What is happening to SR?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 983
I think everyone is experiencing more stress and letting it out here because this feels like a place to let it out.
I post on a moms message board, and everyone has been at eachother's throats. They tried a political debate and it got ugly. People who have known eachother and considered friends for years were mudslinging over the election.
I must say though, that even though I had a small slip and drank last week, I still felt very comforted that I could come here and admit that without worry, and read about other people who have been in the exact same place and what they've done.
This will always be a place for me.
I post on a moms message board, and everyone has been at eachother's throats. They tried a political debate and it got ugly. People who have known eachother and considered friends for years were mudslinging over the election.
I must say though, that even though I had a small slip and drank last week, I still felt very comforted that I could come here and admit that without worry, and read about other people who have been in the exact same place and what they've done.
This will always be a place for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
I am NOT pointing fingers!! I thought it was the general atmosphere that had changed, but I am being told by the people with more SR experience that its all normal. This is recovery after all. I had not thought of the awesome roller coaster ride you embark upon when you start caring about others here. Its just part of the ride. Definitely not pointing fingers at you DG or anyone here - generalizations and that's all! :ghug3
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Thanks for the thread Horsie, it was a wonderfull opportunity for people to share. Reading through this thread has been a learning experience for me. It allowed me to understand and learn more about the members who posted. Thank You.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((HL)))
When I first came to SR, I got upset when I could see someone getting their feelings hurt (even though they were being told the truth) or when someone I cared about went back out.
After 19 months of recovery and WAY more time than that reading SR (I was a lurker for almost a year), I've seen so many people leave in a huff, or go back out, and then come back..maybe months or a year later.
I finally had to accept that all I can do is offer my ES&H (experience, strength, and hope) and keep them in my prayers.
I'm glad you started this thread, so don't apologize.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
When I first came to SR, I got upset when I could see someone getting their feelings hurt (even though they were being told the truth) or when someone I cared about went back out.
After 19 months of recovery and WAY more time than that reading SR (I was a lurker for almost a year), I've seen so many people leave in a huff, or go back out, and then come back..maybe months or a year later.
I finally had to accept that all I can do is offer my ES&H (experience, strength, and hope) and keep them in my prayers.
I'm glad you started this thread, so don't apologize.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Great thread. I seen all kinds of things on this forum. People come and go. Just like at my local meetings. Disagreements, kindness, love, respect. I don't know the answers, but i guess it's like my own personal recovery. I had a lot of up and downs, and disagreements with others and myself. Trying to love myself again but open to letting others love me until i can love myself again.
It's just part of recovery. Don't always like it, but have to put up with it if I want to change and get better.
It's just part of recovery. Don't always like it, but have to put up with it if I want to change and get better.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I feel like I can be and should be more honest with you all...
...and in turn with myself.
SR is a place where I can give and receive support.
To sugarcoat my recovery (in other words, skip over my relapses as though they don't occur) is being dishonest. I want to get well. I cannot get well by deluding myself.
Thank you everyone for being here…for being who you are. Even though it’s not showing now, you are helping me.
I hope I have been able to help with my words…if not now…soon enough.
...and in turn with myself.
SR is a place where I can give and receive support.
To sugarcoat my recovery (in other words, skip over my relapses as though they don't occur) is being dishonest. I want to get well. I cannot get well by deluding myself.
Thank you everyone for being here…for being who you are. Even though it’s not showing now, you are helping me.
I hope I have been able to help with my words…if not now…soon enough.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
For today, all I know for sure is that I love you all so very much. No matter what! I am trying to love my friends as unconditionally as my dogs love me, tho I'm not nearly as smart love-wise as my dogs!
I have chosen you all as my family, and won't give up on any member of my chosen family. Loving you all gives me a good steady place to stand when I feel unsure or weak. I was so far gone when I came here but none of you gave up on me - and that made such a positive difference in my life. I don't know if I would have the sobriety I have now without you all.
:ghug:ghug:ghug same as before - a hug from me and one from each of my dogs.
I have chosen you all as my family, and won't give up on any member of my chosen family. Loving you all gives me a good steady place to stand when I feel unsure or weak. I was so far gone when I came here but none of you gave up on me - and that made such a positive difference in my life. I don't know if I would have the sobriety I have now without you all.
:ghug:ghug:ghug same as before - a hug from me and one from each of my dogs.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Interesting thread. Thanks Horselover. No one here is unwounded in some respect. We need to examine those wounds.
No one needs to apologize for how they feel, I think. Feelings are rational and irrational, but they exist.
I have many people on my "friends" list who have been gone for many moons. I will never delete them. Some, like Paddington Bear, miraculously reappear.
Could it be that we sense what we are feeling within ourselves? That we focus upon those issues, positive and negative, that are predominant in our own lives? Sometimes I come here and come away enriched. Other times I come away appalled. I think it has more to do with my condition and mood than that of others.
Perhaps we attract what we project. Does that make any sense?
I thank god for all of you.
warren
No one needs to apologize for how they feel, I think. Feelings are rational and irrational, but they exist.
I have many people on my "friends" list who have been gone for many moons. I will never delete them. Some, like Paddington Bear, miraculously reappear.
Could it be that we sense what we are feeling within ourselves? That we focus upon those issues, positive and negative, that are predominant in our own lives? Sometimes I come here and come away enriched. Other times I come away appalled. I think it has more to do with my condition and mood than that of others.
Perhaps we attract what we project. Does that make any sense?
I thank god for all of you.
warren
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
HL, I saw this thread title when you opened it but didn't look at it until now. I read all of it at once. I think all the thoughts I had while reading were later said by others, and probably said better than I was going to say them.
Great discussion.
SR needs a routine check-up now and then.
Thanks for making the appointment.
It passed the examination.
Great discussion.
SR needs a routine check-up now and then.
Thanks for making the appointment.
It passed the examination.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
This is nothing new. Emotions run deep when it comes to addiciton. The components are enough to push anyone to the edge. Stress, denial, egos, opinons, relapse, pain...you name it. It isn't easy, but we can get through it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
My sincere thanks for "rat". I have printed it out so that I will remember, when my abf is having a troublesome time, or goes back drinking, that he has something to cope with that is worse than I have. His own personal rat.
Bless you all.
Bless you all.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I don't want to change the world. I do, however, want SR to return to the place it was and I am fairly certain it will.
For almost two years, I've thought of SR as my 24/7 meeting place...and, there are the same fluctuations in membership that you see in the "real world". After all, we're still just alcoholics/addicts sharing our experience, strength, and hope.
I can remember a time when I would become very frustrated when anyone I knew in AA relapsed..."What are they doing? Why can't they get it? Will they ever get sober?" And, I had to remind myself over and over again, "We carry the message...we don't carry the drunk."
It's up to everyone who can to encourage those who are struggling to stay clean and sober...and to be here to welcome back those who are still struggling to get clean and sober.
The whole world is in a state of flux right now...why should our little community be any different? Have faith, my friend...this, too, shall pass.
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