Day 24: Social Anxiety
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 47
Day 24: Social Anxiety
Wondering if anyone else suffers from social anxiety. For the past year and a half, I have been in semi-retirement and been basically self-employed. As a result of that I do not have to go out to work and can work from my office at my house.
It seems when I do go out I do not enjoy large crowds or the majority of people. This is magnified by social settings where people are drinking.
I have become somewhat of a loner and shun hanging out with certain groups of people.
It seems when I do go out I do not enjoy large crowds or the majority of people. This is magnified by social settings where people are drinking.
I have become somewhat of a loner and shun hanging out with certain groups of people.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 1
I suffered from terrible social anxiety growing up and into my early 20's. It's terrible to live with.
I've treated mine for years chemically with paxil- and I can't say enough good things about it but there are a lot of people that can though, so do your research and talk with the doctor / psych about it first.
I went to a psych for about a year and it really helped. SA is like "Ouroboros", the snake devouring itself, and is a "fear of fear".
I would find myself in a social situation and start to worry about how I was acting and what the other people I was speaking with though about me, and I'd start to panic. Then I would avoid social situations because I didn't want to have people see me panic for no reason. A fear of fear.
Meanwhile, when I look back at my life then: I was employed and was working in a sales job(!), played in a band with friends, had a steady girlfriend... later in life when I disclosed my SA to certain people they couldn't believe it.
Look into drugs like paxil and talk to your doctor - it can help you, especially if you're suffering from Panic Attacks like I was. There were times at the end where I had to flee from certain situations because I felt my heart racing and I would sweat.
Without the drugs I can suggest a couple of things:
1- take stock of your life, and those in it. Do you have friends now, people that have been in your life in the past? Ask yourself: "If I am as bad as I think I am, why are these people in my life?". SA is mostly baseless, like I said, I had a lot of people in my life that would have helped me through my SA but I was afraid.
2- The hard part: force yourself through your fear. Like all phobias the best way is to learn that they're baseless. You have to demonstrate to yourself that you can survive in a social environment. One thing I did was to go outside of my typical circle of friends- that way if I did freak out I could know that I'd probably never see those people again anyway so there wasn't anything to lose. Join a book club, or donate time to a charity cause to meet more people.
3- Accept that you're not perfect, and that nobody is. I always was comparing myself to others- judging my social abilities against theirs. Now I don't care. You now know that I suffer from the same thing that you do, I've admitted to you I'm not perfect. Imagine all the conversations you've had through your life and the chance that there was a time you were speaking to someone else that was suffering with SA. It's kind of funny if you think about it. There are millions and millions of people who have SA or some other kind of mental disorder. It's a "crazy" world.
4- Be confident in yourself. Know what you're good at, and what you're not good at and accept it. Play to your strengths, improve on your weaknesses. I am still not the best conversationalist, and far from being the "life of the party" and I know I never will be.
There are 2 books that I read that really helped me through my low times. I think everyone should read these as they're simple and true, without gimmicks. Both are by Dale Carnegie: "How to stop worrying and start living", and "How to win friends and influence people". I still live by most of the advice given in these 2 books.
I hope I've helped out, I know how ****** SA is. Recognizing it and accepting it is the first step!
W?
I've treated mine for years chemically with paxil- and I can't say enough good things about it but there are a lot of people that can though, so do your research and talk with the doctor / psych about it first.
I went to a psych for about a year and it really helped. SA is like "Ouroboros", the snake devouring itself, and is a "fear of fear".
I would find myself in a social situation and start to worry about how I was acting and what the other people I was speaking with though about me, and I'd start to panic. Then I would avoid social situations because I didn't want to have people see me panic for no reason. A fear of fear.
Meanwhile, when I look back at my life then: I was employed and was working in a sales job(!), played in a band with friends, had a steady girlfriend... later in life when I disclosed my SA to certain people they couldn't believe it.
Look into drugs like paxil and talk to your doctor - it can help you, especially if you're suffering from Panic Attacks like I was. There were times at the end where I had to flee from certain situations because I felt my heart racing and I would sweat.
Without the drugs I can suggest a couple of things:
1- take stock of your life, and those in it. Do you have friends now, people that have been in your life in the past? Ask yourself: "If I am as bad as I think I am, why are these people in my life?". SA is mostly baseless, like I said, I had a lot of people in my life that would have helped me through my SA but I was afraid.
2- The hard part: force yourself through your fear. Like all phobias the best way is to learn that they're baseless. You have to demonstrate to yourself that you can survive in a social environment. One thing I did was to go outside of my typical circle of friends- that way if I did freak out I could know that I'd probably never see those people again anyway so there wasn't anything to lose. Join a book club, or donate time to a charity cause to meet more people.
3- Accept that you're not perfect, and that nobody is. I always was comparing myself to others- judging my social abilities against theirs. Now I don't care. You now know that I suffer from the same thing that you do, I've admitted to you I'm not perfect. Imagine all the conversations you've had through your life and the chance that there was a time you were speaking to someone else that was suffering with SA. It's kind of funny if you think about it. There are millions and millions of people who have SA or some other kind of mental disorder. It's a "crazy" world.
4- Be confident in yourself. Know what you're good at, and what you're not good at and accept it. Play to your strengths, improve on your weaknesses. I am still not the best conversationalist, and far from being the "life of the party" and I know I never will be.
There are 2 books that I read that really helped me through my low times. I think everyone should read these as they're simple and true, without gimmicks. Both are by Dale Carnegie: "How to stop worrying and start living", and "How to win friends and influence people". I still live by most of the advice given in these 2 books.
I hope I've helped out, I know how ****** SA is. Recognizing it and accepting it is the first step!
W?
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