What is happening to SR?
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
FEAR!
Well there are several definitions to that one.
For myself I come here when I can anymore. Has SR changed....?
Just like everything else in life, nothing stays the same. We and SR will all change, just as much as everything else. One thing that I know about me is that ....
I feel as if I let SR and the members down during my time here. I used to be very open here for a very long time. Well I relapsed and relapsed and relapsed. Sure I have had a lot more time sober/clean than any other time in my life, but the point is that I don't feel I have much to give anymore, except what not to do...and we all know what not to do...so I don't need to post that.
Here lately I have decided to make some major Changes because of my health. Not a easy thing to do either, and most people don't understand it anyways. They think all should be the same...when nothing remains the same. The only think that I know of that has never Changed is God and I even wonder about that? I am sure that He has had to change also but who knows.
SR's primary Purpose IMO is to help those who need help, and what makes up SR is the members, no different than a AA Group/NA Group, SMART, etc. So if what you say is true than it isn't SR it's us members.
Thanks for letting me ramble I am good at that
Well there are several definitions to that one.
For myself I come here when I can anymore. Has SR changed....?
Just like everything else in life, nothing stays the same. We and SR will all change, just as much as everything else. One thing that I know about me is that ....
I feel as if I let SR and the members down during my time here. I used to be very open here for a very long time. Well I relapsed and relapsed and relapsed. Sure I have had a lot more time sober/clean than any other time in my life, but the point is that I don't feel I have much to give anymore, except what not to do...and we all know what not to do...so I don't need to post that.
Here lately I have decided to make some major Changes because of my health. Not a easy thing to do either, and most people don't understand it anyways. They think all should be the same...when nothing remains the same. The only think that I know of that has never Changed is God and I even wonder about that? I am sure that He has had to change also but who knows.
SR's primary Purpose IMO is to help those who need help, and what makes up SR is the members, no different than a AA Group/NA Group, SMART, etc. So if what you say is true than it isn't SR it's us members.
Thanks for letting me ramble I am good at that
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
First of all...the conflicts, relapses and all kinds of scary things are nothing new here or on any other forum that I've used or heard of. We also share so much joy, love, trust,
vulnerability, friendship etc etc. I can't say enough about the benefits of this place.
From what I've seen, the amount of negative things that go on here is actually quite
minimal considering all of us here are but a sampling from across the web. I've visited quite a few other forums and not one has met my needs (and standards) to the degree I find here on SR.
vulnerability, friendship etc etc. I can't say enough about the benefits of this place.
From what I've seen, the amount of negative things that go on here is actually quite
minimal considering all of us here are but a sampling from across the web. I've visited quite a few other forums and not one has met my needs (and standards) to the degree I find here on SR.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I am actually just as emotionally impacted by SR as I am in my AA groups. I have felt (and i could be wrong) a lot more anger going on than usual...although I have seen it become pretty bad a few other times. I just see a lot of fear. People often express views and comments (not just SR) that are directly a statement about who I am, and then tell me it not personal, but clearly wether or not they intend it to be personal or not..it is. And of course I have seen myself do the same thing.
I have had friends tell me hate the sin not the sinner...and i'm not sure the hate the disease not the person is all that different.....and when you are on the recieving end of that I know for me it feels pretty much the same wether you call it being angry at the disease or angry at me.
Many many many many people I have met on SR have drank again ... some come back and some dont.....some I have outside ways to contact, and I try to stay in contact with them drunk or sober.
SR for me is about one alchoholic reaching out to another alchoholic to share this journey of sobriety. Not all of us will make it.
I am greatly influenced i think by having been alone close to death in the hospital with not one person there for me. It was lonely and scary and as a human being I am entitled to more dignity than that...So I will try very much to be there for a fellow alchoholic who is still suffering from this disease so that they can still have the dignity of being a fellow human being.
I believe that I stay sober by sharing with other alchoholics and that this truley is not a moral issue that they are no different than me, and that I too may die drunk. I don't want to, I believe i may not....but i know that it could be me...it makes me feel so helpless..but it also increases my feelings of compasion toward the still suffering alchoholic.
I liked what Anna said
I have had friends tell me hate the sin not the sinner...and i'm not sure the hate the disease not the person is all that different.....and when you are on the recieving end of that I know for me it feels pretty much the same wether you call it being angry at the disease or angry at me.
Many many many many people I have met on SR have drank again ... some come back and some dont.....some I have outside ways to contact, and I try to stay in contact with them drunk or sober.
SR for me is about one alchoholic reaching out to another alchoholic to share this journey of sobriety. Not all of us will make it.
