back2theliving

Well I have been lurking and reading for a few days now and though it was time to get brave and come out and introduce myself.
I am not going to give my real name but you can call me tee if you like.
I am a 37 year old mother of 2 I have a 3 yr old daughter and a 12 yr old son.
I have been married for 12 years to my very sweet husband. I started drinking when I was 15 yrs old, I started binge drinking about 4 years ago when my father passed away, Like many others here I would black out, pass out at the computer chair,wonder how I got to bed the night before, and feel guilty until the hangover wore off and when it did I would find excuses to go get another bottle and start up another round I feel the worst for my 12 yr old I cant tell you the times he has been late for school, stayed home for school, went to school with no breakfast because I was too hungover to get up and see him on his way. I want things to change, I have for a while, but this time I want to be serious about it I have tried before and fell right off in a week or so. I am hoping with the help of this forum my husband and my own self will I might be able to stick to it this time.
you know the wake up calls shoulda been the black outs, the neglect of my children, but sadly again it was selfish reasons(my own health) I went for a check up with my doctor and my BP was 241/??? I didnt even really hear the bottom number I just heard do you want to have a stroke and you are going on meds, my doctor also said we need to bring you back to the living hence my user name. Needless to say here I am and I look forward to chatting with you all and my sobriety. Today is 3 days for me

Conk

Congrats on 3 days! I haven't even gotten past 24 hours yet.

Keeping your kids in mind will probably help you a lot. Doing things for them instead of yourself may empower you somewhat differently.

Hope you stick around, good luck!

dancinggirl

Welcome! Good for you for being on Day 3!! You know what? You've already done the hardest part: you've understood in your soul that you need to stop drinking. You understand what is happening and are not making any excuses for past behaviours. AND, you are already on Day 3!!! FANTASTIC! You never have to "stop" again...you never have to do these first few days again! I swear to you it gets easier.

I'm a mom of three kids, all 8 years old and under. I know the shame and guilt of not really being "there" for them the next morning. I know that I have not always been under the limit the next morning while driving them to school. I know that I have ditched sporting events because I was too hungover. The shame is excruciating.

However....and there is always a however....I am a MUCH better mom right now!!! I stopped July 13th, had one week of stupidity, and am now committed completely to sobriety, to being a better mom to my kids. The depression is now gone, I look a hell of a lot better now (vanity always helps! lol), I am there for my kids now, and things around the house are getting done for the first time in a long time because i have the energy now!

Stick around...post often...read as much as you can....and know that we're here for you! Glad to meet ya.

Itsmytime

I can relate to the grief drinking. I lost my brother last year and started drinking heavily to numb the pain, however it only brought more in the form of guilt, shame and anxiety. My children and husband are my main priority and if I think of drinking I think of them and how I want to be there for them anytime of the day or night.

Welcome and you will find lots of support.

RK2007

3 days is fantastic , welcome to SR and it's good to have you here!

Toomutch

Congratulations on day 3, the first week is really tough and your almost there.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

Aysha

Horselover

Day 3 is awesome and you are on your way. I say day 3 is awesome because I am sure it hasn't been easy. You sound like me in part because I too would drink and not remember things and promise not to drink again the next night, but I would. As soon as I wasn't feeling the effects of the alcohol I would be off to buying my next bottle.

Do WHATEVER it takes. Don't give in. You can do this. Come here and post. Take a walk. Play with your kids because you will have energy to do it now. Change your patterns and routines and come to SR. If you think AA would help you and find you might need the face to face support then go for it. Do everything you can to stay on the sober road. Its very important because as you said its life or death, but then it is for all of us. We may have not gotten the blood pressure reading, but alcoholism will lead to death if we don't stop it. I am so glad you posted because you helped me today. I could identify so much with you.

A big welcome to you and again thank you for coming here and posting.

Lindsay

Welcome! Day 3 is great. Like was already said, one of the most difficult things to do is recognize the problem and decide to be PROACTIVE about it! Keep posting!

CarolD

...Welcome to our recovery community

Good to know you are making positive changes ..
Sobriety Rocks!

Blessings to you and your family

back2theliving

Thanks for all the warm welcomes I am already feeling right at home here I am probably going to seek meetings @ AA as well but for now I just wanna get my head clear and take it one day at a time

tennis71

Congrats on day three, I am working on day 3 as well. I know a little about how you feel, the worst was neglecting my wife during the 1st years of our marriage. When I tried previous attempts at sobriety things were good, but when my priorities were mixed up and sobriety dropped down the list, things were bad.

Lets both make this our first successful sobriety date.