Anyone else want to hear timzup's joke ?
 

He says's he's not telling till we lighten up.

I'm ready.

Who needs to lighten up before we're privileged enough to hear the joke?

Hmmmmmmmmmm. I've heard a few of timzup's jokes. Not sure I'm ready for another one!! (only kidding, come on, tell us!).

Stuttering Problem
A guy walks into his doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"

The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."

The doc examines him and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure that I know what the problem is."

The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"

The doc says,"It's your penis. It's about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords."

The guy asks, "Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?"

The doc replies, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering."

The guy says, "Dddo it!"

The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor's office and says, "Thanks Doc. You've solved my problem and I don't stutter any more but I've only had sex once in the past month. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more. I cannot satisfy her. She liked my long penis. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back one!"

The doc replies, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!"

Well, thats this thread pretty much wrapped up !!!!!!!!!!!

Failed again..... humph....

Aw, lighten up Fizzy!!

Or else I'll have to tell you why they give the old men Viagra in the retirement home...

warren

Was watching " Secret Diary of a Call Girl " on ITV2 first time I read it.

Maybe would have been funnier if it had my full attention !!!!!!!!!!

Above all Life should be fun!
Take time for some Fun in Your Life Today!

Thanks fffor the jjjoke, Tttttim.


:Pumpkinlaugh

Laughed my ass off. I tell you, humour is the only way I can beat this thing.

Posts like that just make me wanna get on with stuff and smile.

Thanks Seamus.

:lmao:

Made ME laff. Reminds me of a joke of my own.

An old man walks into a medical clinic and approaches the receptionist who loudly asks him why he is there. "There's something wrong with my d*ck". The receptionist hushes him, referring to the packed waiting room, and says, "Sir, was that necessary?" to which he replied, "Well you didn't have to go asking so loudly, did you?"

"Sir, in the future, why not approach the desk and say you have something general wrong with you, like a sore knee or something. Then, when you get in to see the doctor, you can explain that you are having difficulty with your penis."

Without a word, the old man turned on his heel and walked out.

15 minutes pass, and he returns, confidently striding to the receptionist's desk. Pleased that he took her advice, she asks him, "Yes sir, how may I help you?" to which he replied "Ma'am, there's something wrong with my ear".

Smiling broadly she says, "Oh dear, what's wrong with it?" to which he replied,

"I can't p*ss out of it!"

Touche

Or should that read "Touchy"?

Laughing too hard

Think I could do with your help in the "funnies" thread mate.

Its dieing on its arse a wee bit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seem to have went from " Diary of a call girl " to "Question Time " on the telly.

Takes all sorts eh !!!!!!!!!!

Getting a bit near my bedtime for a school night as well.

Funny nightime reply Fizzy.

Sleep well. Hope we are all here tomorrow to carry on the banter.

In any case, you don't get this kind of bunch at the off-licence counter, do ya?

For our North American bretheren, off-licence = liquor store.

Peace, love and sweetest of dreams.

Timzy

Hey

No one asked me why they give old men Viagra in the retirement home!

WTF?

Perhaps y'all already know it's to keep them from rolling out of bed in the middle of the night...

Oh well. Carry on.

warren

Oh, my...thank you, people.


One of the funniest threads I've read in a while...