drugs ruend my marriage..help
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: lexingtion park, MD
Posts: 3
drugs ruend my marriage..help
Hi, i'll say my name is L. I'm 23 years old and im a recovering heroin addict. I started stealing codeine from my grandparents when i was very young maybe 11 or 12. I still don't know why i use, and i hope to figure that out here with help. By the time i enterd high school i was dealing oxy and had a very expensive daily habit. I tried to wen myself off when i realized how badly i was addicted and made it 5 days cold turkey before i could not take the pain any longer and told my parents i needed help. They were supportive and i detoxed on Suboxone successfully. I felt great but after months with the same friends i relapsed one day and i was right back where i started. I hate this drug! Long story short i progressed to heroin. I graduated high school (high the whole time) and took what little brain cells i had and went to a Tech school for automotive mechanics.
I met the girl of my dreams there (also attending the school) and we fell in love. She liked doing "recreational" Codine and started doing dope with me (i feel very guilty about that) 2 years later we got married ( on methadone now) and we moved out on our own. Now we have been trying to kick methadone for a while. Slowly weeing ourselves off, then going back to dope. Our marriage hit rock bottom and now we have been separated for 3 weeks. I moved out of state and in with my father.
I left the clinic at 40mg's and waited 4 days to start Suboxone. I feel good (physically) but now that im clean i can see clearly that drugs ruined my marriage. Methadone made me like a emotional and physical zombie and now i cant stop thinking about her.Blaming myself for neglecting her "needs". When on drugs i thought i "felt" love but it was just the endorphens in my brain. I now feel more love for her than ever and i don't know what to do. I want her to be my drug of choice.
I told her i missed her and she said she missed me, but im still waiting for the phone call to "talk things over"
Any advice or comments would be great because i feel alone with my thoughts and don't know what to do. thanks for reading my ramble.... L
I met the girl of my dreams there (also attending the school) and we fell in love. She liked doing "recreational" Codine and started doing dope with me (i feel very guilty about that) 2 years later we got married ( on methadone now) and we moved out on our own. Now we have been trying to kick methadone for a while. Slowly weeing ourselves off, then going back to dope. Our marriage hit rock bottom and now we have been separated for 3 weeks. I moved out of state and in with my father.
I left the clinic at 40mg's and waited 4 days to start Suboxone. I feel good (physically) but now that im clean i can see clearly that drugs ruined my marriage. Methadone made me like a emotional and physical zombie and now i cant stop thinking about her.Blaming myself for neglecting her "needs". When on drugs i thought i "felt" love but it was just the endorphens in my brain. I now feel more love for her than ever and i don't know what to do. I want her to be my drug of choice.
I told her i missed her and she said she missed me, but im still waiting for the phone call to "talk things over"
Any advice or comments would be great because i feel alone with my thoughts and don't know what to do. thanks for reading my ramble.... L
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