Early on question
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 8
Early on question
I have a question for those that reside here in the newcomers area. I myself will be in the friends and family section but I think I may get a better answer here.
My GF of 15 months has been drinking more and more lately along the lines of a stupor every other night, although she recently admitted she could do this every night. We have had many talks about this and I did all the wrong things until recently.
She got wasted last Sat night and we ended up in yet another argument but this one was different, I stopped with the begging and pleading, I just walked away as I knew she had to fix herself for herself.
Sun night she came to me tearfully and told me she wanted to stop drinking and try to become healthy again. We talked very frankly about how hard this is on me now and that it hurts her to hurt me.
Long story short is that last Sat was her last drink, she is on day 5 and I am very proud of her. I am looking for some insight as to when or if she is going to have a time ie: day 7 or day 13 that is going to be harder than the rest. What can I do to help her through this? I told her that if she is going to quit I will not have any alcohol either (I was never much more than a few beers on sat night guy)
I have seen her struggle in the evenings and have left her alone unless she approaches me, this would be the best thing wouldn't it?
Thanks for your words on this in advance.
My GF of 15 months has been drinking more and more lately along the lines of a stupor every other night, although she recently admitted she could do this every night. We have had many talks about this and I did all the wrong things until recently.
She got wasted last Sat night and we ended up in yet another argument but this one was different, I stopped with the begging and pleading, I just walked away as I knew she had to fix herself for herself.
Sun night she came to me tearfully and told me she wanted to stop drinking and try to become healthy again. We talked very frankly about how hard this is on me now and that it hurts her to hurt me.
Long story short is that last Sat was her last drink, she is on day 5 and I am very proud of her. I am looking for some insight as to when or if she is going to have a time ie: day 7 or day 13 that is going to be harder than the rest. What can I do to help her through this? I told her that if she is going to quit I will not have any alcohol either (I was never much more than a few beers on sat night guy)
I have seen her struggle in the evenings and have left her alone unless she approaches me, this would be the best thing wouldn't it?
Thanks for your words on this in advance.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Many of our members do use several Forums
soooo....Welcome to SR!
It's impossible to tell exactly what will happen to
anyone in early sobriety. It's a good sign she wants
to quit and seemingly doing just that.
I do use AA to continue my recovery from alcoholism.
The 2 of you could attend a few open meetings
Just go to listen
You might find the book "Co Dependent No More'
by M. Beatty helpful for yourself.
I'm really pleased that you are joining her in her quest
for a sober healthy future.
Blessings to both of you....
soooo....Welcome to SR!
It's impossible to tell exactly what will happen to
anyone in early sobriety. It's a good sign she wants
to quit and seemingly doing just that.
I do use AA to continue my recovery from alcoholism.
The 2 of you could attend a few open meetings
Just go to listen
You might find the book "Co Dependent No More'
by M. Beatty helpful for yourself.
I'm really pleased that you are joining her in her quest
for a sober healthy future.
Blessings to both of you....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
You sound like a really supportive guy. Thats great.
I think Carol gives advice really good advice. iT is impossible to forsee how a person will progress ( or not) We are all individuals, but it sounds like she knows she needs to make a change and is willing. Thats an important start. Check out some meetings like carlol suggested. Good luck to you both!
I think Carol gives advice really good advice. iT is impossible to forsee how a person will progress ( or not) We are all individuals, but it sounds like she knows she needs to make a change and is willing. Thats an important start. Check out some meetings like carlol suggested. Good luck to you both!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
It's great that you are there to support her but she will probably need other people who understand what it's like to help her through also. AA, or this website - there are many places she can talk/listen to other addicts/alcoholics. Good luck to you both!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
You sound like a great guy! How about leading her here? We would love to help support her and understand what she's going through!
For me, every single minute, hour, day at the beginning my thoughts were CONSUMED by alcohol. The best thing for me would have been to have other activities to fill my time. Being left alone to her own thoughts might not be the best, as she doesn't even know herself right now what she might need. How about going for walks with her when she normally would've drank? Go shopping? Take in a movie? Anything at all to fill the time so she can get more sober days into her.
Best thing, too, would be getting her into some kind of program, or AA. She needs to be ACTIVELY involved in sobriety.
For me, every single minute, hour, day at the beginning my thoughts were CONSUMED by alcohol. The best thing for me would have been to have other activities to fill my time. Being left alone to her own thoughts might not be the best, as she doesn't even know herself right now what she might need. How about going for walks with her when she normally would've drank? Go shopping? Take in a movie? Anything at all to fill the time so she can get more sober days into her.
Best thing, too, would be getting her into some kind of program, or AA. She needs to be ACTIVELY involved in sobriety.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
hey lawless,
i'm a mom of an alcoholic/addict. i suggest, if you can and if you aren't already, go to alanon meetings. that's a way of helping yourself in your recovery, and sets a good example for your gf to maybe choose to get involved in aa.
hugs, k
i'm a mom of an alcoholic/addict. i suggest, if you can and if you aren't already, go to alanon meetings. that's a way of helping yourself in your recovery, and sets a good example for your gf to maybe choose to get involved in aa.
hugs, k
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 8
Thank you all for your replies,
I do have the book co-dependent no more, my GF bought it for herself a few months ago read a couple of chapters and then promptly gave it to me, telling me the book would help me.
I've dealt with this kind of thing for a long time as the chairman or my union's employee, family, assistance program. I've taken the late night calls and have taken some who couldn't do it on their own to meetings. She has a long time friend who told her recently that he was in AA and invited her along, however, she wants to do this alone right now.
I've offered her this website but she isn't ready for that either she says. We try to do healthy things in the evenings when she struggles and it seems to help. She is sleeping more and eating much better now, so far so good.
It's funny that many years ago she had a 4 year relationship and actually was engaged to an ABF, she was codependent to him but ended it and quit drinking for about 14 years. She said that it was easy at that time to do it but it is harder this time around. She says she knows exactly what I am going through because she has been there herself, this is why she wants to stop.
I do have the book co-dependent no more, my GF bought it for herself a few months ago read a couple of chapters and then promptly gave it to me, telling me the book would help me.
I've dealt with this kind of thing for a long time as the chairman or my union's employee, family, assistance program. I've taken the late night calls and have taken some who couldn't do it on their own to meetings. She has a long time friend who told her recently that he was in AA and invited her along, however, she wants to do this alone right now.
I've offered her this website but she isn't ready for that either she says. We try to do healthy things in the evenings when she struggles and it seems to help. She is sleeping more and eating much better now, so far so good.
It's funny that many years ago she had a 4 year relationship and actually was engaged to an ABF, she was codependent to him but ended it and quit drinking for about 14 years. She said that it was easy at that time to do it but it is harder this time around. She says she knows exactly what I am going through because she has been there herself, this is why she wants to stop.
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