Feeling Helpless
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hi Suze -I am with Astro on this - using as prescribe -no problem. Feeling urges to do otherwise, as Astro directed.
I don't have any suggestions, honey, I really wish I did. When my son was in the hospital for two days with a really minor illness several years ago, my mind was flying all over the place. (I was not drinking as I was pregnant with number 2). I even read back on it in my journal - I was wishing soooo badly that I could convince myself that it would be ok to get drunk just once, it wouldn't hurt the baby, etc. I just needed to escape so badly! I can't even imagine carrying on as you have been for this length of time with this amount of stress. I would say that the thought, just the thought would come into anyone's mind, addict or not. But if you find yourself planning to find an escape thru drinking or drugs, once again, as Astro directed!
Keep us posted Suzette.
Love Jomey
I don't have any suggestions, honey, I really wish I did. When my son was in the hospital for two days with a really minor illness several years ago, my mind was flying all over the place. (I was not drinking as I was pregnant with number 2). I even read back on it in my journal - I was wishing soooo badly that I could convince myself that it would be ok to get drunk just once, it wouldn't hurt the baby, etc. I just needed to escape so badly! I can't even imagine carrying on as you have been for this length of time with this amount of stress. I would say that the thought, just the thought would come into anyone's mind, addict or not. But if you find yourself planning to find an escape thru drinking or drugs, once again, as Astro directed!
Keep us posted Suzette.
Love Jomey
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Believe me, the last thing you need right now is getting into a narcotic addiction. I am right in the midst of addressing such an issue. They were prescribed for pain, which I have but now it's gotten into addiction territory. There are others ways to treat pain. I see that more clearly now that I'm off the booze. It's easy easy to get in trouble with them. This is not going to be fun so save yourself the trouble of it. You are very strong. I'm still game for yelling BTW!! Numb out with crying or screaming instead of pills or booze. Is yelling addictive? 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Thank you all for staying with me, I know this must be getting boring by now.
I did'nt take extra pills, but I did something else that is strange. After posting about the pills I drew a bubble bath and instead of relaxing I tore a big piece of skin off my foot, down to the flesh. I am not thinking straight, obviously.
Cam seems to have a little more energy tonight, I am praying that he will be able to make it to school tomorrow. I am also praying for concrete answers. Reactive arthritis is what the doc is saying now. I googled reactive arthritis and it is a very broad, covering all types of arthritis. As well as autoimmune illnesses which I suffer from.
I feel ashamed making parts of this thread about me, but I really need you all.
I did'nt take extra pills, but I did something else that is strange. After posting about the pills I drew a bubble bath and instead of relaxing I tore a big piece of skin off my foot, down to the flesh. I am not thinking straight, obviously.
Cam seems to have a little more energy tonight, I am praying that he will be able to make it to school tomorrow. I am also praying for concrete answers. Reactive arthritis is what the doc is saying now. I googled reactive arthritis and it is a very broad, covering all types of arthritis. As well as autoimmune illnesses which I suffer from.
I feel ashamed making parts of this thread about me, but I really need you all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((TM))
we are NOT bored, and there is no reason to feel ashamed. You have been awesome at giving ES&H to others when they need it, now it's your turn to receive it.
I used to think it was a sign of weakness to ask for help. I've learned, in recovery, that it is a big sign of strength, and is crucial to my recovery. There isn't a one of us that hasn't come here and asked for hugs, prayers, or just someone to listen.
We care about you, sweetie, and we WANT to be here for you......let us, okay?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
we are NOT bored, and there is no reason to feel ashamed. You have been awesome at giving ES&H to others when they need it, now it's your turn to receive it.
I used to think it was a sign of weakness to ask for help. I've learned, in recovery, that it is a big sign of strength, and is crucial to my recovery. There isn't a one of us that hasn't come here and asked for hugs, prayers, or just someone to listen.
We care about you, sweetie, and we WANT to be here for you......let us, okay?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Toomutch
Do what you need to do. There is no need for you to feel ashamed for reaching out for support. That's what everyone's here for.
Toomutch, I'm glad you're here. Your voice has been one of peace and understanding. I admire you for keeping your focus on recovery in the midst of some of the more controversial threads. I remember your positive posts. Thank you. I hope your situation improves greatly, and soon. Keeping you in my thoughts.
