hbrunso10

I've been sober for about 5 months now. I'm currently working the steps with a sponsor, and am on step 4. I was just wondering if anyone could tell me if any of the AA promises had come true for them. If anyone has been miserable, and has found a new freedom and new happiness, with no fear of people and no economic insecurity please give me some feed back.... I don't know. Life is not all that bad, but its definitely not all that enjoyable. Am i ever going to be satisfied with my life? My life is the same without all the highs and lows, and of course the drugs, which i somewhat miss. Is my life ever going to change? Am I ever going to be a person who can share his strength, and hope with people. Please help me.

-Hoke

Stubborn1

That depends.....What's your purpose in life? Do you have any dreams, hopes? Any life would suck if there were no goal or something to look forward to.

FizzyWater

fraid I ain't got any magic answers, what I do know though is that not drinking doesn't make you instantly happier.

It does though

give me more money as I aint spending it on drink

mean I dont shake anymore

I wake up rereshed

I don't spend my days feeling ill and full of that longing feeling that only people with a drink problem can understand.

My lifes not suddenly wonderful cos I'm sober, its better than it was though.

nandm

Welcome to SR!

It does get better. Sometimes slowly sometimes quickly. For me it was along the slower route. I stuck it out though through those tough times and if has definately been well worth the wait. One key to the promises is working through all of the steps and learning to apply them to all aspects of our lives. They are quite an effective tool for any problem not just alcohol.

Pixy1

I cant speak for myself but my dad was sober for may years through the help of AA. It's a promise to you and your higher power is it not? He was miserable at times but his new freedom and happiness was everything to him. AA became a way of life for us all.
Life has it's ups and downs as you know. As for being satisfied with life, who knows? it's how we react to any given moment is it not??
You are already sharing strength by being here.

Life can change in a moment!

Jersey Nonny

I asked this of my sponsor when I was a few months sober. What she told me basically was "The it is you...things around you (circumstances) may not get better, but you'll be better able to handle them sober." I had to trust that she knew what she was talking about. I think one of the character defects of alcoholics/addicts is impatience...we're used to instant gratification, and we want everything yesterday.

The 12 Promises appear on pages 83-84 of the Big Book (I think after Step 9?).

(For myself, the results have been mixed...they aren't fulfilled all at once, nor all of the time. See personal comments in parentheses.)

1. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness, (More often than not.)

2. We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it, (Absolutely.)

3. We will comprehend the word serenity, (More than when I was drinking, for sure.)

4. And we will know peace. (I know it when I relax long enough to feel it.)

5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. (Remember, not everyone will identify with our experience, but we all share the same emotional affects of drinking/drugging. We can all learn something from each other.)

6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. (Sometimes I get "the blahs", but I shake it off...usually when I'm sharing with someone else who is in need of my strength and hope.)

7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain insight into our fellows. (Pretty much goes along with the promise just above.)

8. Self-seeking will slip away. (Yes...I'm no longer the self-centered alcoholic.)

9. Our whole attitude and outlook will change. (Yes...I'm much more positive and up-beat.)

10. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. (No longer afraid of losing a job, a house, bill collectors.)

11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. (One of my favorite expressions is "How important is it?"; and, if I can't do anything about it immediately, it will just have to wait. The Serenity Prayer is a very important part of my life...everyday!)

12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. (This was made abundantly clear to me when I fully understood the meaning of Step Three.)

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us--sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.....

(Easy Does It...I think the last promise is the key to the others. When you stop looking for answers, it will all suddenly become clear to you...at least that is the way it was for me.

Astro

These are the magic words for me, I focus on them when I hear the Promises read, they're a good reminder of what happened to me when I didn't work for them.

My experience at 5 months was that I was absolutely miserable. Why? Because I was going to meetings but not doing anything else. I was avoiding taking the Steps, hiding from sponsors, looking for that proverbial easy, softer way. I never did find it. Recovery didn't happen through osmosis.

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

I wouldn't be telling you my story if life wasn't incredibly better. I got a sponsor, followed suggestions, took the Steps, honored the Traditions, and slowly the Promises became true in my life. They really are the gifts of recovery. But I had to work for them. The easier, softer way is doing what the program of AA suggests.

Recovery is a process, it can be a slow one, at times it might be painful. But I've found that I get back what I put into my recovery, and usually the reward is greater than I expected.

Be patient, follow instructions, and do your best to have some fun along the way, OK?

