gall1972

Hello,

I ve been on and off again for years and years. I am now 36 and was for sure an alcoholic in 6th grade.. going to school with hangovers.

I went out with some friends on Saturday night. I am kicking myself because I think/ feel like I said something to one of the my friend's wife that was not proper. The thing is, I know I said something but I dont know if I said the joking comment or the the rude comment.

I have not heard from him and I am not sure if she told him.

So now like always I am sitting here calling my self names and yelling at loud at myself. I am checking my email every 5 minutes hoping he mailed me something; it doesnt matter if it is to tell me off.. i just want to know.

Any suggestions on what to do?

Thanks

CarolD

When I finally quit drinking...no more blackouts

Are you planning to quit?

Welcome to SR!

gall1972

Yes I do want to quit.

But quitting drinking does not help my tainted friendship.

I just wish I knew for sure what I did...

RK2007

You should call your friend and say you think you might have done something stupid when you were drunk, and explain what you mean. Apologise to them both, although they might not accept it. Your friend and his wife will respect you for that, even if your friend didn't know to begin with - and it will show him that he can trust you to be honest with him.

ScoobaSteve

I'm very much in the same place you are right now. I am ungodly sick of waking up and trying to remember the destruction I caused around me the night before. There isn't anything you can do about what has already happened except to wait and see if he or she mentions it. If they do, own it, and clean it up the best you can! Booze turns us into some really disgusting versions of ourselves. If it's a very close friend you may consider going to them, owning the fact that you were as drunk as you were and asking if you did or said anything to offend him or his wife because your memories are really hazy and you are worried that you may have.

Anna

Hi,

No, quitting drinking does not necessarily fix the problems that it has caused. But, for me, it was chance to begin to move forward. Letting go of things you can't control, is a big part of recovery.

LouLou629

Im sorry to hear of your crappy night..those experiences are the reason why I have finally decided to quit..once and for all..I literally was starting to go crazy...I was so used to innevitably always blacking out to some degree and 99% of the time doing or saying something totally out of character and embarassing that even when I would say have two drinks at home...consciously aware that nothing "bad" happened..I would tell myself otherwise.."no way, I must have done something...pissed someone off..." I would think and rack my brain..and almost make up scenarios that " happened" just to give that ugly eveil monster anxiety a face..even though I knew logically it wasnt possible..I couldnt take that INCOMPREHENSIBLE DEMORALIZATION anymore....I am only five weeks sober now and still get anxious and fret over my past drunken stoopers I dont recall..but I feel a sense of peace knowing that it will never happen again..as long as I stay sober..and that monkey is off my back as far as the past because we all make mistakes..we are all imperfect human beings capable of some pretty cruddy stuff but as long as you make the effort to change..you will survive and come out on top..thats what AA does for me..Tell your friend that regardless of his knowing or not, you are pretty sure you said something offensive and out of line to his wife...Apologize for any hurt it may have caused and let it be known that your aware of your shortcomings when it comes to drinking and that your looking to a new way...most people can see themselves in an akward situation where forgiveness is involved and if your coming to them in a humble manner its much less likely to turn into this big blowout end of friendship ordeal....and try to forgive yourself..I for one know that ugly nasty stranger alchohol turns me into..The real me is the sober me..Good luck friend

Snickers008

LouLou: Could you hit the enter key and put some spaces between your sentences?

That way your insightful posts would be easier for old people like me to read!

bostonluv

Gall1972 - Been there myself. Mostly my imagination was worse than what actually happened but blackouts are not good as you are well aware. I'm sorry you have to feel like this today. If you quit drinking - you'll never have to feel this way again. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

BTW - I wouldn't say anything to my friend but that's just me. The advice above is probably more noble.

Serenidad

I sure as heck don't miss not remembering what I did the night before or who I pissed off! I have been sober for 5 months and haven't had a problem like that since. Thanks for the reminder of where I don't want to be again.

I am sorry that you feel like crap. Try calling him and just ask him if he is mad at you. There is no reason to waste your time worrying about it. You can't change it. Good luck.
:praying