Do what you need to do. There is no need for you to feel ashamed for reaching out for support. That's what everyone's here for.
Toomutch, I'm glad you're here. Your voice has been one of peace and understanding. I admire you for keeping your focus on recovery in the midst of some of the more controversial threads. I remember your positive posts. Thank you. I hope your situation improves greatly, and soon. Keeping you in my thoughts.
Your love is a bright light!! 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Well,
I sent Cameron to school today, even though he is hurting, I wanted him to give it a try.
He called me after 3rd hour wanting to come home because of the pain. I told him he had to stay through social studies and math. I could tell by his voice that he was worn out, but I just wanted him to try.
Now I feel guilty about making him stay.
Did I do the right thing? I feel like "Mommy Dearest" now.
I sent Cameron to school today, even though he is hurting, I wanted him to give it a try.
He called me after 3rd hour wanting to come home because of the pain. I told him he had to stay through social studies and math. I could tell by his voice that he was worn out, but I just wanted him to try.
Now I feel guilty about making him stay.
Did I do the right thing? I feel like "Mommy Dearest" now.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Hi Suzette - In my opinion you did the right thing. If he really was bad the nurse would be calling you and asking you to come pick him up. You are in a very hard position, but Mom, I think you did right. :ghug3
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Originally Posted by Horselover 
Hi Suzette - In my opinion you did the right thing. If he really was bad the nurse would be calling you and asking you to come pick him up. You are in a very hard position, but Mom, I think you did right. :ghug3
At one point something was mentioned about a program our county has to send a teacher to the home to check on his school work progress and help him out if he needs.
I'm rambling - still not sure if I should have sent him or not.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Prince Frederick, MD
Posts: 72
Hmmm. That's a tough one. It's really hard to know the right thing to do. It htink your son is old enough that he would have just refused to go if he didn't think he could make it. I don't think any harm was done but probably the teacher at home might be a good option at this point.
My son (the same one in rehab now) had non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma when he was 10 and he kept telling me he couldn't sleep and his back hurt. I told him that he probably just was sore from Little League practice.
Eventually the dr told me his pain was due to fluid on the lungs and "as you know" tumors produce fluid. No I didn't know obviously.
So I felt really guilty about that until another dr told me that IF I had taken him in earlier they wouldn't have diagnosed it anyway- then I felt better.
It sounds like you are home and available for him so that's great....one good thing is he got to see his friends and maybe now they are more aware of his predicament. Do you encourage his friends to come over and get together with him?
I guess the not knowing what this mystery illness is is the hardest part!
My son (the same one in rehab now) had non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma when he was 10 and he kept telling me he couldn't sleep and his back hurt. I told him that he probably just was sore from Little League practice.
Eventually the dr told me his pain was due to fluid on the lungs and "as you know" tumors produce fluid. No I didn't know obviously.
So I felt really guilty about that until another dr told me that IF I had taken him in earlier they wouldn't have diagnosed it anyway- then I felt better.
It sounds like you are home and available for him so that's great....one good thing is he got to see his friends and maybe now they are more aware of his predicament. Do you encourage his friends to come over and get together with him?
I guess the not knowing what this mystery illness is is the hardest part!
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Snickers,
That had to be terrifying to find out your son had lymphoma. How did you cope with that?
Iv'e asked Cam if he wants to invite his friends over and he says he's not up for it.
He and my daughter Kaylee are just 13 months apart and share some of the same friends. After school each day she brings home up to 6 kids. So like it or not he gets company.
That had to be terrifying to find out your son had lymphoma. How did you cope with that?
Iv'e asked Cam if he wants to invite his friends over and he says he's not up for it.
He and my daughter Kaylee are just 13 months apart and share some of the same friends. After school each day she brings home up to 6 kids. So like it or not he gets company.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
Originally Posted by Toomutch
Did I do the right thing? I feel like "Mommy Dearest" now.
I would've done the same thing, so you can call me Daddy Dearest
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Well Cam came home early, he will miss his last 2 classes.
He is lying down now. He has been having another symptom for a few days now. His right hand shakes (very obvious). He can control the shaking if he reaaly tries, but when hes not thinking about controlling it, he trembles.
