Introduction and depression query
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4
Introduction and depression query
Hello,
My name is Viola and I live in Australia. It is a pleasure to meet you all. I am happily married and 43. Have been a binge drinker since I was about 15 but it started to become a major problem early in my '20s. I have been in rehab four times and recently was my final time for I have now completely surrendered and rely heavily on three higher powers, that of God, poetry writing and music.
This time is different in that not only have I declared this problem to the whole of my world (both jobs included), I have been willing to go to any measures this time to achieve sobriety and continue with daily outpatient therapy and AA. Also, I have experienced a cpl of miracles this time around which are personal but very real. I think cos my mind is made up and I understand that I cannot even take one drink whatsoever, it has made the cravings considerably less and for that I am most grateful.
My question to anyone who has managed to get this far (!) is:
1/ I have moments of feeling very depressed and this is not my 'normal state'. Is this common in early sobriety and does anyone know if it is, why? And what can be done about it? I woke up so depressed today I didn't make it to my group weekly group meeting and shrink visit and this is most unusual.
2/ I am having extreme lack of confidence issues and feel totally disliked and paranoid. Is this also part of early recovery? I must confess I have always had this but it is 1000 times worse at present.
I look forward to anyone's answers esp of their own experiences with these issues in the early days. I am just 44 days sober.
Thanking you in anticipation,
Viola
My name is Viola and I live in Australia. It is a pleasure to meet you all. I am happily married and 43. Have been a binge drinker since I was about 15 but it started to become a major problem early in my '20s. I have been in rehab four times and recently was my final time for I have now completely surrendered and rely heavily on three higher powers, that of God, poetry writing and music.
This time is different in that not only have I declared this problem to the whole of my world (both jobs included), I have been willing to go to any measures this time to achieve sobriety and continue with daily outpatient therapy and AA. Also, I have experienced a cpl of miracles this time around which are personal but very real. I think cos my mind is made up and I understand that I cannot even take one drink whatsoever, it has made the cravings considerably less and for that I am most grateful.
My question to anyone who has managed to get this far (!) is:
1/ I have moments of feeling very depressed and this is not my 'normal state'. Is this common in early sobriety and does anyone know if it is, why? And what can be done about it? I woke up so depressed today I didn't make it to my group weekly group meeting and shrink visit and this is most unusual.
2/ I am having extreme lack of confidence issues and feel totally disliked and paranoid. Is this also part of early recovery? I must confess I have always had this but it is 1000 times worse at present.
I look forward to anyone's answers esp of their own experiences with these issues in the early days. I am just 44 days sober.
Thanking you in anticipation,
Viola
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
You may not be aware of this....
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
However...my depression vanished around 2 months of AA recovery.
...Welcome to our recovery community
Well done on your sober time!
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
However...my depression vanished around 2 months of AA recovery.
...Welcome to our recovery communityWell done on your sober time!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4
Oh Carol,
Thank you soooo much. This explains quite a lot actually, not only about what I asked but the sleep issues. I am constantly sleeping! Thank you thank you thank you. I am VERY grateful and all is in perspective now esp with the story given about the man who was also a binge drinker.
I cannot thank you enough!
Viola
Thank you soooo much. This explains quite a lot actually, not only about what I asked but the sleep issues. I am constantly sleeping! Thank you thank you thank you. I am VERY grateful and all is in perspective now esp with the story given about the man who was also a binge drinker.
I cannot thank you enough!
Viola
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 84
hell no. paranoia is a subset of self-pity, obviously this isn't true for all disorders but a good amount of people who suffer from paranoia have it caused from their anxiety. I believe the way to cure this is to actively remind yourself about being confident, positive and that paranoia will only hurt you.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to SR Viola :ghug3
I'm glad you are here. This is a wonderful place of support and information. Today is day 51 for me on being sober (this time). Like you I finally got my head and heart into agreement. I can not drink alcohol. I can not contol my drinking; drinking controls me. One less internal conflict.
I don't feel as crazy today as I did during the first 30 days. My anxiety was terrible, but it is getting better everyday. It is part of the process of our bodies transitioning from alcohol dependence to non-alcohol forms of energy and nutrition. Hang in there!
Welcome to SR where abnormal is normal.
I'm glad you are here. This is a wonderful place of support and information. Today is day 51 for me on being sober (this time). Like you I finally got my head and heart into agreement. I can not drink alcohol. I can not contol my drinking; drinking controls me. One less internal conflict.
I don't feel as crazy today as I did during the first 30 days. My anxiety was terrible, but it is getting better everyday. It is part of the process of our bodies transitioning from alcohol dependence to non-alcohol forms of energy and nutrition. Hang in there!
Welcome to SR where abnormal is normal.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4
Thank you both for your support, encouragement and acknowledgment. Abnormal is normal?! I am at home then!
Paranoia a subset of self pity? But if it is uncontrollable? See now I'm getting paranoid that getting paranoid is wrong. I think RD Laing wrote a book of poems about this form of thinking!
I will go back to bed (its quite ok as it is almost midnight here - sleep is permitted now
Thank you again. I really appreciate knowing you are there.
Viola xx
Paranoia a subset of self pity? But if it is uncontrollable? See now I'm getting paranoid that getting paranoid is wrong. I think RD Laing wrote a book of poems about this form of thinking!
I will go back to bed (its quite ok as it is almost midnight here - sleep is permitted now
Thank you again. I really appreciate knowing you are there.
Viola xx
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
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Welcome to SR! Glad that you found us! 
A lot of great support here as you can see already! Please check out our
other forums and the stickies at the top of the page as they are filled with
a wealth of information!
Keep posting you are not alone in this!
A lot of great support here as you can see already! Please check out our
other forums and the stickies at the top of the page as they are filled with
a wealth of information!
Keep posting you are not alone in this!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,773
Welcome ViolaBow!! You've come to a great place for support and information. In early sobriety our feelings are all over the place and often feel out of control. As your sobriety grows stronger these feelings will settle down. Do see your doctor about the depression. Take good care of yourself. Again, welcome!!
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