I deeply appreciate how much you have sacrificed for me; the countless jobs; all the fine friends that you deeply cared for and you gave up for me; and whats more, for the ones you turned against yourself because of you inexcusable actions.
For these, I am even more grateful. But especially for your loved ones, your family, the most important people in the world to you, you even threw them away for me.
I cannot express in words the gratitude i have for the loyalty and respect you have for me.
But do not despair, my friend, for on me you can always depend!
For after you have lost all these things, you still depend on me to take even more.
You can depend on me to keep you in a living hell; to keep your mind, body, and soul; for i will not be sastisfied until your dead!
So hello old friend, i'm the Rat... my name is "Addiction"
this is what we do battle with everyday...................!
peace, understanding, love, support, fellowship, experience and hope...
rz
this is from the "About Us" on my recovery website
"Hello old friend"
Iv'e come to visit once again.
I live to see you suffer: physically, spiritual, and socially.
I want to make you restless so you can never relax.
I want you to be jumpy, nervious and anxious.
I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything; and everybody makes you uncomfortable.
I want you to be confused and depressed so you cant think clearly or positively.
I want you to hate everything, and everybody, including your self.
I want you to feel guily and remorsefull for the things you have done in the past that you'll never be able to let go.
I want to make you angry and hatefull toward the world for the way it is, and the way you are.
I want you to be decitfull and untrustworthy, and to manipulate and con as manny people for no reason at all.
I want you to wake up durring all hours of the night and scream for me.
You know you cant sleep without me. I'm even in your dreams...
I want to be the first thing you think of when you wakeup in the morning, and the last thing you touch before you go to sleep if you can.
I would rather kill you. But i'll be happy enough to put you back in the hospital, anmother insitution or jail. But you know, I'll stil be waiting for you when you get out.
I love to watch you go slowly insane.
I love to see all the physical damage that i'm causing you.
I cant help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake... when you freeze and sweat at the same time. When you wake with the sheets soaking wet.
It's amuseing to watch.
Its amazing how much destruction i can do on your internal organs while at the same time i work on your brain, destroying it bit, by bit!
I deeply appreciate how much you have sacrificed for me; the countless jobs; all the fine friends that you deeply cared for and you gave up for me; and whats more, for the ones you turned against yourself because of you inexcusable actions.
For these, I am even more grateful. But especially for your loved ones, your family, the most important people in the world to you, you even threw them away for me.
I cannot express in words the gratitude i have for the loyalty and respect you have for me.
But do not despair, my friend, for on me you can always depend!
For after you have lost all these things, you still depend on me to take even more.
You can depend on me to keep you in a living hell; to keep your mind, body, and soul; for i will not be sastisfied until your dead!
So hello old friend, i'm the Rat... my name is "Addiction"
this is what we do battle with everyday...................!
peace, understanding, love, support, fellowship, experience and hope...
rz
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
My perspective could be that of someone who kept going back out. Several people here have told me that they didn't know if I would live thru my constant relapses. I didn't know if I would make it. I was hopeless. I FELT hopeless, therefore I WAS hopeless.
But now I'm over three months sober and can't believe it sometimes. I want to be a non drinker cause I'm a better non drinker than I was a drinker. So for those who try it again, you can still stay sober if you want to, and if you don't see yourselves as hopeless you become hopeful.
Something I'm always reminded of is that I can only change myself. And that should be enough to keep me busy without trying to change anyone else.
:ghug :ghug :ghug
(that's a hug from me and one from each of my dogs!)
But now I'm over three months sober and can't believe it sometimes. I want to be a non drinker cause I'm a better non drinker than I was a drinker. So for those who try it again, you can still stay sober if you want to, and if you don't see yourselves as hopeless you become hopeful.
Something I'm always reminded of is that I can only change myself. And that should be enough to keep me busy without trying to change anyone else.
:ghug :ghug :ghug
(that's a hug from me and one from each of my dogs!)
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
I didn't mean literally changing the world, just that I could only work 'my' program, no one else's. I can only hope that they don't hurt themselves, and love them no matter what:ghug3
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Horselover, thank you for a heartfelt post. I'm mostly quite mellow, but lately I've been very emotional and super sensitive too. I think for me it's a combination of the financial mess, the upcoming election & what it will mean - and the changing seasons. The holidays looming always panic me - will I or won't I make it through the minefield? Aside from those issues, we have some of our key people faltering and in pain. I've had tears in my eyes the past couple of hours, reading all that's gone on since I was last here. Every time someone stands at the brink, I feel that part of me is standing there with them. Maybe emotions run so high here because we do care so deeply for each other, and at times we are very afraid.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Fear for me is the basic feeling at the very core or my addiction. Last night I heard an OCM (Older Cleaner Member) talk about being 5 years clean and one very quiet still day within and without out he expereienced a low buzing sensation. After a while he realised that this was fear, always waiting. For me I need to get up and face my fear everyday and not get frozen by it or externalise it. The more I front up and face it the more of me I see and teh more of the opoosite I experience, joy.
Kevin
Kevin
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
and now for something completey different
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...65-boxing.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...65-boxing.html
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
The 'rat of addiction' is brilliant Rusty.Thanks for the reminder.
I don't have much to add really Horsie, I think Hevyn said it best for me anyway.This will pass.I guess as a group we go through phases just as we do individually.
Love,
Julesxox
I don't have much to add really Horsie, I think Hevyn said it best for me anyway.This will pass.I guess as a group we go through phases just as we do individually.
Love,
Julesxox
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