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What is happening to SR?

Old 10-18-2008, 10:47 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Horselover View Post
I guess I was wrong to post this thread and maybe it was a bad idea. Everything is fine and I am sorry for thinking its not.
I'm sorry Horselover but there is nothing you should
be sorry for, I know were you coming from cause your
not the only one that's been noticing allot of False Hood

and Please no one get offended everybody is in title to there own
opinion you could agree with it, or relate to it, or Banned it, the choice is yours
When I first came to S.R. I was Greeted in such a Loving way
I will Post my Threads and I will get allot of Support or feed backs Now
Jeeeeeesssss .

I Haven't been at S.R. for awhile Busy and all, but also I haven't been
here to because of the Indifference treatment I been notice that's
going own, and Luv me, or Hate me, But this is what I'm feeling
you could agree with it, or not,

this week I decided to Post a Thread about Lisa's Life Report and
1-out of-10 of the Old Members at S.R. that had greeted me at one point
with so much Love, and support,only 4 had reply to my thread with a word of
support that"s a Shame and is funny cause the new Member were
replying with words of Wisdom, and support,Whats really Happenning
to S.R. or could it be what Gyps said the two Big "E"Ego,Emotion,
or could it Be Dee three 'C"s

what ever it is we need to realize that everything that we encounter in Life
weather be Good or Bad those Life Experiences was Giving to us to
Passed it on to others "We Can't Keep What We Have Only by Giving it Away"
so Remember when ever you Go through a Life's experience is for some one at S.R. to Receive it they Need to here your "War Stories of Strength and Hope"



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Old 10-18-2008, 11:27 PM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Horselover View Post
What is going on here lately?

Why? Why are people so sensitive lately? Why are we fighting amongst ourselves so much? Why are so MANY experimenting with this disease?

I came to SR in May of this year and it was such an open and welcoming place to be. People came on here and were so overwhelmed with support. They seemed to really reach out for help and took advice from those that had walked in their shoes and they really made an effort to better their situations. There weren't these personal walls that have been built up lately.

I hope this is just a freak thing because I would hate to see people give up on this site. I personally would be lost without it.

In the last couple of hours I have seen 3 people stomp off angry. In the last 24 hours I have seen too many to count leave. I have somebody on SR that I am extremely worried about and she has yet to return.

If people are acting a little harsh on the ones that are still going out its because they have been watching people drop for the last 24 to 48 hours and it puts fear into oneself. You feel a bond with people and when you know why they're here and you watched and read their struggle, its hard to just accept this another part of the disease. I agree with those that are angry with the disease because it isn't fair when it takes our friends and whispers in their ears all the lies they need to hear to give it up.

I had to vent and I hope others will not take it the wrong way. I am not pointing fingers. I am frustrated and I am sad, but I am not blaming the people only the damn disease.

Right, I'm not going to mess about here or bounce silly little jokes around.

I've had a right good read of this thread from start to finish and also read it again. I joined here around September time and really found this place to be the sanctuary I definately needed. In the initial stages of accepting my disease I found histeria was the most effective form of natural defense which provided a reaction to my new found, and indeed, newly accepted condition.

To put it bluntly, I found you guys and was ovewhelmed that I wasn't on my own in this. Throughout my life I have dealt with these situations with comedy and light banter. Or so I thought.

It has never occurred to me what a negative affect I may have been causing to what was once perhaps a completely different......err.... ambience? within your group.

In a nutshell, I would like to be the first to apologise if I have in any way undermined the sincerity or raison d’etre of this entire website though foolish and inappropriate behaviour.

I reckon it would do me a lot of good to read well back to grasp a better understanding of what you guys are all about and hopefully this will influence my conduct in the future.

So, I'm sorry Horselover and all who posted sentiments of agreement to the origonal comment and I humbly ask your forgiveness.

Simon (not Tim)
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Old 10-18-2008, 11:32 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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thanks

I haven't been on here in quite awhile, but have always found SR to be an amazing place to read or post.

I have been doing well in some aspects, and not in others. I have also printed the "hello old friend" that RZ posted because it hits so close to home.

I was looking for the chronically 2 weeks and under thread that was ongoing for awhile. This was an interesting first thread to read after being away for so long. What I see is the same great people supporting each other.

Thanks for being here, and I think that the "doing well" part of my life is going to prevail.

K
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Old 10-18-2008, 11:36 PM
  # 64 (permalink)  
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I don't know, Simon/Tim...I like humor. It helps me.
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Old 10-19-2008, 02:15 AM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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I too need humor, it helps.

I first joined SR in March. I have also noticed that it's not the same on here and have not felt connected or part of it even when I do post. But I have put this down to how I feel emotionally at this time.

We are all trying to get to or remain sober and that cannot be done alone.

Bless you all
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Old 10-19-2008, 04:16 AM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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IMO, this thread is a great reminder why it is said...

'we dont have to like each other, just we can love them"

were all in this boat together

me, i dont complain about the color of it...

