BeamMeUpScotty

Sorry, more of the same here. You are feeling sorry for yourself as you are hoping for someone else to give you "the best". There really is no such thing (except maybe in bowling). Starting off with something is better than waiting to start with the "best", which will most likely (99.99%) never happen.

You have enough information to start. Don't wait until "you're ready" or lots of nasty stuff can happen before then.

You can do it, but only if you actually do it, if you get my drift.

murphy75

i understand. thank you. i'm going to figure something out

murphy75

Thank you

gypsytears

Did you open the telephone book and figure out where a meeting is for today? The call is toll free... and the meetings? They're FREE.

As for lying to your parents, simply say you're going out.

You're dealing & doing drugs under their roof right now aren't you? You're lying every time you use or make a sale.

BeamMeUpScotty

You don't have to say "thank you" to anyone. We just want to you get your life straightened out, and the only one who can do it is you. Don't just agree with us--DO SOMETHING!!!

Most people are willing to help others out if they are willing to make an effort. Continually repeating what you think others want to hear will tire them out quickly. Asking for help is smart and ok, but do it earnestly.

Sooooo...did you do anything to improve your situation today?

Again, you can do it, but you have to actually do something.

murphy75

i called and talked to a teen help line and they are finding some places were they hold meetings that i might be able to go to...

gypsytears

Good for you!

Ananda

Way to go Murph!!!!! :ghug2

LouLou629

Sweetie you know, like all of us that the booze and drugs are the root of your problems..your parents could be dissapointed to find out if they do trhat you were pregnant, but i think that they would be more dissapointed on top of that to find out you are dealing , possibly using and definetly drinking......you cant change the lost pregnancy...but you have got to stop dealing drinking and hanging around the nasty toxic people ....There is NO EXCUSE for dealing, you work two jobs and you go to school , your doing the best you can and I know for a fact that if you actualy talked to those your financialy in debt with, you can set up a very low pressure payment plan..Are you sure there arent any other reasons or motives for you continuing to deal? Have you been totally honest? If so, you really have to understand its will be okay..start slow, I know its a hard thought, to imagine life never drinking again..but if you have hit that lowest rock bottom like you say, really you know its the only way to pick up the peices..your not a bad person...your young and your learning..and you have a potentially very happy long life ahead..erase the numbers out of you phone..do not contact those people that buy from you..you are playing with fire and you obviously love yourself enough to be concerned and posting on here..we all support you and you can do it honey... you shouldnt ever feel guilty for taking care of yourself..and thats what you need to do..ignore the people who will give you crap for denying them their drugs..you simply have to cut them out of your life.... be strong and have a little faith in yourself

murphy75

thank you. i'm going to call the hospital later on and see if i can set up a payment plan of some sort... i appreciate everything

Celebration1994

The solution to not use has been given to you....but you are saying no, because you want to do it your way. As a recovering alcoholic, I can tell you my way never worked, I had to go to any lengths to not use. That meant getting out of my own way, and doing it how others did it. I held that shame, guilt and not deserving, but still wanted to get clean and sober, so I set it aside, got off the pity pot and followed the suggestions. I thought my family didn't know, but they did, just didn't say anything because they didn't know how to handle it, or want to. If you want what we have, you will go to any lengths to get it, by taking suggestions. Your choice.

murphy75

i know i'm just afraid that's all...

gypsytears

This is great Murphy. I'm sure once you talk to someone about making payments, things won't seems as scary or out of reach.

murphy75

i'm trying to get out of dealing but it is becomong harder than i had anticipated...

murphy75

becoming harder... sorry... i've set up a financial plan but it is still going to be difficult to make the payments... i just hope it turns out ok. thank you for the help

BeamMeUpScotty

look for some free financial advice. You might be surprised at what can be done. The hospital will set up a plan with you, but they are still going to try to get their money as quickly as possible. At 17, you should qualify for some assistance as well I would think.

while dealing might be easier in the short term, it won't do you or anyone else any good in the long term. There can even be some very real consequences in the short term. STOP!!

Don't be surprised when you get frustrated and down. This is why everyone keeps telling you to look for help, so people you can actually meet and talk withcan support you and help you from falling.

I just did a google search on "Pennsylvania teen assistance" and found this site which has tons of links to places to contact for help. While there is also a focus on this site for the families of teens, don't let that stop you from using the resources. These people can help you:

Focus Adolescent Services

P.S. I'm a fellow Pennsylvanian, so I truly am pulling a bit extra hard for you. I'm sorry if I seem harsh, but I think you don't need to be coddled right now, but given some firm pushes in the right direction.

murphy75

you don't sound harsh. i agree. thank you for the help. i will look into all this... i really appreciate everything

IO Storm

No...

Not regarding pregnancy. I haven't been a caseworker for awhile, but I

don't think the rules have changed. All you have to do is go in and ask.

It sure couldn't hurt, now, could it?

Good luck, hun.

murphy75

i've borrowed some money from a friend and i'm going to quit dealing as soon as i can. i talked to the hospital and i have a payment plan that i think i can handle now that i have borrowed the money...

BeamMeUpScotty

I know you don't think so, but "as soon as you can" is yesterday. Take your stash and flush it now. I don't care if you owe your dealer. If s/he threatens you, say you want out, will eventually get his/her money, and that s/he should leave you alone. If that doesn't work, tell him/her you've already been approached by the police to make a deal and, though you "don't want to", you'll have to turn him/her in if s/he doesn't back off. You should also look for legal advice and protection (again check the phone book for free teen services) asap because of how deep in you are with the drugs and dealing. I know the "business" has a way of wanting to keep you in, so, again, don't try it alone.

I just also hope the money you borrowed is clean and doesn't come will any nefarious strings attached. A true friend won't expect you to pay it back until it won't hurt you to do so.

Keep plugging away. You're just starting, but you are starting and that is very important. Keep fighting.