rurdy2rk

Congratulations on 24 hours. Now just concentrate on today. You can do it! it gets easier...

Pelican

I am so glad you made the 24 hours!

I remember one of my attempts at sobriety that my husband would keep offering me a drink. Another time he tried asking me everyday if my guilt was still keeping me from enjoying a drink. This time he actually tells me I am doing a good job now that I am on day 55.

I'm doing this because I have to do this. I do not need my spouses support or help. I have failed everytime I tried to get his help and support. I mean business this time. Doing it for me.

You may notice odd behavior from your spouse. I guess they are testing the waters. I know if my husband tried to live sober, I might not be able to put much faith in that and therefore I would be indifferent so that my feelings wouldn't be hurt if he failed. Basically, if I didn't expect much I wouldn't be disappointed. Maybe your wife feels that. She saw you try before and you failed. She might be afraid of getting her hopes up.

But for today, you hang in there! You can do this. Do it for yourself!

coffeeboy

I didn't make it, I am sorry. I kind of knew I wouldn't. I really had a crave for somthing strong, not beer. I know of a couple of my friends that just quit drinking liquor, and stuck to beer. I am confused right now. I have an anual doctor's apointment tomorrow. I bought a fith of whiskey tonight and had a few. I might tell my doctor that I am trying to quit, but what would he think? I am not sure that would do any good. I have been drinking, and I am going to post again tomrrow. At least I am not so drunk that I am slurring, my family doesn't suspect right now. Goodnight to all of you good people.

sunflower1776

Coffeeboy--tomorrow is another day...if you didn't do it today, try again tomorrow and keep trying until you succeed. Quitting anything someone is addicted to is NOT EASY and we cannot expect it to be. I am trying to recover from opiate addiction, and I have relapsed several times in the past 7 weeks since I quit. But I keepgetting up and trying again. I didn't read the posts in order, but I did see one where you were wondering if people told peole in their lives they were tyring to quit. this is a hard one, but ultimately I would say that yes you should tell your wife. However, at the same time I would tell her you do not want a babysitter. You do not want her asking you every 10 minutes how you were feelings. I would tell her all you ask is for her to be there for you when you do need to talk, and if you feel you need to have a drink desperately, use her to talk you through the urges or if you believe in AA, have her get you to a meeting immediately. Just so you know, in case you don't, there are a variety of medicatoins available now to help when quitting alcohol. I think the name of one is vivitrol, but there are a few more--it takes away the cravings. As for me I am using suboxone which is for opiate addicts. I wish you the best of luck. What i said about your wife--I only said what I did is becaue I know for me, when I told my family I was an addict and was subsequently quitting (they found out both in the same 10 minutes!), I did not want them checking on me all the time. I needed my own time to think through things and to deal with what I was feeling. If you're the same way, that is why I recommended asking your wife for your space yet her understanding and compassion. Good luck--you can do this!

Boleo

Abstinence alone is not a program. In fact, it is a complete lack of a program and fails about 19 out of 20 of those who try it.

Stopping drinking is one thing. Staying stopped is a whole new ball game. If you want to stay in the game for good, try reading and posting in the "Alcoholism-12 Step Support" forum.

least

Coffeeboy, it's not a matter of 'not wanting' failures posted. I always 'fessed up when I relapsed, part of being honest with myself and my friends. I get strength and hope from the failures of others as well as their success. I learn from the failure that I don't want to go back there. And from the success I learn how to succeed myself.

Having SR to be accountable to is very helpful to me. I don't want to lie, even tho it's the anonymous internet, it wouldn't be right. So SR keeps me honest, but also keeps me rewarded in the comments I get. I'm thrilled to be staying sober after so many failed attempts. I love writing down my days as they accumulate. It keeps me sober and staying sober makes me a better person.

Please don't feel that we won't care if you should relapse, we don't want that to happen. But if you are tempted, come here first and tell us what's on your mind. Maybe we can get you thru the temptation in one sober piece. We'll certainly try.:ghug

gfireboy22

I am currently in the middle of nowhere Northern Canada in an oilfield camp, 1 week in sober, alert, and no alcohol anywhere. I am that guy who feels like a champ in the morning, but by afternoon the werewolf comes out, and I just know a little bottle of vodka will make things better. Then it's done and I promise that I'll just have a sip out of another one I buy before my wife gets home. I drink the whole thing hidden in the crack of the leather couch in the basement. Believe me, now she knows.

Point being, willpower can be tough, but if you can seperate yourself from even the possibility of alcohol, over time, the urge goes away. What about a remote fly in two week fishing/ hunting trip. If you can't get it, your cravings go away

Pelican

Ah, you had the whiskey whisper.
Good news and bad news:
Bad news, your cravings are not going away anytime soon.
Good news, you can overcome the cravings.

You can post online and get an assault of support when the cravings hit. Find physical things to do beside remaining motionless between cravings. Look for Carol D's posting about the cravings. She timed hers and they were 5-7 minutes long. No too long in reality. She also recommends very cold water and or hard candy. I think the cold numbs the tongue and the candy really helps the sugar craving we get from withdrawal from alcohol. (Thanks Carol D)

Being honest with you Dr today will give you more options on maintaining sobriety. You will also get some needed tests done to determine what effect liqour has taken on your body.