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Old 10-24-2008, 10:00 PM
  # 67 (permalink)  
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Smile Yay!!!!

Keep On Rocking !!

awesomely honest thread...
heartwarming...
excellent fellowship...

recovery always works... never give up... never ever ever.... !!


regards,
RobbyRobot
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Old 10-25-2008, 12:39 AM
  # 68 (permalink)  
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Man that's a lot of reading, so here is a lot more, sorry for the length...

I am still not sure what the problem was...and for that matter don't care, because I have not seen it and if I do so be it simply because I look at it this way....

I have looked in the devils eyes for many years and I can say I have beat him once and will beat him again.....

The devil tried to beat me with alcohol....took the fight to me with moral deviation, I said and did things to friends, family, strangers and police that most sane and normal people would never do....

The devil took me for rides that hurt others and although I didn't know it at the time...myself....

I tried to quit many times and found it easy to say slips, relapses, oops, next time I will do better and so on, but the last day I really quit was my real quit day....that day I looked the devil in the eyes and said...NO MORE!

To succeed I had to take some huge steps...the biggest was sitting down and really attacking the one son of a B**** that screwed up my life, made me do stupid things and forced me to take that drink...or many drinks...

ME.

I wrote down everything that I hated about myself and why...then I wrote down the names of everyone I hurt because of my drinking....then...

I went to see these people expecting to get my a$$ kicked by some of them, but what happened was a shock....

I had 122 people on my list...not bad...I first thought man I pi$$ed off a lot of people....then I thought, wow I knew that many people that at one time wanted to hang out with me or loved me....

I had mixed reactions and yes did have a few that resulted in me getting smacked, but hey I deserved it...what surprised me was there were people that simply hugged me and said welcome back, we/I missed you...

I didn't know how to handle those reactions at first and many times went home and tried to figure out why they never smacked me too...

I know now and understand better that they never really hated me like I thought they were sad for me because they loved me, and I never saw it through my booze haze of a life....

I heard the same theme over and over as well.....Tough Love....they never gave up on me, they never hated me and actually loved me more than I knew...

Tough Love...what is that? Basically its forcing someone into a situation that sucks so bad that you have no choice, but to make some new decisions...some call it hitting bottom, end of the rope or so far gone that a judge and jury are the wake up with a cell, toilet and bed....turning point....

Mine was a combination of all of them with the reality of losing the one last person that cared about me...and I could see through the haze enough to know she was very serious....

We all take a different road with similar disasters along the way, but until someone looks us straight in the eyes and says make a choice and it is one that will severely affect your life...

spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend,life partner, family, or special friend leaving you and making it permanent...that hits home, but the common theme with that is the harshness of reality....

Reality to a drunk or a drug addict is the time between fixes and rational thought is not a factor very often and some nasty tough love is something that is a necessry tool....

So when I hear relapses I feel sad, scared for the individual and mad....

These are all positive emotions and more important is that if I am feeling these emotions than I know I am sober and drug free and am able to say...come on get your head on straight, and dare I say....don't just slip, but slip up so bad that you wake up and feel so much guilt you get on the phone and start saying sorry to those you have hurt...scary thought, but helpul...get on the computer and reach out to SR and we will help you back....

but, remember relapse are a part of recovery, but if you have 7 relapse in 7 days...thats not recovery thats still drinking and I can't sympathise with that...

This is my tough love....

If you go Monday to Friday and don't drink, but tie one on Friday and Sturday...still drinking...

Drink then feel guilty or get in trouble and start again.....many times a month...still a drinker...

Face your demons and those you have hurt then you will be on a good path to recovery....

Of the 122 people I faced I have only 19 that will even speak to me, but they are 19 people that love me and make waking up every day better...

Oh this was 10 years ago...I have not had a drink, a craving and a desire to have alcohol....my 19 people keep me leveled and I have made friends that share the same beliefs and lifestyle...

To better your chances of recovery success....stay positive....negatives can be positives...only you can fix you and most importantly love yourself...

I believe I can say with 100% honesty I beat booze and even having people tell me to quit it was me that had to make the choice, me that had to say enough is enough and me that refuses to have a drink every day....

....and me that said no more pills and me that that will beat this one too....because like I wrote earlier....I have looked in the eyes of the devil...

and will never be in that position again.

Lots of good stuff in this thread, which is why I typed lots too.

So if a kick in the a$$ is needed...its out of love...not hate.

Don't give up the fight....

Chuck
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Old 10-25-2008, 12:44 AM
  # 69 (permalink)  
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I look at it like this. And I am guilty of being sensitive alot.
Alot of us are a bunch of addicts coming off some kind of substance or other.
I could offend myself in that state.
It is what it is. We are all grown and go through things. Even the old timers have their moments. Its called human nature and life.
We take our breaks and we come back feeling better. Hopefully.
But in the end. We all know deep down if one of us needs another. We will not hesitate.
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Old 11-02-2008, 08:25 AM
  # 70 (permalink)  
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For some reason today this thread has been very important and I needed to re-read the entire contents because I feel like forgiveness is an emotion that has been hard to find lately. Maybe its just me, but I loved what RZ says, "we dont have to like each other, just we can love them. Were all in this boat together"

I think SR can work because we are all addicts and as addicts, we know the person behind the disease better then anyone. We understand. We care. We forgive. We go on.

