Harder than I ever thought...
 

Hey Gang... I'm so glad I've found this site. I've been in the background for a month or so reading other peoples stories and the support I've seen is truly encouraging.

I am what I think would be refered to as a binge drinker. Now, my binges consist of probably 8-10 bottles of beer and, on occasion, a few shots. That may not seem like much in the grand scheme of drinking problems but its my inability to stop at just one or two that is problematic.

In addition to the inability to quit after a couple, the urge to drink is overwhelming after the 2nd or 3rd day after my last "binge". It's that urge or cumpulsion that concerns me the most.

In the last 2 years I haven't gone more than 3 days without getting drunk. I've tried but my mind always comes up with some reason why it's okay. This week I actually asked my Mother to stay with me so I had someone to be accountable to... so I could go a whole week without drinking. That worked great!...

... Until last night. I'm so dissappointed in myself for caving in. I had a lot on my mind after work and I just couldn't face coming home to my empty house again.

It's like just when I think I'm "over the hump" something snaps and in an instant I'll have convinced myself that it's okay to drink... and the next thing I know I'm sitting at the bar ready to drink the night away.

I'm not really sure what my intention is with this little confession... I guess I just thought if anyone would understand where I'm at... you all would. My father (who thinks of me as his drinkin buddy) seems to think I'm over reacting.

The fact is I'm tired of getting drunk all the time.

Thanks for listening.

~ LG1 in the Poconos

nice to meet you, lg1. glad you have posted, and hope you keep reaching out for support.

have you thought about aa or any other support group?

hugs, k

Hi and Welcome,

I am glad that you decided to post.

You will find lots of support here.

Greetings Parentrecovers and thank you for the encouragement. About 5 years ago when I had a regular 9-5 kind of job I was going to happy hour about 4 nights a week after work. Back then I thought I had a problem so I attended a couple AA meetings but it just didn't feel right.

Shortly after that I got involved with someone romantically and my drinking stopped. I always seem to stop drinking when I'm involved with someone. Somewhere along the way the drinking always seems to pick back up again... after 6 months or so.

I can't say for sure if the eventual demise of these relationships are a result of the drinking. I think the drinking creeps up when issues arrise in the relationship. Either way the results are always the same... I end up alone and drinking again.

Thanks 51anna... I think you're right! The support really helps.

Hi there, LG1!!! I, too, am a binge drinker. I wouldn't say I drink as much as some, but the problem wasn't the amount (of course it was sometimes, though! lol), but the fact that I HAD TO every certain amount of days. I convinced myself that I wasn't an alcoholic sheerly because I never craved one in the morning after a bender. Also, because other people told me I was fine. Uh-huh...as if they knew about the obsessive thoughts in my head...;)

The thing is, I knew there was a problem because I couldn't stop the binges...I would think of reasons to justify it, or to celebrate something, or because that day ended in "-day". There were a ton of reasons to keep drinking. But the number one reason to stop drinking for me was because I COULDN'T stop drinking. That was a problem.

Keep posting, read as much as you can, we're here to help you out in any way, just as I know your story will help others.

Welcome to SR LG1, good to have you here. :wave:

Hi LG1 - Welcome to SR. I totally understand about your dad thinking you are overreacting. My Mom and I would drink wine together EVERY time we were in each other's company. She also thought I was overreacting too. I haven't drank since the day after Mother's day and she has come to realize I wasn't overreacting. We have had a lot of deep conversations about my drinking and my past. She said I was definitely right in quitting and even told me of a conversation she had with my 5 year old one day. She had asked him, "Let's have a party. What should we get for the party?" My son answers, "Wine, Gramma Sue." Not balloons. Not candy or cake or ice cream, but wine. It made me feel very remorseful, but also gave me the ammunition to continue living sober. I would like that conversation repeated at some point and I really hope his answer will have changed.

Your dad will come around. He will feel probably a bit sad because its the tool you guys have put forth in communicating, which is the same as my mom and I had. You will find another way to enjoy eachother's company. Believe me.

You will at some point want to stop the insanity that drinking causes and when problems arise you will have a plan to handle it. SR is one tool. There are many others out there as well.

Again welcome!!

My dad, who is now 3 years sober, even tried to tell me I was overreacting to quitting, even though I was the one who had to take him to rehab. He just doesn't want to have to look at his own drinking habit.

I was the same kind of drinker. Didn't have to drink every day, but every time I went out i'd outdrink everyone. 4 beer became 5, became 6, then i'd go up to the bar to get change and sneak a shot in. Then i'd come home and drink more out of the fridge.

It's so nice to see so many of you know exactly what's in my head. This is so much better than I anticipated. Thank you thank you thank you!

LG1, I think you'll find that there is absolutely nothing you can say here that someone hasn't either experienced first hand in the past or are going through it right now. :) So glad you're here!

Welcome to SR LG

It's really hard to just stop a habit and not replace it with something else. Trade your unhealthy behavior for healthy. Don't go home to the empty house - go to the gym, to the movie, take a walk. There are so many things that feel better than drinking and there's no hangover!

:wave:
Welcome to our recovery community

A major key for me....
I had to want to quit
more than I wanted to drink

Welcome to SR!

Sounds like you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. That is a good place to start.

As you may have figured out, alcoholism is in part and obsession of the mind. The cravings will be there in early sobriety and that is why it is so difficult to quit. You stop for a couple of days then a craving hits and you have no way to defend against it.

I would say take it a day at a time, try AA again and this time get a sponsor and work the steps. If you truly want to quit, this will help you get on the right path.

Thanks for posting and welcome.

:SteprobL:

Welcome to SR :)

Welcome to a great place for support. It took me four months after joining here to finally achieve some decent sober time. But today I'm 74 days sober and happy about it with no desire to drink.

Medical advice may be a good idea, at least talk to your doctor and tell him/her you want to stop drinking. Take it one day at a time, one hour or minute at a time if you have to, and you can get and stay sober.

:ghug3