dchandler0571

Hello all,

I have been on this forum before but I guess you could still call me a newcomer specifically since I haven't posted here or I have been to an AA meeting in ages. It's been almost 2 years since I attended an AA meeting.

I have been sober for 3 years now and I am looking forward to 4 but I think I will need more help getting through considering I have members of my family who are getting worse because of alcoholism and I really feel I should stay focused in this time of family need.

Changes have happened to me during my 3 years of sobriety. I have lost "friends" during that time and I have gained friends. My outlook on life is based more on what I will accomplish in a day more than it is trying to get over a hangover and I have a change in attitude.

I have a tendency to keep quiet when a conflicting or frustrating situation occurs and I guess I could say that I never really learned how to deal with this type of conflict. A lot of this demeanor stems from beingt raised by my father who was a drinker as well as a man with a bad attitude when I was growing up. You learn from your role models and I want to unlearn some of these negative things in my life. My father is in his golden years now and he is slowly killing himself by getting drunk all the time and it's killing me too. Especially since I am sober and I'm watching the whole situation unfold in front of me with eyes wide open.

Should I start attending meetings more to address this situation or should I seek a higher level of help?

Thank you to all. I know when I was on this group before, I did get a lot of help and it is greatly appreciated.

Regards,
DC

Anna

Hi DC,

I'm glad you're back.

The only thing I can tell you, is that I have done my best to avoid all toxic people and situations since I began recovery. For me, that's a necessity. I need to focus my energy on being positive.

Aysha

Welcome back.

dchandler0571

Maybe I could say that another situation would involve my brother, who, is not as bad as my father when it comes to drinking but he's heading down the same road and I don't want to see that happening to him. He lives with me and I want him to do his best in life but I feel he's not putting forth what potential he has in order to make things positive for him.

DC

bostonluv

Maybe you should also visit the family and friends of alcoholics threads as they can help you give you insight on how not to do that "fixing" thing. It just ends up dragging you down usually instead of youpulling them up. I don't know why that is but we've all been there. You can find healthy ways to support them and yourself but your sobriety needs to come first.

dchandler0571

I think that so far, the best thing I've done is led by example. I've been sober for 3 years now, during which time my brother has cut back on his alcohol intake. I feel that when I'm sober for 10 years, maybe I'll be taken more seriously at that point and he will feel that if I can do it he can do it.

Possibly?

I don't know. You're right, I do need to look out for my sobriety before anyone else.

DC