I am greatly influenced i think by having been alone close to death in the hospital with not one person there for me. It was lonely and scary and as a human being I am entitled to more dignity than that...So I will try very much to be there for a fellow alchoholic who is still suffering from this disease so that they can still have the dignity of being a fellow human being.
I believe that I stay sober by sharing with other alchoholics and that this truley is not a moral issue that they are no different than me, and that I too may die drunk. I don't want to, I believe i may not....but i know that it could be me...it makes me feel so helpless..but it also increases my feelings of compasion toward the still suffering alchoholic.
I liked what Anna said
What is happening to SR, is that we are all doing our best to help each other and to help ourselves. That's why we come here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Hey Horsie,
I don't agree.I think it's great you spoke up and expressed your worry about what you saw happening here.It gave lots of us a chance to comment and to express our various worries/concerns or lack of them!
In a group this big we'll always have different opinions/views-but that's what makes this place rich too.
You didn't do anything wrong.
and I'm glad you posted.It's been a bit bewlidering round here these past few days-but we're all still here doing our best-and I know you are too.
Love,
Julesxox
I don't agree.I think it's great you spoke up and expressed your worry about what you saw happening here.It gave lots of us a chance to comment and to express our various worries/concerns or lack of them!
In a group this big we'll always have different opinions/views-but that's what makes this place rich too.
You didn't do anything wrong.
and I'm glad you posted.It's been a bit bewlidering round here these past few days-but we're all still here doing our best-and I know you are too.Love,
Julesxox
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I don't think SR is a bad place and I'd be sorry if that was the impression anyone took away from this thread - but I like the idea we can look at ourselves honestly HL - that's part of recovery for me.
thanks for starting this
D
thanks for starting this
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Yokohama, Japan
Posts: 487
Originally Posted by Horselover 
I guess I was wrong to post this thread and maybe it was a bad idea. Everything is fine and I am sorry for thinking its not.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
Having this thread to air our feelings is healthy, not harmful. I don't think there should be any regrets Horselover. Our admission that there has been alot of dissention recently does not take away from the overall miracle of this place.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Originally Posted by Horselover
I guess I was wrong to post this thread and maybe it was a bad idea. Everything is fine and I am sorry for thinking its not.
Thank you for sharing.
getting there
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,314
I really liked all the shares on this thread and I'm glad you started it Horselover. I think it's good that we talk about things that are bothering us instead of internalizing them. I also think it shows that we care about each other and our relationships here.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
I'm going on 9 months of sobriety & the longer I've been at SR, the more confident I've become with expressing what I really think and feel. I try to do so in a respectful and prudent manner. But I've stopped feeling apologetic for things I bring to the table. Obviously, I don't let every little thought find it's way here...
Anyway - I think that it's a good thing for us to be able to have serious, meaningful, difficult discussion. All the while, also finding a way to insert the light-hearted tone sometimes. Or just pure support.
Don't worry about SR. It's hard to watch people struggle and some leave. It's hard. But over time, the core of SR is so supportive and positive and renewing that it keeps doing what it was meant to do - help us get and stay clean and sober by providing a forum for us to get together in a wide-ranging way. What a great thing!
Anyway - I think that it's a good thing for us to be able to have serious, meaningful, difficult discussion. All the while, also finding a way to insert the light-hearted tone sometimes. Or just pure support.
Don't worry about SR. It's hard to watch people struggle and some leave. It's hard. But over time, the core of SR is so supportive and positive and renewing that it keeps doing what it was meant to do - help us get and stay clean and sober by providing a forum for us to get together in a wide-ranging way. What a great thing!
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
This IS a community for addiction recovery, so it's obviously a serious matter. Having said that:
I think that SR is up there with the Simpsons and the Addams: a big family with quirks, some dysfunctions and drama, but lots of love to go around for anyone who wants it
catch me, catch me if you caan!
I think that SR is up there with the Simpsons and the Addams: a big family with quirks, some dysfunctions and drama, but lots of love to go around for anyone who wants it
catch me, catch me if you caan!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Yokohama, Japan
Posts: 487
Originally Posted by mattcake79
This IS a community for addiction recovery, so it's obviously a serious matter. Having said that:
I think that SR is up there with the Simpsons and the Addams: a big family with quirks, some dysfunctions and drama, but lots of love to go around for anyone who wants it
catch me, catch me if you caan!
I think that SR is up there with the Simpsons and the Addams: a big family with quirks, some dysfunctions and drama, but lots of love to go around for anyone who wants it
catch me, catch me if you caan!
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
Well, I don't know where I've been for the last few days. Probably wrapped up in my own self-absorbed ball of misery! Thanks to SR, I feel a lot better than I did though, and I'm still clean and sober. Now I'm going to go and do some reading on here and find out what I have missed!
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