nearing end of day 3 - in misery
 

i reached rock bottom saturday nite and my mom and daughter staged a mini-intervention. i agreed to get sober. today is awful. dizzy, foggy, nausea, emotional, headaches - all i can think of is beer, beer, i gotta have a beer.

was putting away at least a 12 pack a day every day - often more - for about 2 years now. it was my coping mechanism. oh, it's a long story and don't know if i'm even in the right forum, but i figure i could at least try. i feel like (insert dirty word here).

i do have a support system, am too scared to go to AA and can't afford therapy. i would get home around 3:30, stop by the liquor store every day (revolving ones, of course so i was never at the same place 2 days in a row), and start drinking immediately upon arriving home. never mind what would happen when i would go to the bars.

any advice, support, slaps in the face would be appreciated. i have to do this. i want to see my grandkids grow up, my daughter get married, my son get famous (he's a composer). i want to live, but i want to drink so bad. i have made it almost 3 days. that's good, right?

damn miller brewing company!

welcome Rachel :)

I was where you were.
almost 3 days is great. Keep reading and posting. There's a ton of advice and support here.

It is possible to dig your way out - takes some work - but you can do it :)

Here's to your day 4!
D

3 days is great! That obsessive craving for beer will lessen as you get more days behind you.
You're not alone here. Don't be afraid of AA, it's a room full of people who have been through the same thing you have.

Hang in there, and post as much as you need to.

Hey Rachel, welcome to SR! Yes, 3 days is great and eventually it gets much better.

Recovery can be a slow process though, it takes determination and a lot of hard work. Don't take a drink no matter what! Keep using that support and try to have an open mind about AA or any program of recovery. It's difficult to do this alone, that's why we're all here for help and support.

If you haven't seen the sticky's at the top of the forums, please take the time to read through as much as possible http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Well done, 3 days is great!! I was terrified of AA, but I went anyway and it really has helped. It is just a bunch of people like us, really, but all in the same room!

You're definitely in the right forum! There's lots of us in the "Two weeks and under..." thread struggling away and you are welcome to join us.

Hi Rachel!

3 days is great!:You_Rock_ Keep up the great work. I got 11 days and it hasnt been all that easy. I have luckily kept myself very busy with school. Trying to really throw myself in it but it gets hard because I get side tracked and antsy and stressed and think too oh a beer would be nice..but I know what one beer leads to...about 20 more...I cant stand to see a beer in the fridge, it has to be drank...lol..or it USED to have to be drank. Now it can sit there because I am going to do this and u can too! Be proud of urself! going from a 12 pack a day to nothing is great. Small steps, one day at a time is way better then killing ur organs and robing ur loved ones of time with u! i look forward to reading more posts from u!

Rachel,
Welcome! 3 days is GREAT and you are in the right place!

All I can offer is my experience. I am almost 5 months sober and I SO needed to change my patterns and behaviors. I would buy wine on the way home and start drinking and continue throughout the evening. The first 30-45 days I had a hard time being home without a drink in my hand, especially right after work. For me? I was more afraid of drinking than I was of AA so I went. Might I suggest you do what i did? The first meeting I went to was a closed Womens meeting. It for whatever reason made it less scary for me. My second meeting was a Speakers meeting where only the speaker talked so I knew no one would ask me to talk. I then got a AA schedule booklet and went through it. I highlighted all the meetings in my area that I could get to and started going to a meeting a day. This was hard because I have a husband, children, full time job and extra curricular activities with my kids but I did not have a choice for that first 30-45 days. It was that or drink. And I have not had a drink since May 8th.

We are all here to support you. Keep reading and posting!!


ETA: make sure you are drinking LOTS of water and taking a daily vitamin to help flush out the toxins.

B vitamins are especially important as alcohol depletes the body of B vitamins. I've been trying to stop drinking since last December and as of today have 79 days sober, so you can see how many false starts I've had.

If you're at the end of day 3 you're thru the worst of the physical withdrawal, from my experience. But even with the alcohol out of your system you can still have odd effects from Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, also known as PAWS. There's a sticky on paws at the top of one of the forums, I think the Alcoholism forum. Explains that while you're free of alcohol, your body and brain are still making the switch from drinking to not drinking. Memory problems, hard to concentrate, things like that. Irritating but not bad for you. Do keep taking vitamins, especially the B vits, as that will help put your brain back to its normal state. One of the signs of PAWS is anxiety, which can be helped by such simple things as Sleepytime tea, with chamomile and valerian, herbal relaxing agents.