:ghug2
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Old 11-02-2008, 08:34 AM
  # 71 (permalink)  
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The sad truth is that about 10 out of 20 people in recovery fail to stay sober.

That 5% figure is pretty much the same no matter what particular program that you look at including today's AA fellowship.

Sometimes I get impatient with those who say "Not using" is enough. I believe this shortsightedness is responsible for the 19 out of 20 who fall out.
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Old 11-02-2008, 09:13 AM
  # 72 (permalink)  
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It's been two weeks since I read/posted about "What is happening to SR?" After going through the most recent comments, is it possible that we have been, in effect, doing a 4th and 5th Step Inventory of Sober Recovery?

Perhaps, just as we do personally, it isn't such a bad idea to periodically step back and take a good look at where the forums have been and where they're headed. If things seem to be a bit "off track", we can join forces and get back to basics. If we agree that we're headed in the right direction, we can support each other and continue to do the next right thing in recovery.

Maybe it's we who are changing, and not necessarily Sober Recovery. Just a thought.
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Old 11-02-2008, 09:21 AM
  # 73 (permalink)  
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Alcoholics and addicts, in general, are a sensitive lot. We are not a glum lot. Well, we shouldn't be, at any rate. When we get burned up and sore at someone, we need to examine our selves first. We too, are at fault. People come and go...mostly go. Very few actually stay and recover fully.
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Old 11-02-2008, 09:24 AM
  # 74 (permalink)  
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Maybe Jersey. I have to give that some thought. Once again it probably is me Jersey. I guess "I" needed to re-read this.
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Old 11-02-2008, 09:46 AM
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Maybe I'm not reading the right threads but I haven't seen any anger or arguments or anything... but then again I haven't been here very long.
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Old 11-02-2008, 10:26 AM
  # 76 (permalink)  
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NO, it's not just you Horselover. I needed to re-read it too. I've been really brought down by some of the sniping, misunderstandings, and lack of forgiveness shown here recently. I could hardly believe my eyes how quickly things turned ugly at times. I've always been proud of our tolerance & patience with each other - proud of the SR that helped me get sober and gave me a safe haven to come to in my blackest moments. I would never give up on coming here, but it's sad to see the negativity and personal attacks come creeping in.
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Old 11-02-2008, 10:34 AM
  # 77 (permalink)  
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I have been guilty of both sides of this spectrum.
More so last year than now..I think.
But thats why I have calmed down alot.
Because of this place.
You all have no idea how much I haved learned here.
I have had my momemts as we all do.
But I know I can always come back with open arms waiting.
We recently had a mamber come back. And just look at the responces they got.

That just proves to me that even though we do have differences at times..We are mostly a very understanding forgiving bunch.
I wouldnt trade it for the world.
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Old 11-02-2008, 10:53 AM
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I have seen so much forgiveness here and willingness to let go of different views and heal together. An area to be careful in is the mob mentality: jumping in on something you aren't personally involved in and drawing up sides. That is never good.

Otherwise, we laugh, we share, we recover together here. I've never found a better place for that purpose.
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Old 11-02-2008, 11:08 AM
  # 79 (permalink)  
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One thing to possibly take into account here people.....A lot of people out there are now not only dealing with the stress of their diseases/addictions but now they could be also dealing with the economic problems affecting our world. I am fortunate enough to not feel the impact yet but I have friends and family who are feeling it....it adds a HUGE amount of additional stress to their lives. That could be what is happening here. Personal issues aside from the addictions are playing a key role in peoples responses and actions.....just food for thought all.
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Old 11-02-2008, 11:54 AM
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I can only speak for myself.

I've been accused in the past of being "cliquey"..and that was okay with me.

It didn't really bother me a whole lot..it was awhile back. I have also

thought this of of others..this is basic human nature, as far as I'm concerned.

But SR..is a place where any person can reach out for help..and get it.

There is a forum for just about everyone...every belief.

Whiner's..Bottom's...Substance Abuse..Gratitude..Spirituality.Christians..

Mental Health...on...and on..

There is something for everyone here. I wish folks would go to another forum

when they get upset and just cool off a bit rather than leave...but, that is

not my decision...

People form friendships..and are sensitive to when their friends get hurt.

I've jumped in and done it...and had to apologize.

There are some rules..some are.

That no bashing ever is allowed, and the mods are veeeery good about

keeping an eye on that..and, that the threads stay on track.

For me?

My rule..

Besides the Golden Rule..and Rule 62, and ..and..and..and...is to try to

say something that will be helpful to someone today here.

And if I can't..and have a problem,..share it..maybe ask help for myself.

Otherwise..read, pray, practice restraint of the keyboard!!!

Thanks so much, HL..
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