Good luck and keep posting.

Hilltopper1972

Coffeeboy, come on man, lets do this today! Get all hopped up on coffee starting at 5pm and keep drinking it until bed time. It is Monday, week day. It is time to quit but you got to want it. I know you "Mostly" want it, but you have to fully want it and we can't do it for you. I caved last night, 3 beers, didn't really even like it. I switched over to coffee after 2 and 1/2 really cause I actually prefer it. So here I am, pissed that I caved a bit, but happy because my head is clear, I'm alert, and know that I'm starting to not like booze very much. Friends came over, with a 20 pack and I was weak. For whatever reason though I feel compelled to help you even though I struggle with my own addiction. I really think you need to say goodbye but you need a jump start and I don't know what that is. Mine was an ulcer in my stomach from nightly 1 1/2 bottles of wine washed down with Advil the next day. I was afraid of dying. What is yours? If you wait long enough something bad WILL happen, you can count on it. I'm begging you to stop man, enough is enough and this will slowly kill you over time. Are you truly ready to say goodbye to booze?

Anna

Hi Coffeeboy,

I'm glad to see you here and that you are trying to stop drinking.

When I was drinking, I was totally convinced that I was hiding my drinking from neighbors, friends and my family most of the time. After I was sober for awhile, I realized what a joke that was. I was only fooling myself.

I hope you come back today and try again.

four812

this makes sense....


AND if you tell others it also exposes your secret. shines some light on it. that is a lot of why AA is so helpful. when you talk about your problem and recover in front of others the secret is out.

Coffee boy.....how about try this....make an easy commitment......how about commiting to go to 3 AA meetings. three for sure. and if you don't like the first one you go to, then go to a different one the second time. three times.

you don't have to even talk at a meeting. many people don't. and you may hear something that helps you on your path to stopping.

what do you say? 3 meetings.....they are only about an hour long

rurdy2rk

Hi CoffeeBoy, how did it go at the doctor's office? How is today "shaping up"? We are all thinking of you...You CAN do this!

sunflower1776

Hey CoffeeBoy!! Wanted to check up on you today and see the MD went. We're all thinking of you as you can see by reading this thread. As someone said it's nice to be abel to come to these online forums and just talk about what is going, what you are feeling, what your cravings are, and even that you relapsed/slipped up---and NO ONE is going to judge you. We are all in this together and we all NEED each othr to get through this. I'm thinking about you and all the others and here and wishing everyone 'one more day'

flutter

Hi coffeeboy, just wanted to see how you were doing today

coffeeboy

I was a little afraid to come in here today. I did tell the doctor that I have been drinking too much. But....when he asked if I needed help, I told him that I was confident I could quit. I actually lied a little, and told him that I usually make myself quit a couple days a week, so I knew I could do it if I want too. I did ask for a blood test to check my liver, since I have been taking Zocor and you are not suppose to drink heavy with it because it can cause liver damage. I have not been good. I had two big drinks last night (about 6 ounces each). I told the doctor I have not been real happy and I have drank to pick myself up. He gave me a sample of Lipitor (antidepressent). I am going to "try" and see if I can take that, and quit the heavy drinking at night. If the blood test says everything is fine, I am afraid that might be a good excuse to just keep up the drinking. I really don't want to waste all of you wonderful peoples time with my halfway attempts at this. I am not qoing to quit posting, but I will try post better information in the future. THANKS FOR ALL THE CARING!!!!!!

SlvrMag

Please don't quit posting. Your story helps others, whether you know it or not.

rurdy2rk

I'm not giving up on you CoffeBoy. One of the keys is to be honest to yourself. I also beleive ksplash5 made a great suggestion to attend an AA meeting. You honestly don't have to say a thing. If you go to a speaker meeting, you can listen to someones story. I bet you that you will finf something in common with their story - because I can relate to what you are talking about right now. I've been there myself...

coffeeboy

This is such a new experience, to share all of this information I have NEVER shared with anyone. It is helping me. I never faced the fact that it was really a problem until I came here. At least I realize It is a problem. The links that were shared with the tests scared me. One told me I drank more than 94% of the country. And it just asked for the number of drinks, not ounces! The health factor scares me the most. I do wish to thank everyone and their positive thoughts. I will accept tough ones also, I am pretty thick skinned!

Even though alcohol didn't bring on my financial problems, it sure contributes to them I guess. I spend quite a bit these days. As I was told I will have to come up with a "plan". Thanks again!

rurdy2rk

Just keep coming back CoffeBoy

Pelican

Glad to see you're back CB! I did not give up you, either.

You have a lot of people here at SR pulling for you. I'm sure there are online guests that are getting encouragement from you at this stage, too. You have stepped out of your comfort zone and told your Dr and us at SR about your alcohol concerns. You have taken ownership of your addiction. That is huge!!

Keep on keeping on!

Financial costs of drinking?! That has caused me more anxiety and loss of sleep. Ugh! Know what I do now? Try to reward myself with something that contributes to my long term health. Since I'm still trying to dig out of a financial hole, it doesn't have to be much. My first reward was a magazine. I celebrated one month sober with the book "Under the Influence" and since then I have purchased a pair of walking shoes so I can get out and pound the pavement!

You can do this!