Today I am going to try and hold myself together better than I did yesterday. Thanks for the support and love.
Suzette
He is lying down now. He has been having another symptom for a few days now. His right hand shakes (very obvious). He can control the shaking if he reaaly tries, but when hes not thinking about controlling it, he trembles.
Today I am going to try and hold myself together better than I did yesterday. Thanks for the support and love.
Suzette
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hi Suzette - Just came in to grab a quick bite of lunch and say that I am thinking of you. Now that I have mastered driving the baler up and down straight lines over, and over, and over, and over again without swerving when my mind wanders (LOL), I find myself with a lot of praying time on my hands! You and Cam and your family are included!
Take is easy on yourself, Suzette. Look at it this way, you need to vent somewhere to help you stay sober, and SR is a great place for that. Your honest sharing highlights your courage, sister. I am proud of you.
Love Jomey
Take is easy on yourself, Suzette. Look at it this way, you need to vent somewhere to help you stay sober, and SR is a great place for that. Your honest sharing highlights your courage, sister. I am proud of you.
Love Jomey
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Prince Frederick, MD
Posts: 72
Yikes re the hand shaking! No wonder he doesn't want his friends around. I'm sure he is self conscious about all that is going on.
Had to laugh about your daughter and her friends. Your poor son has to put up with a bunch of teenage girls..... That can be good or bad depending. I'm sure they serve as a distraction at the very least.
My son is fully recovered from his cancer- intense chemo over 3 months knocked it out. I think the hardest part is the followup scans- the scariest thing is not getting it but if it comes BACK.
HOWEVER- referring to my earlier post about uncanny strange things constantly happening to my family.....
This same son was shot in the eye with a BB gun when he was 14 and now has a prostestic eye.
Now he's in rehab. No license after back to back DUI's and facing jail time. Lovely!
So- now you see why people cross the street when they see us coming.
And that's not even the half of it although I do believe that concludes the health related portion.
Anyway- enough about me- your friend in MD is thinking of you and hoping you get some news soon about your son's illness!
<<<<<<<<<< sanitize eyeballs after reading so you don't catch whatever we've got>>>>>>>>>>
Had to laugh about your daughter and her friends. Your poor son has to put up with a bunch of teenage girls..... That can be good or bad depending. I'm sure they serve as a distraction at the very least.
My son is fully recovered from his cancer- intense chemo over 3 months knocked it out. I think the hardest part is the followup scans- the scariest thing is not getting it but if it comes BACK.
HOWEVER- referring to my earlier post about uncanny strange things constantly happening to my family.....
This same son was shot in the eye with a BB gun when he was 14 and now has a prostestic eye.
Now he's in rehab. No license after back to back DUI's and facing jail time. Lovely!
So- now you see why people cross the street when they see us coming.
And that's not even the half of it although I do believe that concludes the health related portion.
Anyway- enough about me- your friend in MD is thinking of you and hoping you get some news soon about your son's illness!
<<<<<<<<<< sanitize eyeballs after reading so you don't catch whatever we've got>>>>>>>>>>
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Snickers - Thanks for making me laugh.
Your little beagle is so cute... I have a beagle, a mini doxie and a hedgehog named Snickers, but we just call him hedgie. They are on my profile if you would like to see them.
I am going to my bubble bath now, and I'm not going to pick a hole in my foot again.
BTW - Cam's knee is swollen and he is in some pain. He is in with his 18 year old brother playing video games. I am going to let a friend of his spend the night tonight, I wasn't going too, but decided otherwise. This is not his fault and I'm not going to punish him for it, which I feel like I would be doing if I didn't let his friend stay over.
Your little beagle is so cute... I have a beagle, a mini doxie and a hedgehog named Snickers, but we just call him hedgie. They are on my profile if you would like to see them.
I am going to my bubble bath now, and I'm not going to pick a hole in my foot again.
BTW - Cam's knee is swollen and he is in some pain. He is in with his 18 year old brother playing video games. I am going to let a friend of his spend the night tonight, I wasn't going too, but decided otherwise. This is not his fault and I'm not going to punish him for it, which I feel like I would be doing if I didn't let his friend stay over.
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