4th day of not drinking

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10-09-2008, 07:43 PM

# 1 (permalink)

gamete

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Join Date: Oct 2008

Location: San Marcos, Tx

Posts: 1

4th day of not drinking

I'm a 25 yo veteran who realized I am starting to have a real dependence on alcohol. I'm a college student right now with a fiance who lives in Italy. I've had more than a couple of bad experiences about my drinking with her mostly when we are far apart. I've been drinking heavily for 8 years starting in the military and transitioning with me into the civilian life. I spent a year in Iraq and got in the best shape of my life only to return to another fiance who left me a week before I got back. So PTSD and depression set in and I got out of the military about 6 months later without any help. But, before I got out I met the wonderful girl I am with now.

I was drinking anywhere from 14-20 beers a night and 3/4 liter of liquor on the weekend days. I am a functional alcoholic (4.0 GPA, health professions student/pre-med) and I am currently just going to school and living off my GI Bill.

My main problem with alcohol is blacking out about 3 times a week and waking up not remembering when I fell to sleep. I'll pass out and not call my fiance and of course that causes problems as the long distance relationship is reliant on communication. On the weekends I'll black out 5 or 6 hours of the night, this past saturday night I had drink about a liter of scotch and had around 10 beers and blacked out for a good portion of a night in Austin with a friend.

I'm tired of this way of life but on this day I can feel that I do have a real dependance on alcohol. I just do not know what to do if I am not drinking. When does this feeling go away?

Thanks for reading my long ass first post.

10-09-2008, 07:53 PM

# 2 (permalink)

deezaldog

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Join Date: Jun 2008

Location: Fort Wayne IN

Posts: 284

Welcome and glad to read your post. If you have doubts and question your drinking you may have a problem. Black outs are a good indicator of a problem. I was a functioning alcoholic for years, as the disease works I progressed to a nonfunctioning isolated physically, mentally exhausted mess. I hope you find your answer, only you can say if you are an alcoholic. Best wishes.

10-09-2008, 08:22 PM

# 3 (permalink)

Isaiah

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Join Date: Aug 2008

Location: The Mitten, USA

Posts: 1,641

Quote:

Originally Posted by gamete

I'm tired of this way of life but on this day I can feel that I do have a real dependance on alcohol. I just do not know what to do if I am not drinking. When does this feeling go away?

I think part of it is what activities you replace drinking with and part of it is just chance.

Four days is a lot of time when you're starting out. It's the hardest. It will get easier but I wouldn't expect the unease of sobriety to fade too quickly. I think the important thing is to accept feeling empty and feeling anxious without a drink is a normal part of kicking the habit.

Think about your first days of training in the military. Sorry I don't speak from experience, but from what I understand the early training can be pretty brutal and physically taxing. Going sober is a lot like that. It can be uncomfortable, sometimes painful, and can be tempting to quit. But temptation and discomfort eventually turn to assets when you realize you can transcend them.

Congrats on four days!

10-09-2008, 08:31 PM

# 4 (permalink)

coffeenut

6/20/08

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 4,467

That was not a long ass first post! You were concise and to the point!

I don't know if anyone can give you a day that all of a sudden you are feeling 'okay' not drinking. Hang in there. It REALLY does get better. REALLY!