hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1
hi
hi everyone. i hope everyone's doing well. i'm brand new here, i found this forum by googleing "i feel horrible."
i've been smoking pot, absolutely every day since i was about 17. i'm 21 now, living the apartment life, been doing jobs everything between delivering pizzas and working crappy kitchen jobs. i dropped out of high school to be with my user boyfriend at the time, who was 10 years older than me.
he was a horrible man and we broke up a long time ago, and i'd like to think that i've kept a level head this whole time other than the fact that i'm a pot addict. when i run out, i'll spend close to an hour cleaning my pipe and smoking with sticky, tarry resin fingers. i have run out again now, and i don't have the money or patience to continue this lifestyle anymore. it's hard because i know that i had so much potential back in the day, and it's crazy to look at it and wonder where it all went.
at one point i was snorting adderol in the hotel bathroom of my family reunion just to get a buzz. isn't that sick?
i'm with a really good guy now, who also smokes and drinks recreationally, but we're both depressed. i'd like to take the first step and learn how to live a clean lifestyle. i'm back on track with school. my extended family is littered with former addicts who are now sober, and i feel like i may have burned some bridges with them; which is why i have always shied away from the program. it always held negative energy for me, with a feeling that i wouldn't belong. i was also afraid that my presence would discourage other people who are actually fighting some serious battles. i am not ready to announce anything, i don't think, but i would still like to introduce myself to the community.
so hi
i've been smoking pot, absolutely every day since i was about 17. i'm 21 now, living the apartment life, been doing jobs everything between delivering pizzas and working crappy kitchen jobs. i dropped out of high school to be with my user boyfriend at the time, who was 10 years older than me.
he was a horrible man and we broke up a long time ago, and i'd like to think that i've kept a level head this whole time other than the fact that i'm a pot addict. when i run out, i'll spend close to an hour cleaning my pipe and smoking with sticky, tarry resin fingers. i have run out again now, and i don't have the money or patience to continue this lifestyle anymore. it's hard because i know that i had so much potential back in the day, and it's crazy to look at it and wonder where it all went.
at one point i was snorting adderol in the hotel bathroom of my family reunion just to get a buzz. isn't that sick?
i'm with a really good guy now, who also smokes and drinks recreationally, but we're both depressed. i'd like to take the first step and learn how to live a clean lifestyle. i'm back on track with school. my extended family is littered with former addicts who are now sober, and i feel like i may have burned some bridges with them; which is why i have always shied away from the program. it always held negative energy for me, with a feeling that i wouldn't belong. i was also afraid that my presence would discourage other people who are actually fighting some serious battles. i am not ready to announce anything, i don't think, but i would still like to introduce myself to the community.
so hi
Silly Rabbit
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 956
hi.
you're right where i was when i got sober. 21, job after job, scraping the pipe... yup. i, however, am an alcoholic. when i couldn't smoke pot, i drank like it was going out of style. it turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because it got me to the rooms of AA.
my family is full of addicts and alcoholics. i know how it feels to shy away from something, even if there's no good reason. i hope that you find what it is you're looking for, and i hope you don't let contempt prior to investigation keep you away from something that is life-changing (not to mention lifesaving.)
take good care. message me if you want to chat.
you're right where i was when i got sober. 21, job after job, scraping the pipe... yup. i, however, am an alcoholic. when i couldn't smoke pot, i drank like it was going out of style. it turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because it got me to the rooms of AA.
my family is full of addicts and alcoholics. i know how it feels to shy away from something, even if there's no good reason. i hope that you find what it is you're looking for, and i hope you don't let contempt prior to investigation keep you away from something that is life-changing (not to mention lifesaving.)
take good care. message me if you want to chat.
Who Farted?
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 67
Welcome to SR, vneck. Congratulations on your decision to address your addiction. You have a lot of life ahead of you, I hope you can turn things around. Keep posting and sharing, it helps us all.
Traid.
Traid.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
nice to meet you, vneck. i'm a mom of an alcoholic/addict - my daughter is 24 and goes in and out of recovery. i know when she's clean and sober, she is happier and more focused on her career and education goals, and does better managing money and relationships. it sounds like you understand the consequences of addiction. i hope you can find some answers and support here.
hugs, and keep posting, k
hugs, and keep posting, k
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Hi vneck and welcome to SR.
I can relate to cleaning out the pipe when i ran out of pot. My drug of choice is alcohol, but i also loved pot when i had it. I'm grateful I haven't had any pot since Dec. 07; or any alcohol since Jan. Getting sober is possible One day at a time.
I'm glad your here and addressing that you have a problem. Keep reading and posting.
Barb
I can relate to cleaning out the pipe when i ran out of pot. My drug of choice is alcohol, but i also loved pot when i had it. I'm grateful I haven't had any pot since Dec. 07; or any alcohol since Jan. Getting sober is possible One day at a time.
I'm glad your here and addressing that you have a problem. Keep reading and posting.
Barb
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
i found this forum by googleing "i feel horrible."
I'm glad you are here. Please keep posting, reading and send pms to people if you like. :ghug3
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
Yep, we all feel pretty horrible here (joking!). I remember going through the hoover bag (I used to smoke solid cannabis resin) when I ran out. And I found some too!!!!! All perfectly reasonable behaviour at the time.
Welcome to SR, lovely to have you here.:ghug
Welcome to SR, lovely to have you here.:ghug
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
Welcome to a great place for support and friendship! You sure did come to the right place, as we are all in different stages of recovery from different addictions. We help ourselves and each other stay clean and sober by sharing our experience strength and hope, and we do pretty well at it, I think.
I vowed to stop drinking last December but as of today I have 79 days sober, so you can see I wasn't successful for quite a while. But my friends here never gave up on me and kept encouraging me to keep trying.
We'll do the same for you too. Never give up on you and encourage you to keep trying. That's what friends are for! Welcome!
:ghug3
I vowed to stop drinking last December but as of today I have 79 days sober, so you can see I wasn't successful for quite a while. But my friends here never gave up on me and kept encouraging me to keep trying.
We'll do the same for you too. Never give up on you and encourage you to keep trying. That's what friends are for! Welcome!
:ghug3
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Vneck Welcome to SR! Glad that you found us-Taking the step to just look us up is a great step!
There is a lot of support here-so please when you are ready-come back and share with us-We are here for you
Please check out the other forums and the stickies at the top of there is a wealth of information.
Glad that you are here...
There is a lot of support here-so please when you are ready-come back and share with us-We are here for you
Please check out the other forums and the stickies at the top of there is a wealth of information.
Glad that you are here...
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