Coolmummy

I'm struggling with this one a bit - to me 'relapsing' would be going to the shop, buying two bottles of white wine and drinking them in front of the tv in one evening. That would be bad.

If, however, I had one glass of red wine with a meal, and no more, then didn't touch a drink again for, say a month, would that be a serious relapse??

I haven't done this by the way! Just using an example.

sas

Hope

For me, I would consider any alcohol a relapse.

That one drink would catch up to me and it wouldn't be long before I was back in the bottle again.

IMHO

and from personal experience.

TryingSoHard

I agree with Hope. I think *any* amount of drinking would qualify as a relapse. And I've been asking myself the exact same question the past few days... wondering if I took "just one swig" out of the bottle if that would count.

Yep. It would. I'd be back to Day 0 again. One sip or one bottle. Doesn't matter.

Done_With_It

Meth was my doc, if I decide to do a line, a half a line, a quarter of a line,
"To Me" that is a relapse. I can only decide what a relapse is.
I would be a bit concerned if I was wondering and asking if I could do a line
and not call it a relapse. But that is just me, that would mean my addictive
mind was playing games with me that I wasn't aware of.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

:ghug2

TryingSoHard

Exactly.

Ananda

Hi CM...well it would be a "serious" relapse because it can trigger the craving and it can hopen the door to the mental obsession that maybe just maybe i CAN controll this...i had just one and it's been 2 months. I actually think those kind of "slips" are the hardest. When you get smashed at least you know you didn't controll it.

that said...you don't loose everything you learned before the relapse. and a careful review of what thoughts preceded the drink (the insanity that precedes the first drink) can help us learn alot about how to spot and stop the insanity before we pick up.

Good questions CM!

colagirl

For me, it would be a relapse, because it would eventually lead me back to the same place... active addiction.

Hope

I think this one sentence can pretty much sum it up.

It is addictive thinking causing these thoughts.
Very dangerous thinking.

When you become aware that it is addictive thinking, you are then able to change your thinking and continue forward in your recovery.

If you are having these thoughts and don't do anything to change them, it puts your recovery on very slippery ground.

SelfSeeking

One sip for me=relapse. If the bottle didn't follow right then, it wouldn't be long! And I would have drank... it would feel very significant to me. And sad. Yuck. I don't wanna go there.

Eclipse

Any alcohol for me would be a relapse. I have walked by my husband's open beer on the counter and thought of taking a sip...but in my mind I would have to start all over with day 1 and I wouldn't want that. Also, I know myself well enough to know what one sip would lead to. Done that too many times.

I would love to come home every night and have a nice glass or two or red wine like normal people and good for me but I know that even thinking I could drink one or two glasses of wine and stop is that evil voice telling me, "oh, go ahead you can do it."

bostonluv

Absolutely. I know from personal experience that one glass of wine sets me off. I have had several experiences in my life where I moderated/controlled my drinking. I was cured! I even did this for a couple years with great success (most of the time). But....I always end up back in a mess of alcoholism. Some posts that help: Read about people who went for years (2,5, 10, 18 years) without drinking and then had some wine, beer, spirits. They end right back in that dark place and fairly quickly. I am always amazed by that.

What's going on Coolmummy?

Coolmummy

Nothing heavy - honest!! I was curious, that's all. I wanted to know what, in everyones minds was a 'relapse'. I have had those 'just one drink' thoughts, but haven't and won't do it.

Thank you for your answers though. I also know that one sip would lead to those two bottles!

sas

SlvrMag

I second that. Meth in ANY amount would be a relapse FOR ME. I also know that I could not just stop at a small amount...if I did a little, IT WOULD BE ON!

As far as alcohol, IMHO, I can have a beer and not go any further with it. BUT if I get buzzed, my mind starts to crave meth so I just decided it's in my best interest NOT to drink.

Done_With_It

The only reason I know I can't have "Just one Line"
is because one time after a bout of sobriety I found a nice fresh bag
of it outside a Nordstroms dept. store. I held on to that baby for the
longest time, then one day was feeling extra strong in my
recovery (ha ha) and thought, I KNOW I am strong enough now,
this time It will be different, I can do just on line.....

What a joke that turned out to be. I honestly didn't know.
But I do know...

tennis71

"To thine own self be true"

You likely know the answer to your question already, otherwise you would not have asked it. This is like the alcoholic who asks everyone if they think he/she has a problem. They already know the answer but are not willing to admit it yet and are hoping that others will say that they are a normal drinker.

I am an alcoholic. I cannot drink and to me any alcohol that I drink intentionally is a relapse. It can start the cravings again and for me, 1 drink will lead to 10 and even more.

Another way to look at it is if you are in treatment and they gave you a drug test. The test will not show your intentions or the fact that you don't plan on drinking for another month, the test shows that you drank alcohol, plain and simple. In treatment, you cannot drink any alcohol; in recovery, you should not drink any alcohol.

The overall decision is yours though. I am not working your program of recovery, it is not my sobriety that we are questioning. You need to be honest with yourself, knowing what you know about yourself, and ask if it is a relapse or not.

I hope that gives you some insight and I apologize if it sounds preachy. No matter what, I pray that you stay healthy and I hope you keep posting.

:praying

bostonluv

Just checking Sas. It is a good question. I love seeing your progress btw.

freshstart

One is too many and a thousand is never enough. Relapse is one or a thousand. Doesn't matter. When I start thinking I can control it I'm doomed.

Stubborn1

It would lead to me "trying" to control drinking again and I know from my past that I can not.
If you talk yourself into having one and not another for a month then what would the next time bring? Two drinks and then nothing for a month.........then a nice night binge then nothing for a month then................see, it's a cycle that never ends.
Its safer for me to never have anything ever again.

Pinkcuda

I don't think it would be a "relapse" for one reason. Reason being that if somebody had the ability to drink a drink or two a month there wouldn't be a need to be in recovery in the first place.
Remember! We alcoholics are the group of people that have lost any control of our drinking.

Coolmummy

Perfect answer pink!

I know it probably sounds like i've done something and don't want to admit it, but that really isn't the case! Thanks for your responses.

sas