Do read our posts, here and in the Alcoholism forum. Lots of good experience and hope there. And feel welcome to join some of the threads like Two weeks and under, Class of September (for those who quit drinking this month), and various other threads. And please post your feelings and questions. We'll do our best to give you answers based on our experience - tho not medical questions as we can't answer those.

Welcome to a great place for support and friendship! We're glad you found us! And if you have terrible urges to drink, post here first and we'll do our best to talk you out of drinking. Travelling this road to recovery is a lot more fun when you've got us to travel with!

:ghug3

Hi Rach,

Your very fortunate to have a mother and daughter with the strength of love to intervene. Having that kind of support is important. You’ll find support here and at AA when you’re your ready.

Three days sober is excellent!

Welcome to SD

Ed

:ghug3Welcome Rachel

You have found a great place for information and support. 3 days is a great accomplishment!

A lot of good suggestions already posted here today. I found the change of routines to be very helpful indeed! Instead of going home with a beer, or 24, going by a bookstore and getting a book or magazine was more helpful. I also started doing chores in the evening that I normally put off until mornings.

Mix things up and let us know what works for you!

:Dance7: You are on your way to day 4!

Rachel? How are you doing now?

Silly me! The info on PAWS is in the link given you already by Astro! And I can't blame alcohol on my 'brain freeze' as I've always been like that.

Day 3 is great! You have 2 down! You'll start to feel better and better. Your dreams CAN come true. Just don't pick up that nasty Miller. Welcome to SR.....read a lot, post a lot.

Congratulations
 

I'm very happy for you that you have 3 days without a drink. I can't help but wonder why you are scared of going to AA though? My experience has been that there are people there who have been through what you have and can show you a way out of the misery by doing the things they have done. I encourage you to at least get a Big Book and read it. Maybe you'll see yourself in one or two of the stories and with any luck your fear of AA will dissipate. When the pain gets bad enough, change will occur. Unfortunately for us alcoholics (or at least this alcoholic) we (I) have a high threshold for pain.

i'm overwhelmed! thanks so much for all your kind replies! made it through day 3 and am well into day 4 now. it seems the longer the day goes on, the worse my problems get. is that because i would always drink in the afternoon and the closer it gets to my preferred start time, my mind and body is telling me it needs the alcohol?

ironically, i realized that day 1 for me was on my daughter's 23rd birthday. and i have reconciled with my wonderful boyfriend who fell victim to my alcoholism as well on the same day. he has been a pillar of strength for me through these horrible symptoms/physical problems. i've heard valium or xanax can help. should i pursue that?

thanks so very much for having this group. i look forward to being a member of this board and am already taking on some of your advice. maybe someday i can help someone else!

oh, and on the topic of AA, i live in a small town and because of my profession, i am terrified it will hinder my chances of getting a full-time job in my field. i "fill in" for people on a regular basis and have found out that i have smelled like alcohol when i show up in the morning on more than one occasion and that may have something to do with me not getting hired for a position already. another embarrasment!

i do have a copy of the big book and have been reading it, but my threshhold for pain is not very high at all!

meanwhile, trying to stay strong!!!!

thx again all!

To answer your questions. Yes! That is exactly why it is harder as the day does on! That is why it is important for you to shake up your routine a bit, trick that disease!

Honey, if people see you in the rooms of AA, that is because they are in AA themselves! Attending AA is a LOT less embarrassing than those same people seeing you at the bar or buying wine at the store....

Believe it or not, you are already helping many of us! It is so important that none of us forget what Day 3 was like and that we can only keep what we have by giving it away. AND there are many on this board that will look to you because maybe they only have 1 day today or not even. We are all vital to recovery!!

SOOOO happy for you that you are on day 4!! :You_Rock_

Rachel, I'm glad you're staying strong. You can do this, it just takes hard work on your part and being willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober. I wish you the best!

:ghug3

This is from Hamlet. I think it helps.

" Refrain to-night,
And that shall lend a kind of easiness
To the next abstinence: the next more easy;
For use almost can change the stamp of nature"

One day at a time, one night at a time.
We are all in this together.
All the best.

Rachel,
I hope to see a day four thread from you tomorrow.

Your body etablished a pattern of accepting the alcohol and now is rejecting the fact it does not have any.

I know when I quit I get cravings for alcohol and sugar. Go treat yourself to some ice cream or sugary treat and see if that helps with the cravings.

Hope to hear from you tomorrow.

I know how hard it can be to stop but being sober is a great life to live.
take it one day at a time and things will work out for you