gurujake

Hey there. I haven't posted in awhile - gosh, it's been probably 2 years. Anyhow, in July, I had almost 3 years of sobriety when I went out on a European cruise. I convinced myself that it would be alright for me to try a different drug (other than alcohol) and it took my mind exactly 2 hours to justify having a few beers - my sobriety was "officially blown", right? Well, after that night, I didn't think much about drinking. In fact, I was honest with my partner and put it behind me. About a month after that, I started getting more and more obsessed with it and found myself jonesing for my most favorite DOC, Jack Daniels. Well, I had my first Jack & Coke about a month ago and I was off from there. I don't drink every night, but my mind is consumed again. My partner discovered that I had been drinking again last Saturday night - old behavior creeping back. I promised I would be honest with him but I had a drink each of the last two nights behind his back. Of course, my mind is telling me that I didn't get plastered like I used to ...I just had a couple of drinks. I know that thinking will take me down the path of multi-day binges and hotels like it has before. It's so crazy how it was so easy for me to remain sober for the past almost 3 years and 1 episode just triggered my crazy mind into thinking it's ok to drink from time to time...even though it means obsessing, hiding and lieing. Well, that's it for now... I just wanted to vent. I'll be back.

Horselover

Welcome back to SR and I know its hard, but you know what to do. You did it for 2 years before. You know where this road leads and it is pretty much a dead end my friend. Just don't drink for today. Okay?

bostonluv

There are some stories here you should read. It does go right back to where you were before and the more posts I see like this one the more I know it's true. I am not an exception. You are not an exception. I am so glad you're back. Get off the ride now before something happens that makes you feel worse than you already do!!! You don't have to live like that.....I hope to get to know you better as you fight your way back to a better life.

Kathleen

Rowan

Welcome back. Your experience is an excellent example of the obsession of the mind coupled with the physical craving once you take that first drink. It's a good reminder for me, so I'm grateful for your share.

I'm not sure how you got sober the first time, but it might be a good idea to start over that way - or, alternatively, to look into a recovery program.

I got sober and stay that way with the help of AA.

Good luck to you - and please stick around this time.

parentrecovers

welcome back guru! keep reaching out! hugs, k

Ananda

I can relate...drank after 7 years sober, but it took me 8 years of drinking before I got sober again.

I was told to remember what had worked before and use my own expereince as well as the expereince of others...today my past IS my greatest asset!

hold on to the sanity you have and keep posting and reading...:ghug

Itsmytime

Oh how I can relate.... I quit for 5 years and have been drinking the past two. Old behaviours were starting to surface again and scared the he!! out of me. Day 13 now and starting to feel some calm.

welcome back, even though I don't know you from before I feel what you are going through.

Anna

Hi,

I'm glad that you posted.

I think your post is an example of how the alcoholic mind is ready to take over, at the slightest weakening. This is a relentless disease and we must always be aware.

I'm glad you're seeking help.

espresso

Hi there,
You can get sober again. I admire your honesty in posting about your relapse and overcoming any shame,remorse or embarrassment you have about it. I know for me that one drink is too many and a thousand are never enough. Did you get sober previously through AA? AA is all I know and it does work if you work it. Wishing you every success ODAAT and KCB (Keep Coming Back!)

gurujake

Thanks everyone for your posts and well wishes. I did get sober through AA - I went for about 2 years and then I moved and abandoned it. I really thought I was doing great without it and hope I can again. Maybe I will put my toe in the water and check out a local meeting. I don't have any embarassment because I know I am not unique at all - I just don't know if I'm ready for the 24/7 commitment again. Talk later.

tennis71

Welcome back. Getting back into AA after my recent relapse was the best thing I have done lately.

Just keep thinking that this was your last relapse and take it one day at a time.

back2theliving

welcome back I am sorry to here of your relapse but dont use it as an excuse to give up on what you have worked so hard to achieve, dust yourself off and start over you can do it

sassygirl

OMG! This sounds exactly like my story! Once I started it was off to the races. My time in AA told me this would happen! I thought I could go it alone after a period of time and I'm afraid to make that commitment again. I'm glad I found this....it's given me the strength to start over again...4 days sober...the first day I'm feeling OK....even though I "wasn't drinking as I did before"...right! Now I have to get the courage to get back to AA...I know I'm not unique....I feel like such a loser! It's just great to know I'm not alone in this!

CarolD

Welcome back to SR...

I think you will also need to address
why you decided to take a drug
in addition to your problem with alcohol.

Best wishes....

Aysha

Welcome back...You did it ince..Know you can do it again.