Astro

So very true. Wow did I love reading that. Thanks Nonny!

ghidrah

Are you drinking? No....then your life is already better. Nobody can actually expect that you quit drinking and then suddenly you have no financial problems or anything else. These are deep, long-made problems. You cant expect that they will be worked out in a mere 5 or 6 months.

Anna

Recovery is a long road and there are lots of ups and downs it, at least that's my experience. I have found that when I am down, I need to shift my perspective. I need to look at my life and my issues from a different point of view.

What are you doing to change your life? Each change that you make in your life has a ripple effect.

tennis71

Welcome to Sober Recovery! This is a safe and healthy environment to share and learn.

I guess my only question to you would be - why did you stop drinking?

I stopped because my life was getting worse every time I drank. It may not be roses right now, but at least it is not getting worse.

Food for thought and all that. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your 5 months.

Rusty Zipper

hoke nope!!!

all of them have...

hoke, at five months, i was a emotional train wreck...

shure, the compulsion to drink was lifted... and that was huge for this life'r

at that point, the problem was my sober minds reaction to life with a clear head...

it was full of clog...

i was stil stuck with me...

the ball of confussion, emotional, sensitive, grandiose, childlike, defiant, rebellious, prejudiced, and self-centered full of fears me...

armed with willingness, i took that long hard look at me, and when i couldnt, others did...

that old line, when you cant take your own inventory, go take someone elses!

i listened to those that were enjoying life, and not the material life...

i was told, your right where your spozed to be...

sheesh!, i hated that...

now i know what that meant...

today, life can stil blow!

its just what i do with that blow job... (hear, hear... no remarks please)

are the promisies to me...

its what i can bring to life now, not what i took...

good wishes hoke...

rz

freshstart

I promise it will get better. Sometimes we have to look at it in perspective though. Can it honestly get any worse than it was by doing the right thing? No. I don't believe it can. Doing the next right thing or the next thing right will never hurt you in the long run or make things worse in the long run. It may feel like it and we may try to tell ourselves that it is so that we have an excuse to go back to the old way but IMO that's the disease. Also try to remember you are on your fourth step? this is a hard time for you. You are getting a lot of crap out and dredging up stuff you wished you could forget. That's bound to take a toll on you. This is the time when you should prolly surround yourself with healthy situations. Meetings... other people in recovery etc. But 4th step aside yes, it gets better. I promise. The world will start looking right again. I promise. Don't ever forget how bad it was. Keep it in perspective.

freshstart

I hope all is well and you'll make it back. Lots of people here looking to help. All you gotta do is accept the hand held out to you. Hope you're alright. Give us an update if you can.

V

nogard

Yes it does get better and yes those promises do happen. I no longer live my life in fear and am free from the bondage of addiction.

I continue to get well, but most of my learning and unlearning is to do with living life on lifes terms and I am so lucky as I have a program to help me in this too.

My sponsor told me a long time ago; "we did not get sick in one day, we got sick one day at a time and we get well one day at a time" I give this to you with the hope, faith and trust that we are healing.

Kevin

gravity

I did my steps 5, 6, and 7 all on the same day (at about 4 months sober). The promises then started to come true for me. There is no comparison to where I was the day I quit drinking. Still more work to do and I am sure that life will get even better. It's been amazing.

TTOSBT

All wonderful advice!
The only question I would have is how is your relationship with your higher power?
When mine is strong, that is when I feel the most at peace and see the most growth.
I am just right behind you at 4 1/2 months and while I have not realized the promises, there are blessings in my life EVERY day today. I just have to look for them and be grateful for them.
Peace :ghug

least

I can agree with the statement that my life is not suddenly wonderful, but it sure is better than it used to be.

I really like that I'm no longer going thru hangovers and withdrawals and all that crap. I'm glad I no longer feel sick in the mornings. Glad my kids respect me again.

Yes, my life is getting better.

Boleo

They say there is no finish line to working the steps. That is only partly true.

There is a "Pinnacle " to working the steps:

"We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.
We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."
(page 85)

CarolD

I have no idea when the Promises began to
come true for me. They began with a slow
awareness that I had made positive progress
in changeing the way I handled situations.

I consider formal Step work was the key
for change....and solid recovery.

BTW you typed and it actually reads
fear of economic insecurity will leave us
Big difference.

Hope you stay on track...Recovery Rocks!

Welcome to our recovery community