gfireboy22

I am new here, and finally admit I am in trouble. I work in the oilfields of Canada, and quite often have sobriety for two weeks while away. Everytime I come back, I think I can handle alcohol socially. I might only have a little the first day back, but I'm back to my old ways of drinking everyday by the next day. My alcoholism started 7 years ago when I thought making my own wine would be cheaper than buying beer. This lead to 2 bottles a day on my days off. I worked shifts of 4 on, 4 off. I was so bored during my days off, that I hit the wine by 2 PM. My wife eventually stopped me from making wine. I then decided to start drinking vodka and diet Pepsi. Time went on, and we moved. My vodka consumption remained about 1- 12oz bottle a day, up until less than a year ago. Now I find myself with weeks off work. I have increased my consumption to 26oz a day, usually straight from bottle to mouth, or really close to 26oz..I sneak it behind her back, but it doesn't take long until she notices.Recently, a friend who is down on his luck has been staying with us. He is an alcoholic too, and we wind up doing beer and vodka runs which have lead to blackouts and me urinating the bed(hard to say, but the truth) I am in the bush right now, with no alcohol to be found for three weeks, and I'm only 4 days sober. I want the pattern of going home and drinking to stop. I am finally realizing that I am no longer a social drinker, and can't even have 1. I only have AA as an option where I live, but I can't go for a few reasons. I am deathly afraid of public speaking, I am not religious at all, nor will I be, and worse off is that AA is 20 miles away in the city. One of my biggest problems is grabbing a bottle for the boring ride home when I have to go to the city. So that said, my biggest obstacle is getting that alcoholic enabler out of my house. My wife doesn't understand why I can't just say no to him when he says we should go to the liquor store. She hates alcohol and doesn't get the problem. So what do I do to continue sobriety after the three weeks? On another note, even with all my heavy drinking, day 1 has always been nausea, dry heaving, shakes, sweats, and fatigue, but by day two I feel good
as new. I workout a lot with weights, and I eat a lot of no fat proteins, and lots of fruits. I wonder if my diet and exercise is why I never suffer the expected symptoms?

ANGELINA243

Welcome! Glad you are here! Congrats on 4 days.....awesome job! As far as AA is concerned, you never have to speak in a meeting unless you choose to...and as far as religion goes--AA is a spiritual as opposed to religious program. Plus, there are also plenty of atheists in AA who are sober. But I'm happy you are reaching out--seeking help for yourself. That is a huge step in the right direction.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I think it's great that you can go for two weeks without drinking. And, if you can do that, you can continue your sobriety at home, if you are willing to work at it. It does sound like getting your friend out of the house would be a help. For me, I couldn't be around alcohol when I was newly sober. It just didn't work. I think also that might think about other changes you could make in your life to help with your recovery.

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

Not everyone has the same withdrawal symptoms
and it seems you are one of the fortunate ones.

Here is a link with information and some of our experiences

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Glad you are planning for a sober future ..
:

least

You CAN say no to alcohol, but you have to really mean "NO"!! Getting your alcoholic friend out of the house will be a help, but even with him there you must draw on your own strength and resolve to quit drinking.

AA is not a religious group, but it is a very spiritual one. A lot of AA members are religious, but the organization is not. Give it a try, at least, go to several meetings before you decide yes or no.

I wish you well. You CAN do this, but you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Congrats on 4 days! That's a good start!

gfireboy22

I'm watching a lot of tv and movies where I am. I am not craving alcohol at all, but the whole world is drinking, on tv, movies, and in life. Making this commitment to never drinking upsets me. I feel like some freak who can't be in the club. Rather, it feels more like a court order to be banned from the club. Does anybody else feel like they are some sort of freak for not being able to be like the rest of the world and not have two drinks and walk away? Well, maybe I could walk away, but not without serious thought of picking up a bottle on the way home.

Anna

I understand how you feel.

I did want so much to be 'normal' and to be able to drink like normal people, but never could. I actually think I went through a mourning period when I knew I was going to stop drinking. It was the loss of a friend. One of my favorite books is "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. She expresses her love of alcohol as a love affair and a love that she lost. I could totally relate to that.

flutter

"I only have AA as an option where I live, but I can't go for a few reasons. I am deathly afraid of public speaking, I am not religious at all, nor will I be, and worse off is that AA is 20 miles away in the city. "

I'm on a posting rampage apparently... That being said, I have the same reseravations about AA as you. I'm not ready to speak, no one expects me to. I am an athiest, I find my strength in the group.. not God. I have ways to feel spiritual that have nothing to do with a "God", that make me feel strong and like loving myself. As for the 20 miles.. would you drive that far to get a drink, a bottle? I would have... Give it a try! If anything, you'll hear some amazing success stories, see how people can really come together for each other, and probably (everyone's different on this) not have the desire to drink, at least for that night.

I wish you luck, welcome here!!