So Depressed
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Monday, July 21, 2008
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Being Is Enough
We are not always clear about what we are experiencing, or why.
In the midst of grief, transition, transformation, learning, healing, or discipline - it's difficult to have perspective.
That's because we have not learned the lesson yet. We are in the midst of it. The gift of clarity has not yet arrived.
Our need to control can manifest itself as a need to know exactly what's going on. We cannot always know. Sometimes, we need to let ourselves be and trust that clarity will come later, in retrospect.
If we are confused, that is what we are supposed to be. The confusion is temporary. We shall see. The lesson, the purpose, shall reveal itself - in time, in its own time.
It will all make perfect sense - later.
Today, I will stop straining to know what I don't know, to see what I can't see, to understand what I don't yet understand. I will trust that being is sufficient, and let go of my need to figure things out.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Being Is Enough
We are not always clear about what we are experiencing, or why.
In the midst of grief, transition, transformation, learning, healing, or discipline - it's difficult to have perspective.
That's because we have not learned the lesson yet. We are in the midst of it. The gift of clarity has not yet arrived.
Our need to control can manifest itself as a need to know exactly what's going on. We cannot always know. Sometimes, we need to let ourselves be and trust that clarity will come later, in retrospect.
If we are confused, that is what we are supposed to be. The confusion is temporary. We shall see. The lesson, the purpose, shall reveal itself - in time, in its own time.
It will all make perfect sense - later.
Today, I will stop straining to know what I don't know, to see what I can't see, to understand what I don't yet understand. I will trust that being is sufficient, and let go of my need to figure things out.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Suzette, you've come here and posted about your feelings, you haven't curled up in a fetal position, but who would blame you if you did? You aren't weak or whiney, just a loving mother who feels deeply for her family. That's not something to feel bad about. Don't question yourself, just keep trudging forward and things will get better. Just your presence here is helpful, you're one of the family - you're allowed to have a down time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 159
I know that feeling you are experiencing, I am going through the same thing right now... It's pretty negative and its hard to snap out of. For me the use of drugs/alcohol was a crutch for times like these but now I don't have that. It is like the first time in a long time I have to face my feelings and not become numb to them. Its really hard and has been getting to me.
I'm working at speaking with a psychologist and finding activities I enjoy to help with the healing process. One thing I'm beginning to finally learn is you need to forgive yourself and others and move forward as you will never be able to change the past no matter how much you want to.
Thinking of you in this difficult time. It's really good progress that you have been able to stay sober through this incredibly difficult time. Stay strong and we will get through this.
Bruce
I'm working at speaking with a psychologist and finding activities I enjoy to help with the healing process. One thing I'm beginning to finally learn is you need to forgive yourself and others and move forward as you will never be able to change the past no matter how much you want to.
Thinking of you in this difficult time. It's really good progress that you have been able to stay sober through this incredibly difficult time. Stay strong and we will get through this.
Bruce
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Suzette,
Maybe I've just been very lucky or blessed, but my doctor has helped me a great deal with the fibro. He put me on a tiny amount of an old trycylic antidepressant, has me taking 1000 mgs of Calcium, 100mgs of B6 and 100mgs of magnesium at bedtime. Sounds silly but it seems to be working for me. He also prescribed water aerobics 3x a week.
I get trigger point injections of saline and lidocaine when it's really bad. Amazing the relief I get! Plus the progressive relaxation mediations and daily walks improve my mood and keep the pain under control. I haven't taken anything stronger than tylenol in a long time.
I feel so bad for you having to suffer the physical agony while Cam is in pain too. My grandma had Lupus so I do understand about the Rheumatoid factor. Mine's high too.
Please know you're in my thoughts and if I can help in any way, just let me know.
Much love to you.
Lenina
Maybe I've just been very lucky or blessed, but my doctor has helped me a great deal with the fibro. He put me on a tiny amount of an old trycylic antidepressant, has me taking 1000 mgs of Calcium, 100mgs of B6 and 100mgs of magnesium at bedtime. Sounds silly but it seems to be working for me. He also prescribed water aerobics 3x a week.
I get trigger point injections of saline and lidocaine when it's really bad. Amazing the relief I get! Plus the progressive relaxation mediations and daily walks improve my mood and keep the pain under control. I haven't taken anything stronger than tylenol in a long time.
I feel so bad for you having to suffer the physical agony while Cam is in pain too. My grandma had Lupus so I do understand about the Rheumatoid factor. Mine's high too.
Please know you're in my thoughts and if I can help in any way, just let me know.
Much love to you.
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 729
Hang in there Suzette 
I will pray that all this will pass for you... It is no fun to be depressed and empty I am there with you on that one... We will all get through all our obstacles together....
I will pray that all this will pass for you... It is no fun to be depressed and empty I am there with you on that one... We will all get through all our obstacles together....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Thanks for the support, it's nice to know people care.
Still depressed.
Cam has been home for 2 full days. He was making partial days earlier on
I escaped my depression for awhile today, because I had an upper GI that made me to stupid to be depressed. It has pretty much worn off now.
If any of you have had or know anyone who has had JRA, please let me know as I have some questions.
Still depressed.
Cam has been home for 2 full days. He was making partial days earlier on
I escaped my depression for awhile today, because I had an upper GI that made me to stupid to be depressed. It has pretty much worn off now.
If any of you have had or know anyone who has had JRA, please let me know as I have some questions.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Suzette,
You are being an inspiration by managing to get through each of these difficult days.
It's the absolute worst when we see our kids suffer.
And, I know for a fact, that stress is bad for fibro, so try to take care of yourself.
You are being an inspiration by managing to get through each of these difficult days.
It's the absolute worst when we see our kids suffer.
And, I know for a fact, that stress is bad for fibro, so try to take care of yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Well I spoke with the Rheumatologist and he is putting Cam on Prednisone beginning tomorrow. It is a very harsh drug that he will be on for a short amount of time. Long term it can have some bad side effects, but the doc said he should be okay short term.
My test yesterday showed that I have a problem with gastric emptying. Meaning food stays in my stomache for hours after it should have left my stomache. Next Thurs. I have to go for an ultrasound and a gastric emptying study. In this study I cant eat for 14 hours prior and when I get there they will feed me a yummy radiated egg so the technicians can watch it by ex-ray as it travels along. Meanwhile I have to stay completely still for all 90 minutes or the proceedure may need to be redone.
Oh yeah, my 18 year old had a drill fall off a ladder today and gash his chest with the drill bit.
Needless to say I'm still depressed... very...
My test yesterday showed that I have a problem with gastric emptying. Meaning food stays in my stomache for hours after it should have left my stomache. Next Thurs. I have to go for an ultrasound and a gastric emptying study. In this study I cant eat for 14 hours prior and when I get there they will feed me a yummy radiated egg so the technicians can watch it by ex-ray as it travels along. Meanwhile I have to stay completely still for all 90 minutes or the proceedure may need to be redone.
Oh yeah, my 18 year old had a drill fall off a ladder today and gash his chest with the drill bit.
Needless to say I'm still depressed... very...
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