i can't help but give up... i can't tell my parents. if they know i do drugs and drink and got pregnant they will kick me out and more than likely punch me in the head

Then the easiest way around some of that is to QUIT DEALING QUIT USING AND QUIT DRINKING.

No one should be subject to violence either. If you're in danger, maybe it's best to seek help at a shelter?

it's a lot easier to say i'm quitting then to acctually do it

This is part of NA Literature.

"Who is an addict?

Most of us do not have to think twice about this question. We know! Our whole life and
thinking was centered in drugs in one form or another—the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. We lived to use and used to live. Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by drugs. We are people in the grip of a continuing and progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails, institutions, and death."

If I don't let go and have faith that all will be ok then note the last part cos thats where I was at and will go back to if I don't or won't work this simple spritual prgram.

I say this as I am on the verge of bankruptcy, have no work, have problems with my daugther, my ex and my daugther won't talk to me, may well loose my house, fast running out of cash and yet I know I will be ok and even though some mornings its like walking in treacle I get up and do what I need to do and talk about whats going on and be involved in the NA prgram.

I am not alone in this, people in recovery go through horrendous physical, mental and financial problems without resorting to the old way of being.

May I humbly suggest that you put down the drugs and find a prgram and support so that you can leave them down and start to live life.

Honesty
Open
Willing

Kevin

That's one reason why you're posting :).

You can do it.

I'm not an american citizen so I've resisted commenting so far cos I dunno what help is out there Murphy

but I have to go with Gyps here - if dealing, using and drinking are the best lifestyle choices you can come up with? you need help - especially if your parents will not be supportive.

D

i have doen nothing but fail so far...

i don't want to make my parents seem like horrible people because they aren't. we just have a long line of alcoholics and drug addicts in the fam and they have always told me i'm better than that. i guess they were wrong...

its not a question of better or worse, we have a disease or if you prefer we are addicts, not bad people, we can't have one drink or drug like others and we need help and support from our peers.

Still time to turn it around then and prove them right.

You have to quit drinking and using. I don't believe for a minute that you HAVE to deal. You have many choices within your reach.

there are other ways i'm sure but i need a lot of money quickly. i don't want to do it but i need money

I wish you well and hope you make it through doing it your way.

Kevin

i hope i wont. i want to get caught. atleast that way if i go to jail i know i'll stay clean. i know what is going to happen on a daily basis and i wont have any added stress that i can't take

Good luck with that plan then.

i need help. i know that but i don't really know what to do... i don't want to fail anymore. i want to do something right....

Trying would be a start Murphy. You can't fail by trying.

Do you go to meetings or have any support?

not really... i have nothing. i'm basically all by myself

then get to an NA or AA meeting, phone the local office and talk to them. Thats a start

it's a start but i dont know if i'm ready for that yet

ok, what are you ready or prepared to do to quit?